a so-called writer's journal

dakeya :(

2012-01-15T11:44:00.000-08:00

back in august, when i was in seoul, i met kibum in a place called dakeya. i love the place so much. so so so so sooooo much. everything about it is so nice. the atmosphere is nice, the food is GREAT and the people who work there are all very nice and the people who come there are awesome.

i've always wanted to go back there one day. i wen't there everyday when i was in seoul. i remember the very very first time going there. i was sooooooooo overwhelmed. i'm finally in the place where kibum often visits. and there were photos and autographs of famous kpop stars all over the wall. i wassssss soooo happy. kibum was there, after school was there. i just have the wish of being lucky enough to see them all come. they have the best kimchi bokumbab and rice bowl. and super spicy jjampong ramyeon.

i remember seeing kangin and i was like woooaaaaa. this is the first time i've seen a celebrity up close and not on some event where i'm surrounded by other fans. i remember hearing sumin calling kibum to come to dakeya but kibum couldn't make it. i remember FINALLY meeting kibum in dakeya and him coming up to my table and having a conversation with me and ajeng. i remember every fucking detail that night. how kibum looked, the words he said. aaaaaah i'd give to experience that again. i'd do anything seriously.

a few days ago, i heard that sumin-ssi (the owner) was going to close down dakeya. it's soooooo sad. i always wanted to go back to dakeya whether or not i meet kibum again. i want to relive that night. to remember every single detail that happened that night sitting on the exact seat i sat on back then. drinking the same drink. ordering the same food. it was such a happy place. i don't know the reason for it being closed down. it could be anything. but sumin's tweets have been seriously sad :( the saddest was

"in 2 hours time, dakeya will disappear"

"1-6-2010 dakeya opened, 16-1-2012 dakeya closed down." and he twitpic his picture sitting in the steps to dakeya.

it's so depressing aarrgghhh. and just now he tweet

"in 1 hour, dakeya will disappear"

Ajeng and agis took a lot of pictures of dakeya back when we were in seoul. i'll post some of them.

thank you for taking such awesome pictures you two!

dakeya, sumin-ssi, it's been great knowing you! i hope new dakeya will open soon and it'll be as awesome as the gangnam dakeya we all love :)

zombie apocalypse prep

2012-01-12T09:58:00.000-08:00

once, someone posted on 9gag the words:

"That awkward moment when you realize you have no plans for where you are going in life, yet you know exactly what you are going to do in a zombie apocalypse"

and when the postsecret app was still active, i remeber seeing 2 secrets

"i wish the zombie apocalypse would happen so i my abilities won't be measured by what i learn in school"

(something like that, i don't really remember the exact words)

"if the zombie apocalypse happens, i'm getting back with my ex, he has a plan"

well, i, on the other hand have also prepared my own list of zombie apocalypse survival. here, check it out:

1. plant ALL the potatoes!

it is said that humans can live out of potatoes alone. potatoes are also ngenyangin and healthy so if the apocalypse happen, i'll have to prepare eating this for the rest of my life

2. stock my house with indomie

this will only last for a few months though, for the rest, i'll have to stick with the potates

3. put out tons of buckets to catch rainwater

where else am i going to get water? i'll have to learn to make fire by rubbing 2 wooden sticks together

4. make my fence stronger, somehow

5. learn how to use a sword

also learn how to shoot using a gun, but guns are loud and they attract more zombies. but it's still a skill that you must be able to do

well, those are the main points. the rest i will have to figure out as i go. i have a feeling indonesia will have more survivors than US. we have huge ass fences here, at least some houses do

the walking dead

2012-01-10T02:42:00.000-08:00

The Walking Dead is officially a new obsession of mine. i've watched all the episodes and read all the graphic novel volumes. it's awesomeness i swear! i mean, i guess it depends, since not everyone is interested in zombies, but this one seriously rocks.

The story is about a bunch of people who managed to survive a zombie apocalypse and how they try to stay alive. they each have their own skill that makes them able to survive this long in a world swarmed with zombies.

My favorite favorite character is Andrea. She's 26 and before the zombie plague she works as a clerk in a law firm. her ability is gun shooting. she has amazing aim. she's pretty and blonde but isn't a damsel in distress like most other blonde female characters are.

when the zombie apocalypse happen in real life. i want to be just like andrea!

more about kim kibum

2011-08-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

hehe sorry, hope you don't get bored.

being a snower for a year, i have come to learn almost all the fun facts that has been going around about kibum oppa. one thing for sure is i'm sure we snowers hold on to a lot to kibum's answer to his 100 question interview.

1. there's this part where he says that the eyes it's what he notices first when he first meets a girl.

it's true :)

When you talk, he would really listen and looks you right the eyes. like really look at you. honestly it really does kill me when he did that, but i managed to get my words in order though i felt it all jumbling up in my head.

2. i'm sure you're all familiar with his killer killer smile? they're A GAZILLION times hotter in real life. they are really lethal and killer. they're perfect in every way. esp his teeth. aaarrrgghh his teeth are just soooooo amazing.

3.SNOW WHITE.

he really is white as snow. and it seems sooooooo smooth it's like there's milk falling on top of his skin. it's like silk.

4. HIS VOICE

ORGASMIC. esp when speaking english

5. his arms of sex

they really are that sexy. seriously. and they look so much better in real life

dear snowers

2011-08-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

dear snowers/dwarfs/fans of kim kibum everywhere.

I'm sure we all know that our kibum oppa is very special. He has a killer smile, he has arms of sex and he is just perfect in every way.
when he decided to take a hiatus from super junior, many were disappointed. i'm sure back then there were so many snowers, but lately they've been fading more than ever and only a few very loyal ones remain.

I am new to being a fan of kibum. probably only about a year. but i fell for him hard, really hard. never in my life have i ever fell for any othe celebrity like this. i like everything about kibum and no other kpop star can change that.

yes being a snower is really really right, i'm sure we all know that. i read a post from a very wonderful snower named katie (press here for link) and it inspired me to write this post.

My purpose for writing this post is because I feel that it IS really hard being a snower, and i'm more than thankful to have all you snowers to wait for kibum so i feel less lonely and i can never thank you all enough for the picspams and translations and fun facts about kibum. An update from each and every one of you is what i look forward to each day.

A few days ago i was very very very fortunate to be able to meet kim kibum and converse with him directly. What i can tell all of you is, i promise you, he is sooooooooooooo nice. i mean, really really really nice. he remembered me from earlier that day when i was only a fan among other fans and he came up to me and actually started a conversation with me, a huge fan of his. he's very very humble and he doesn't even show the least bit that he's famous. he's just amazing. sometimes i am still wondering how i made it through that 15 minutes alive. i thought i was going to die right then and then from happiness.

I have no proof that i have actually met kim kibum, i dont think taking pictures would be appropriate since he's already being so nice and treating me more like a friend than a fan. all i have is an autograph that might as well been meant for all you snowers out there.

After talking to him and actually how he is in person (we both stayed at dakeya hours after we finished conversing) i can tell you each and every one of you that he is DEFINITELY WORTH THE WAIT. i promise you that, i guarantee you that. he is sooooo nice, has a really big heart and he deserves fangirls like us. i mean come on, how many korean stars do you know comes up to their fans and treats them really nicely. we all know that that's unnecesarry but he chose to do that and i'm sure he would do the same with any one of us.

I hope you don't ever give up on kim kibum, he's super awesome and he's making a comeback soon. what with all the endorsements, upcoming drama and magazine article, we can be sure that he's ready to strike back more than ever. so for snowers everywhere, if you ever feel tired and impatient, and thinking of downgrading kibum in your list of bias, i hope you will remember that he will make an awesome comeback and that he's a really good person and deserves to have all of us as his fans :)

ps: he's a really good listener. he would really listen to you when you're talking and look at you right in the eyes.

kim kibum, mind-blowingly amazing

2011-08-25T11:39:00.001-07:00

So i was lucky enough to visit seoul for 8 days from 17-25 august. remembering that on august 21 is kibum's birthday, i just had to find him, no matter what it takes. what i did when i arrived in Seoul is i went to Dakeya every single day. dakeya is a sort of japanese restaurant, more correctly to be said as an izakaya, google if you dont know what it means.

The reason i went to Dakeya every day is because it's kibum's favorite place to hang out and the owner of the place is kibum's best friend, park sumin. he was really nice. on our 3rd day he told us that super junior kangin was coming and he really did. and sumin asked us who our favorite member was. i said it was kibum and he said he could call kibum to come right then. he did call kibum but he didn't come, after all it was his birthday, he was probably doing something somewhere else whatever and wherever that is.

Time passes and before i knew it i only had two full days to spend in Seoul. 2 days, that's all i have to find kibum oppa. Ajeng was already having her luck with KiChul and i'm just horrified that i would have to return before i meet kibum oppa. Than the next day, a miracle occured. miracles actually.

kibum tweeted that he was filming his new drama in KyeongBok Palace. i went there straight away with only changing my clothes. When i arrived, the huge gate at the front (GwangHwaMun) was closed, and the tourist information also said it was closed. i decided to go around the gate and try to find another entrance. turns out there is one other entrance, it opens straight to the parking lot and there were people wearing ID tags and hanboks everywhere. i knew i was in the right place.

i sat at a corner and waited for about an hour. i know this is where the actors were going to have lunch cause the actresses just finished theirs. turns out i was right, when the actresses left, the actors came out and there he was, kim kibum oppa in korean traditional clothing. me and a few fans starting panicking and scattering all over the place. i chose to stand somewhere in front of the toilet so that if he decides to go to the loo, he would pass me. the luck that i have, he really did head for the loo and he passed right in front of me. sooooooooo close. we were only a meter away and i was completely shaking and i couldn't move, i couldn't even say anything. this is the kibum i've been dying to see for ages and ages. he's actually here and he's a million times hotter than he ever was on photos/videos. his snow white skin glowed even more under the sun and he was absolutely gorgeous. when he passed me, i finally managed to say, 'annyeong oppa, happy birthday.' he then turned his head back and smiled and me. not a huge smile like he usually does, but the smile was there, a smile of sincere. and i was in heaven.

we weren't allowed to do much that time, we can't take pictures, his manager is always around and he only answered what he needed to answer. we walked back with him to the set until finally he said "ok, bye bye" and disappeared behind the gate. that day, for the whole day, i was totally kibumized. terkibum-kibum. kibum is all i can think about and he's all i can talk about. i was completely over the moon. i went to some corner away from the other fans and i sobbed quitely, happy happy tears. i was exhilarated.

i decided that i should go to dakeya again that night (as usual) and tell park sumin that i just met kibum! so later than night, me and ajeng head for dakeya. when we arrived, i saw from outside a figure so familiar it's unmistakeable, it must be him and no one else. kim kibum was inside dakeya. jesus H! i was meeting him for the second time that day! right when i was completely swooned by him, and i get to meet him again. this is all to good to be true. i pushed the door and went in and acted as calm as i possibly could.

i took a seat facing him, and all of a sudden he was waving at me, "hello!" There was only wall behind me so it was none other than me he was waving at, and i managed to wave back, "hello oppa, you remember me?" and he answered "yeah!" i sat down and started crying again, this is too much. there were about 8 fans earlier today and he remembered me. i stopped myself from crying cause it would be too embarrassing if he saw me. so i calmed down and ordered a drink.

i really enjoyed being in the same room as kibum. i love his voice more than anything. his talking voice i sometimes play over and over in my ipod cause i love it so much. i just wish i could understand what he was saying, haha. after quite a while, not sure how long, like 15-30 minutes, he stood up from his table and walked towards the toilet, i looked down and pretend to be busy with my mobile cause the only way to get to the toilet is by passing my table. i dont want to stare while he walks past me. so i looked down and acted busy and it truly was the shock of a lifetime when he didn't go to the toilet, instead he sat on my table on the chair opposite of me. i think i had DIED. there is NO WAY this is happening. things like this only happen in movies and fan fiction. i was definitely in a dream. i just sat there agape when he took a glass and offered it to me. i just stayed still and had no idea what to do, i was pretty much still in shock and my friend, ajeng, came to be the heroin and poured a drink to his glass. when kibum's glass was filled he put it forward and clinked it against my glass. "nice to meet you" he said. and can only reply with "nice to meet you too" and he started the conversation by asking "so where do you guys come from?"

i dont want to go into to much detail into my conversation cause well, it is private. hehe. it was nothing personal i swear. if you're really dying to know then you can contact me, but i can't write it all down here. apart from it being private, it is too long to write anyway. what i can tell you is it all ended in a handshake. he was the one who offered his hand and said again "nice to meet you" and when he held my hand, i didn't want to let go, i held on to in until he had to kind of pull it away. it was embarrassing but it was too beautiful, too smooth, and too surreal that i really didn't want to let go.

physically, i daresay photos and videos don't do him justice. his skin is snow white. really smooth smooth skin it's like there's milk falling through it. and his oh-so-famous killer smile, it's so much better in real life, it really is killer. and when i talk he really looks at me, like really listens while looking into my eyes and that sometimes causes me to just fly to space with pure happiness. and his teeth, it's THAT perfect. it's exactly like in the pictures, so right, so neat, so white. and his cheeks really are that chubby you wish you could just go ahead and kiss it.

what he was wearing that time was a black cap, a white armani exchange wife-beater, black khakis, a gucci belt and crocs. haha. it's not the first time i've seen him wear those stuff.

all in all, it was an AMAZING experience. it was EXTRAORDINARY. i like kibum THAT MUCH and i was soooooo lucky to have him to come to me and be soooo nice :'''''''')

ps: oh, and i can tell you he speaks perfect english. so much better than what we see in full house

robots

2011-07-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

contrary to my last post, i've been studying every single fucking day to hopefully get smarter. but then again, about that, it turns out that to be smart you don't just study, but you have to also manage your time well. but, how on earth do you manage your time without seeming to much like a robot. i don't want to wake up at the same time every day. i don't want to be forced to do the exact same thing every single day. i mean, isn't that really dull and you have no freedom?

well, it's either that or bego isn't it?

rajin males?

2011-06-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

i hate being stupid. i hate passing all 15 years with ok grades. with grades that's just somewhere above the ok zone. never in my life i was top 10 in class and never have my grades been satisfying. they're always just ok.

studying doesn't make you smart either. it just makes you remember all the stuff your teacher said in class or everything that's written in the book, but it doesn't make you able to analyze some literature work or make awesome mind blowing essays and it still doesn't make you able to pass those smart ones that are always there no matter what school you go to. i mean, have you ever heard of an anak rajin ranking 1 di kelas? it's always the smart ones. the ones who seem to have the brain of albert einstein's great grandchildren or something.

being rajin doesn't make you able to come out with awesome ideas on what to analyze or discuss on your final project, rajin people ends up being passive. whereas smart people's brain are always so active coming up with the newest things and not needing that much time. they only need like one tenth or one hundredth of the time that rajin people need to understand the exact same thing they're being thought. smart people can use the remaining time to do what they want whereas making them active and involved in so many new things wowing people even further. rajin people take up hours and hours and days and weeks to study for an exam and still doesn't always nail it. losing all those hours in where they can actually do other activities. honestly until now i don't get why god invent smart people. i know everyone has their own talent and ability, i know i know, but being smart is one hell of an ability. seriously. it's something everyone will want to own. it's something that can make parents and families and friends proud. on the other hand, rajin people can try as much as they want. they may succeed or they may like most times fail. and when they fail, nobody pretty much cares about the effort shown all along. i know in movies people strive to get what they want and stuff, but yeah right things like that will never happen in real life.

true what my friend says, ga ada orang rajin masuk itb, pasti yg masuk orang2 pinter. it's true sih, every person i know who got into itb ga ada yang cuma modal rajin, pasti emang pinter dari sananya. unlike me who made it to ui cause ui's recruiting like 3 times more students than usual cause they need the money.

eneg bgt sumpah, i wish i was smart. it's the one thing i want more than anything in the world

really really late night thoughts

2011-05-10T12:11:00.001-07:00

Dear god, thank you for the opportunities that you have given me in live. i know this sounds really cliche but i really really mean it. all those opportunities mean so much to me, those that i take or the ones that i don't. i realized that i never once regret taking an opportunity that lies ahead of me, though i realize i let go quite a lot of them. i will try to not do that again, i know you have big plans for me and i am willing to fulfill them will all that i have. i just hope "males" doesn't stay so much in the way because it usually does. lot's and lot's of time.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

2011-04-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

so i haven't read in aaaagggesss, and when i decided to pick something up again i was sooo scared that the book would be disappointing and that i'd lost mood in reading again. i ended up choosing the girl with the dragon tattoo and let me tell you that's it was the best choice i could probably make.

This is book is AMAZING. I don't even have words to describe it. it surely is one of the best books i've ever read.

The story is about journalist Mikael Blomkvist who is assigned to find a woman that has been missing for 40 years. He is then helped by Lisbeth Salander, genius hacker/researcher, to find the long-lost Harriet Vanger.

When Harriet went missing, the police searched for her for years and a very thorough search it was, but nevertheless Harriet was never found. So it's a huge challange for Mikael and Lisbeth to search for someone whose been missing for 40 years. All the clues are gone, the police have gone through everything, so what more to look for? but the amazing duo managed to find something the police and all other investigators have missed.

I love how Stieg Larsson made such strong strong characters. Lisbeth Salander aka the girl with the dragon tattoo is soooooo cool beyond repair. she is just so aaarrrghh!!! she's so darn amazing i don't even know where to begin. you'll definitely drop your jaw several times through the book at seeing Lisbeth in action.

I just watched the movie adaptation of this book and it was pretty ok. as usual, some parts were changed, but mostly things stayed the way they were. i was just slightly disappointed at how they picture Lisbeth.

In the book, Lisbeth was 24 but could easily be mistaken for a teenager because of her small figure. But in the movie she looked kind of old, like she's almost 30. She's also really tall in the movie, and too boyish. I've always imagined Lisbeth as a person who dresses like a punk but could still wear a black skirt and tights. But well, overall she is the Lisbeth Salander. Her personality is exactly the same, just a little different on the appearance.

All in all. i recommend this book to EVERYONE. you won't regret it I swear, it's so amazing i'm just completely out of words for it.

Anyway, they're making the hollywood version of the movie as i speak. Daniel Craig is going to play Mikael Blomkvist and Lisbeth will be played by Rooney Mara, the girl who played Mark's ex-girlfriend in the social network. i hope she's better than the earlier screen version of Lisbeth sooo can't wait for the movie!

top 5 people i would like to meet

2011-01-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

ok, so you are probably getting tired of my blog cause it's filled with my long rants, ramblings and curhats and whats its. sooo, today i am going to write about the 5 people i'd love to meet. this is actually kind of a challenge for me cause it's hard to utter why i want to meet them.

1. Kim Kibum @ikmubmik

Only because he is the best looking guy alive. well to me that is. he knows how to look right and i would GIVE to meet him

2&3. Trey Parker and Matt Stone

They're an item, i can't separate these two cause i want to meet both at the same time and if i had to choose, i wouldn't be able too. I don't know what goes on in their brains so that they could create such genius work. i love every bit of south park. the sarcasm, the critics it makes about society, religion and pretty much everything else. south park has been going on for almost 15 years and i know that it'll one day come to an end, like it or not. but i don't think i will be able to let the 4 boys go. ever, ever.

4. Yoko Ono @yokoono

Only because the is soooo amazing in so many ways. Fighting for peace though the whole world hates her. Also her relationship with John, it's the sweetest thing. i don't think i've seen a couple more in love. Last, i can't bring myself to imagine what it felt like to have your husband dying in your arms.

5. Lee Seunggi

Won an award for best emcee, best singer, and is an AMAZING actor. and unlike most korean stars, he's never had a plastic surgery.

20 and still figuring

2011-01-03T21:54:00.000-08:00

so my parents have kept asking me about what i want to do with my life. i tell them i want to work at probably jakarta post for a year after i graduate and then continue with my postgraduate after.

i dont know why it's sooooo hard to tell them this but THIS is what i really REALLY want:

-graduate and move my ass out of my parent's house. (i've been saving)

-get a job

-travel around indonesia

-get married

-become a full-time mother

i know my parents will go ballistic if they knew that's what i really wanted in life. they (like well other people hearing this) will think that i'm throwing my life away my getting married early and not working after i have kids. but hey who can blame me? that's what I want. more than anything in the whole wide world. so i don't see why it would be a waste. well maybe if i have to i'll probably squeeze in post-graduate somewhere in there.

the thing is, i feel that throughout my 20 years of life, my mum was never really there. i know it may not be fair to say this at all cause i don't know what it's like to be in her position, but i'm just saying what i feel. she leaves the responsibility of having children to others. i was raised mostly by hired people rather than my mum herself. until now, there are so many things she doesn't know about me. what annoys me the most is that she never ever listens. ever, it's like, no matter what i say or what i try to tell her, her ears aren't there. she always mentions something else completely irrelevant or straightforwardly say that i'm wrong.

i can never know whether i'm going to be a good mother or not. but the least i can do is try and not make the same mistakes.

:( ?

2010-12-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

Sumpah gw ga tau dan ga tau caranya untuk tau pacara gw apa kabar, masih mau pacaran apa nggak,udh nemu yg baru apa blm, masih inget gw apa ga.

1,5 year to go!

2010-11-21T09:29:00.000-08:00

i'm already in my third year of college without me realizing it. it feels like it was only yesterday i was awestruck by everything in my campus and by the many kinds of people i meet and i was so so eager to learn when i first got in. i was so happy it was like a dream come true and i know so very much that one day, i will get sick of it all. all.

well, that day is here.

i have been striving for survival for the past 4 semesters. at school i was never really that smart, and i'd really really like to change that. in college, i'm not smart either, i'm feel like i'm always the lowest in class and all but i think my grades are more important than anything. i never really aimed that high, i just want to pass on all of my classes. i just want to finish college in 4 years or less. since i'm not that smart to begin with, i had to really work my ass to get there, thank god i managed the last 2 years ok. sure there were bruises here and there, but thank god i managed to pass all classes and i think my GPA is pretty ok, it's NOTHING compared to the others in my class, but i know my own strength and so far i think i've done what i can.

but after 2 years of trying, it just gets sooooo tiring. after 2 years of wanting to pass everything cleanly, without cheating, everything becomes so messed up. i hate this semester more than anything. i don't have a favorite subjects, i feel like my teachers are trying to kill me though i know they are helping, but i'm the one being help is so tired of trying. i have no mood to study anymore because i hate the fact that the curriculum is so effing stiff and i haven't been able to learn the language on my own by watching tv or listening to songs or whatever. and i hate that i have to study history every fucking semester from semester 1-5. history is the subject i have always hated ever since i first came contact with it. and i hate that my favorite subject ever, culture studies. is only studied in 1 fucking semester like seriously fuck.

i still tutor my precious pupils, 3 times a week, sometimes more. i don't think they are taking my study time at all, coming to see them is a real treat. being in contact with them reminds me of how happy it was to be young. they are so happy and full of energy and i LOVE, more than anything, sharing with them what i know. tutoring them makes me feel like i actually have a purpose in life. like i'm actually useful for something. it's just fascinating how you tell them something that you always thought was just simple knowledge but they're so awed by it.

lately, i've been asked to teach 8th grade science, and i was like, what? i suck at science? but the mother of my pupil kinda forced me to do it, so i did it. and i was soooooo surprised at how much i still remember from what my 6th grade teacher taught me. i mean, i didn't need to look at books that much, i just told my pupil everything i know and it really does make me feel alive. i can't believe how much teachers were such an inspiration and how much they've done for us.

ok i'm rambling, the point is, i love tutoring because not only my pupils learn, i do too. i love reading articles they brought home from school, i like listening to their stories of how they're school life is like.

jadi intinya gw mau ngmngin tutoring apa cape kuliah sih? haha i don't know either i just went where my fingers took me. i just hope more than anything that i still pass this semester.

favorite songs

2010-09-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

i promise you all i am trying my best not to have all the songs be SuJu even though they're songs are on top on my play count

1. Wasted Years-Maroon 5

not a maroon 5 song that's often heard of but i love it and it will forever be my favorite song. it's available on maroon 5 friday the 13th album. i lost mine somewhere in the house and i can't wait till the day i found it again and get all excited and watch it. oh and the song's recorded live. no studio recording--at least not that i know of.

2. A Love that will last-Renee olstead

my second favorite song and i will forever love it and it amazes me how renee olstead can sing sooooo amazingly at the age of 14. i will also always remember the time i met her and actually cried and was totally speechless. her java jazz performance was also overly awesome.

favorite movies

2010-09-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

continuing with the challenge, here's a few of my favorite movies of all time. not really in order, cause i can't decide which one i like more than the others.

1. Troy

I looooovveeee this movie and i've seen it a gazillion times and i could go watch it many more times and probably still love the movie. The storyline's completely messed up actually but it's the best visualization of ancient greece you could get. well, actually not really, but to me it's perfect. it makes me wants to go back to those old days and actually be one of them. i bought the extended version dvd and i loved it. it's uncensored and has more scenes and it's got so many features that are greek mythology related.

2. Inglourious Basterds

I also love this movie so so so so so much i think it's perfect in every single way. i remember being in the movies and being completely in awe from the start to the end of the movie. it even features 2 main characters from troy--brad pitt and diane kruger-- who also plays the main characters in this movie.

3. Bring it on

Every girls favorite, need i say more? i still memorize the i'm sexy i'm cute song and i watched the dvd religiously when i was in primary school and wanted to be a cheerleader when i was in junior high but i didn't pass the auditions. since then, cheerleaders have ended up entering my life in an unfortunate way. oh and, gw ga mengakui adanya bring it on 2, 3, 4, 5 and etc.

4. Freedom Writers

Loves it. Mrs G really inspired me to be a better tutor and made me realize i am actually responsible for other people's futures. she inspires me to be a teacher one day and i really love everything about her. it's amazing how she could approach her students. i would've quit asap if i was here. she also made me realize that if you really want to fight for something, sacrifices has to be made.

5. The Princess Diaries

Mia Thermopolis. awe inspiring in EVERY single way. i actully prefer the book, but the movie's a nice visualization. in the book, it's amazing how mia, who was a real nobody who couldn't do anything, ended up as a girl who could speak her own words and bring democracy to a country. She even published a book later in life.

6. Attack on the Pin-up Boys

Kibum as a lead actor? how could i not LOVE the movie? ok so the storyline's a bit bizarre but the boys played their parts nicely. i esp love kibum and donghae and heechul. but mostly kibum. he looks like a life version of shinichi in this movie and i've only watched the movie 3 times but i could go watching it over and over.

super summer

2010-09-16T14:16:00.001-07:00

been watching super junior's super summer. not as good as exploration of the human body or full house but it's ok i guess. only 3 members are in it. my favorite 3: kibum, donghae, siwon. what i like about the show is it's got hidden cameras all over and the boys are put into situations that really reveal their true self. i've only watched 4 episodes and i learned a lot about kibum and ilfil sama siwon haha.

so the guys have to try and win one girl's heart. there's this one scene with a hidden camera where the girl pretends to fight with his boyfriend over the phone then she cries to kibum and asks whether she should break up with him or not. kibum said something in the lines of, 'if you're in rage and you kill a person, you will surely regret it. don't make decisions when your in an emotional state. take time to think it over.'

that really touched me.

i mean, that is so me, making rash decisions and asking to break up almost every time i fight with iman, and i get moved by the smallest things aka labil. i also get pissed off and irritated real easily and do things while i'm enraged only to end up regretting it later.

and it takes kibum to tell me i shouldn't do those kinds of things again. hhaha

still figuring out life

2010-09-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

turns out my plan to get a job and move out as soon as i graduate has to be postponed. my parents really want me to continue my studies. i thought about it and i guess getting a postgraduate degree is probably the best decision. but, again with the money. i so do not want to keep living of their money until i'm 24. no way in hell. so i have to do the one and only thing i can, get a scholarship. but the problem is, can I? i don't know how hard it is to get one. but let alone the scholarship, i don't even know what major i'm going to choose gaarrrghh. but then again back to the money. i really need to get a scholarship no matter what. i really really desperately do. i have to. but again i state, i'm not that smart. i mean i've been trying to study like heck this holiday but i don't think it's working much. maybe i'm not trying too hard, maybe i'm still not on the right track. but i really really want to naikin IP this semester i really do. even if gw ga bisa naikin, at least i could mertahanin so please dear IP jangan turun no matter what happen dear god.

10 random facts

2010-09-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

i know i've posted random facts about me but i'll post another one cause well, you can never have enough random facts

1. scary as it may sound, i can't effing wait to get married and have kids. might as well be after graduation.

2. as much as i'd love to get a job and be successful at it, i believe that my true calling is to be a mother. and i can't wait for my turn to be one

3. i have had a job for 6 months now and i haven't managed to save a single penny of my payment. i always end up spending it all in a matter of weeks. bad habit bad. definitely changing it this month

4. i am one of the the most jealous-an person i know. i get jealous sooooooo easily of other girls and thank god my boyfriend isn't one to care much about this. he actually makes fun of it sometimes purposely making me jealous, getting me all fumed up and laughing about it.

5. when i sleep, it has to be pitch black. i can't even stand the slightest bit of light, that stupid annoying red blinking light in my bb and the stupid green dot in my air conditioner. so no matter how dark it is, i still use an eye patch

6. i am a worshipper of trey parker and matt stone. i believe that everything they claim to be true is true and i guess south park has made a huge part in making me who i am now. a really huge part.

7. i kinda like cooking and think that i'm not so bad at it, i'm just inexperienced

8. my room's a complete mess esp. my bookshelf but i like to go to bookstores and align the books if they're displayed crookedly.

9. i'm not that very good at keeping promises. in fact, i suck at it. it's the one thing i kind of always fail to do, along with a few other stuff

10. when people praise me for my english, i don't think i deserve it, cause I never earned this ability. it's something i pick up when i was in aussie. anyone who was dumped in australia for two years with no one to speak indo to would result in the same ability.

no other

2010-09-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

gw tambah pgn bisa bhs korea. it sound a thousandfold more beautiful if you can actually understand the song. turns out the meaning of the lyrics are beautiful.

There’s no one like you, even if I look around endlessly

Where could I find someone as great as you?

Someone as kind as you?

a gift like you

i'd have to work to death to be this fortunate

i'll protect you as if i we're protecting the world

Where could i find a guy as happy as i am?

The happiest guy in the world

Your once strong heart becomes sensitive

Whenever i'm hurt

Holding me in your arms gently

i only wish for simple things like that

my heart wants to do everything

to make you happy, yet you don't know this

I want to shout it from the bottom of my heart

My soul is completely unrestrained

i'll always be thankful, you're the reason i can do anything

i have nothing, absolutely nothing

Please know that my heart is burning hotter than the sun

Even when other girls come onto the stage

bright and shiny during TV shows,

you'll still never fail to dazzle me

i'm going crazy, crazy baby

your loving words

are all i need in this world

i wonder how someone like you could exist

i stupidly believe that you are everything to me

25 day challenge

2010-09-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

following hanny's post, here is the day 1 challenge. though i'm sure i wont post all 25

5 most memorable day of my life(in no particular order):

1. july 8 2008

the day he finally, finally, after years of being my ultimate crush, asked me out. i don't believe any other girl in the world could be as happy as i was back then. maybe it's because of that god took him away from me within a matter of weeks. nobody deserves to be that happy

2. also july 2008

the day i got accepted at UI. my happiness from the previous incidents got doubled.

3. 1998

the year i moved to australia. awesomeness. best two years of my life

4. july 2010

JAPAN

5. 24-3-2006

baby marty!!!

life in jakarta

2010-09-05T11:24:00.001-07:00

so i'm 20 and still living from my parent's money. makes me feel like 14. makes me feel like i'm stuck in place and not growing up. when will i learn to be responsible, geezes. so thank god i have a job. and thank god that it is a pretty high paying one. i've been asking around and i couldn't find a part time job that pays more. i mean, tutoring does pay more than waiting tables or brewing coffee or something. i'm not trying to show off, i'm trying to be frank and prove a point.

and with the monthly pay i have now, if i try to move out and live on my own, half the money goes to rent, and the other half for food. then what about transportation and other stuff. i'll never survive ever. so this sucks. it really does. no wonder why indos are such spoiled brats. they rely on their parents until they get married, even AFTER they get married. i remember having a relative who moved to america and got a job waiting tables. she was 21 that time and that was her first job. when she applied, her boss was all, "THIS is your first job? oh you spoiled girl." and here, let alone trying to get a part time job. wasting your parents money seems first priority. but you can't really blame anyone cause that's the only way to live. getting a job just doesn't pay enough.

semester 5

2010-09-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

semester 5 baru dimulai seminggu tp gw sumpah gw udah ga ngetri lg. kadang gw ngerasa UI salah bgt eh dulu nerima gw. tmn2 gw semuanya pinter2 dan pinternya tu yg pinter2 bgt yg pd bisa dpt IP 3,5 keatas trus biarpun mereka jg blg susah tp kayanya survive2 aja. gw dari sd jg ga pernah pinter, ga pernah ranking ga pernah gmn2 amat. gw pgnnnn bgt bisa dpt nilai2 bgs kadang gw udah usaha tp kok kayanya masih gt2 aja, masih bego2 jg. ya mungkin blm maksimal si, ya emg blm maksimal si tp gw bingung aja hrs gmn lg. udah brp semester terakhir ini gw ngerasa paling bego di kelas dan emg bnran paling bego di kelas gw rasa. pgn bgt IP naek, tp kok kayanya mandek segitu2 aja. pgn bgt kuliah ttp 4 thn dan alhamdullilah itu masih bs dipertahankan si tp gw ga tau smp brp lama lg bertahannya. tp klo gw lg niat gt, gw ngerasa gw ga dihargain2 amat. wkt liburan akhir2 gw mulai byk belajar, gw beli buku cina trus gw belajar ngertiin. trus gw baca textbook yg selama ini kita pake, gw pelajarin bab2 yg belom dibahas jd insya allah gw dpt head start. taunya ganti buku. dan buku yg baru berpuluh2 kali lebih susah. trus wkt itu dalam sehari dapet tugas byk bgt semua dikumpulin besok. gw ngerjain semuanya sampe GA TIDUR taunya gw doang yg udah nyelesein smp selese dan akhirnya dosennya blg ga jd dikumpulin hari itu.

kadang gw ga tau hrs belajar kaya gmn lg. mau gw belajar smp kaya gmn jg tmn2 gw ttp lebih jago, ttp lebih pinter. ini feeling gw doang si tp kadang gw ngerasa dosen tu jg ngeremehin gw. kadang klo di kelas gw lg pgn aktif trus gw ngejawab pertanyaan dosen salah2 jg pertanyaan gw, ya karena emg dasarnya udah bego. ada orang yg klo dikelilingin orang2 pinter tru malah terpicu gt, malah pgn bljr. ya gw jg si, tp dikit, gw banyakan jipernya. banyakan ngerasa gw kok kayanya salah tpt bgt.

ya gw ga tau deh tp gw mudah2an bisa fine2 aja ngelewatin smstr 5, pelajaran lulus semua. trus klo bisa IP naek biarpun cuma 0.0sekian persen

korean friends

2010-08-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

this post is really unimportant so i suggest you skip in haha.

amidst this korean madness, i can't help but reminisce about the koreans back in australia. just like the international schools here, we asians just don't fit to well with the americans, the australians the european. they're nice, but when it comes to school and playtimes, we just can't get along that much.

most of my friends are asian, but more than half of them are koreans. there are sooo many koreans in australia haha. my first korean friend was called kwang nam. he's this fat boy with an extreme hairdo at such a young age. he's even dyed his hair haha. i remember him making a joke that when you meditate with that buddha pose, you right hand signals the sign god and your left hand signals 'give me some money'. haha. kwang nam also thought me how to say anyong hashimnika (correct me if i'm wrong) which i think means good morning. for some reason, me and kwang nam use hang out in the same area so he is the person i meet the most outside of school. i also know his mother which was this really nice korean lady and when i meet her i would say anyong hashimnika.

my second korean friend is probably one of my best friends back in australia. it was this girl named jenny. her korean name was eunjang. jenny was really really nice and we played a lot. she lives in this beautiful house near school. There was 2 things i could remember about her, her birthday which was celebrated at her house after school. her mum cooked really really yummy korean food. i mean, they were REALLY good. i remember one of my bule friends didn't really like the korean food and made some comments about them and jenny was like "you shouldn't say that :(" and i was like "how could you not like these they're so delicious. on my last day of school, jenny came to my class (we weren't in the same class) and gave me a farewell present. i think that was the sweetest. it was a pack of bunny shaped korean made erasers where you can mix and match the bunny's clothes.

well, actually they were so many koreans and when we were playing a game such as dodge ball they would be in one team and speak korean and we'd have NO idea what they're saying and they'll end up winning. haha

sometimes i wonder if they still remember me. i tried looking up in facebook but i don't think facebook is that 'in' in korea. sometimes i wish that one of them ended up as k-pop stars and i'll recognize them immediately haha.

i once remember looking through Dolly mag, the aussie magazine, and they were giving out hunk posters like they always do and there was my friend who really was hot since he was 10. to bad i didn't keep the magazine. it would be nice if that occurred to the koreans as well. lol

trying to cram 3 months in a blog post

2010-08-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

so in a few days, college is going to start again. before i come face to face with the oh so annoying assignments and homeworks and whatever, i'd like to recap this wonderful 3 months i've spent.

i remember the first day of the holiday and i was bored as hell. i was like, it's only the first day, what am i going to do with the rest of the holiday? well thank god i get to tutor my students everyday so i always had something to do. and my friends are also having their holiday so we spent a lot of time together too.

then came to time to flee to japan!!!

oh god, i am sooo out of words if i have to explain japan. maybe i'll end up writing about japan for this entire post haha. japan is a country beyond words. i don't know how a country that small could hold so much awesomeness. everything is sooo unique and so japanese-like. it's like they have a way of doing things which is different from the world. their public toilets could have up to 17 buttons for washing your as* to making tinkling sounds and making the seat warm. they also the the nicest supermarkets and beautiful2 everything. god, i am lost for words.

my favorite place was harajuku. it's soooo unique and there's this store where they sell collectibles of toy story, south park and the simpsons and i didn't want to go out and i chucked things to my basket without thinking.

my second favorite place was ginza, the new york times square of tokyo. it was sooo huge and lights and lights and buildings. there's this 5 story apple store which was totally crowded and had a glass elevator. all the clothes store in japan are also really big. forever 21, h&m, uniqlo and a lot of other known brands have their own building that could go up to 5 stories. yeah, like the apple store.

then there's the food. oh the food. while i was there, i ate japanese food all the time. we did ate chinese, but only once. even though i ate japanese food everyday, i didn't get bored at all. there was always something new, something nice, something unique.

they also love their culture so much, there's this really long street where they sell stuff such as kimonos, fans, chopsticks and all japanese stuff and they are all so tempting. their temple of more than 1000 years old are also still preserved really well. they even use ultraviolet sterilizers to clean the glasses we use to take water from the spring.

then comes the anime. oh god, anime. once you're in, you're in deep. i went to this store in osaka where they sell nothing but naruto and one piece stuff and i went crazy i didn't want to leave. i just didn't. i can't decide what to buy, what not to buy. they were just soooo tempting.

one more thing about japan, the theme parks are soooo wicked. the technology they use for theme parks is way beyond america. so you can only imagine how sick that is.

then it was back to jakarta.

after seeing japan and all, i thought i'd give one piece another try.i use to read it, but i stopped cause of college and stuff. well this second go of reading, it went more than well. i fell in love with luffy and the straw hat crew quicker than you can say "pirate king". they are all so amazing, all of them. but my favorite just happens to be robin. she is cool beyond repair. i could stay home for a whole day and not go anywhere cause i wanted to continue with the story. i cried at some part and laughed hysterically at others. that, until one manga got erased.

then came super junior

well actually, i've been watching super junior since the start of the holiday. but with japan and one piece, it kinda got paused. so i continued watching all i want before college starts again. i can't find the words good enough to explain how much those 13 guys have made me overly happy this holiday. how i cracked up laughing my ass off till really late everyday just watching their variety shows. how i watched their videos like it was some sort of...... i don't even know what to compare them with. it was really entertaining, really funny, really educating. also like one piece, there were also some sad parts which made me cry :(

so well, there was my boring post. i guess my holiday mainly consists of those 3 wonderful gifts god gave me and oh were they entertaining. if you've been wondering where my boyfriend fits in the picture, well he's pretty much there almost everyday to share with me my one piece craziness and all sorts of other craziness. haha

YouTube - Super Junior Intimate Note ep25 part 4 (ENG SUBS)

2010-08-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

YouTube - Super Junior Intimate Note ep25 part 4 (ENG SUBS)

don't have to watch the whole episode. just watch this part. it cracked me up soooo much. i don't think i've laughed like that in aaaagggeess.

it's the part where they play charades. i use to play charades when i was younger and i totally sucked haha.

btw, videonya ga bisa di embed jd lgsg ke tkp aja ya

kibum!

2010-08-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

sumpah gw udah smp taraf SUKA BGT sama kibum. sukanya tu udah yang suka bgt bangetan smp gw ga tau mau gmn lg. sukanya tu smp gw nontonin semua video yg ada kibumnya di youtube. teriak2 klo dia di filmnya ada adegan cipokannya. gw sukanya tu yg sampe mau gila if i think about the fact that i could never see him and that there are tons of his fans that are like me and seeing them just makes me more desperate cause i'm just one of them as my chances of meeting him shrinks even more. sukanya tu udah smp klo dia kesini kaya kimbum kmrn gw PASTI bakal dtg meskipun itu ga penting dan itu mahal. gw jabanin deh gaji gw ga buat apa2 trus jual bb or apa gt biar gw bisa ketemu. masalahnya dia ga ada nanti di SS3. sukanya tu yg udah suka bgt smp cape tp udah desperate.

geezes i'm 20, kok ga beda gini si kaya wkt masih umur 14. it's like i'm not growing up. but who cares, masalahnya ini kibum. gw udah ga tau lg deh harus ngapain. gw bahkan smp nontonin rainbow romance--which is sampah bgt--cuma buat ngeliatin kibumnya doaaang.

last time i posted pictures now i'll post videos so you people can actually see how hot he is when he's in motion.

sumpah geraaaam bgt gw ntn video pertama

kim kibum

2010-08-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

mungkin orang2 taunya gw di suju sukanya kyuhyun, donghae, eunhyuk, siwon. terserah deh mau dibilang labil apa gmn, tp yg ini bnr2 bnr2 bnr2 ampun ga nahan lucunya sumpah habis kata2. haha. trus kayanya sayang aja klo ga ada satu post di blog gw yg dedicated buat kibum.

sumpah gw gemessss garrrrhhhhggg hharrrgghh. haha ok ok control2.

anyway, kibum speaks pretty good english cause he used to live in LA. as for me, english in a guy is MANDATORY. doesn't have to be superb, but a little bit will do fine. klo ga, mau ngomong pake bahasa apa gw sama kibum? haha

ps: va, ini yg lo blg lucu di sorry2

apologies

2010-08-16T09:49:00.001-07:00

sorry if my last post was too harsh or anything. just saying what i'm feeling.

lebaran sebentar lagi!

2010-08-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

oh god i love religious holidays such as lebaran and christmas!

so in this post, i'd like to share a little something that's actually very personal in my relationship with iman.

things are going great and all. we're 20 but we're having fun as if we're 14 and stupid. but there's this one thing i always try to avoid cause if we talk about it, we'll ALWAYS end up fighting. and i mean, ALWAYS.

iman, though he doesn't show it much, is pretty religious. religious as in he prays, he fasts he does things a muslim's supposed to do. on the other side, there's me. i believe that everything i do is prayer. the good things, the bad things. the oh so sinful things and everything, they're all prayers. at least to me they are. i mean i just can't accept the fact that god himself asks us to pray to him in a certain way and in certain times exactly the way he tells us to. that or eternal damnation. i mean, come on.

a lot of people say that god is the all seeing eye. he watches your every move and he knows everything about you. so if he's on the watch 24/7 so why do you pray only on those certain times in a language we don't even understand. that's just never going to make sense to me.

i believe that everything i do, is a learning process to find my purpose and to be a better person and that's how god wants it to be. at least that's what i believe.

ok, not this. i am not, i repeat, i am NOT saying that the religious system is wrong. no not at all.i'm only saying that it is just not for me.

maybe some people feels more comfortable if they have something to lean on constantly, some rules to follow, something to hold on to. well, that just doesn't work for me. i believe that god won't punish us just for eating pork and coming to contact with a dog which i think god created to be man's best friend in the first place. i just think that he's telling us to use our free will and to know ourselves what is right and what is wrong.

ok, so here's the catch. say that you are religionless. now write down a list of the things you know that is bad. for sure you'd know that killing is wrong and you would never do it. you'd also know that stealing is wrong, hurting other people is wrong. also for the good things, you'll know that helping others is nice, spreading love is nice, TOLERANCE is nice and everything else.

a human being is born with brains and they are capable of knowing what is right and what is wrong.

ok, now imagine yourself being in a religion. this religion tells you EVERYTHING you need to do and not to do. it tells you that your religion is the most perfect of all. it tells you that it's ok to hurt people if they are against you're religion cause it's called defending. it also tells you that it's wrong to drink alcohol and that it's ok to have 4 wives and all, it also tells you that no matter what you do wrong all you have to do is pray and then you're forgiven. let alone apologize and trying to change and realize you're mistakes. let alone toleration. they're against you? bakar!

what happens is, the person ends up relying too much on the religious system that his sense of mind gets really numb and he no longer knows what is right and what is wrong cause all is just so confusing. so the person ends up relying 100% on the religion and even applies the bad stuff in real life. making wars after wars after wars after wars.

when i was in my religion class last year, someone asks the teacher. "when you're in the rakaat terakhir and praying that last part of the prayer where you're fingers have to be pointed, are you supposed to move you're fingers around or let them stay still?"

it's like there is a rule for EVERYTHING you can't decide anything on your own anymore. you have to know the rule exactly the way it is so you don't do anything wrong and you can't even tell for yourselves what's right and what's wrong.

and then another absurd question "eh sbnrnya kepiting tu haram ga si?"

OH COME ON you're not going to burn in hell just for eating kepiting.

those people, they RELY ON THEIR RELIGION that they don't realize how stupid they sound.

seriously, can't you even tell for yourself that eating kepiting is not at all wrong unless you are a member of PETA and you are completely against animal being burned and eaten.

do you HAVE to pray on that 5 times a day or else you'll end up on the deepest pits of hell? oh come on, don't you think god knows you better than that?

as much as i love jakarta....

2010-08-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

gw lg pgn bgt bgt bgt bgt keluar jakarta. banget. i can't even explain how much i want to leave this city so much and live in a whole new place. alone. saking desperate, kayanya ngekos di depok will do deh. bnran. problem is, i still have this teaching job of mine.

don't get me wrong, i love the city, every bit of it. down to the traffic jam and the noisiness and the buildings and everything. but i want to live aloneee. i really really really really want to live alone. i know some people who just graduated from highschool (2 years younger than i am) and already living alone di kosan. and i feel like i've been stuck in my for years and will still be stuck for the upcoming years.

ok so i'm graduating in 2 years(AMIN). i don't know wether i should continue with post-grad or get a decent paying job somewhere so i could rent my own apartment and live alone and stuff.

it's times like these dimana gw mikir, gimana ya klo dulu gw jadi ke australi. that'd be great. i mean really great.

to make a long story short, i only have 2 choices, ngekos di depok. or ikut beasiswa ke cina. i can't ngekos cause i can't leave my students, i just can't. and beasiswa ke cina, i can't hide the fact that i still have a boyfriend. ya masa gw tinggal setaun. i know nothing is supposed to stop me since i'm young, tp ninggal tau2 diri jg lah. lagian ya gw kaya baru bisa ikut gt2an taun dpn gt.

sumpah bnr2 pgn bgt keluar jakarta

i just love this verse

2010-08-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

we're not teenagers, but we're not quite adults. at times we're being chastised by our parents for not calling; at others, we're starting internships at companies we might want to work for someday, in our real adult lives. My advice: instead of worrying about who you were or what you'll become, try to just enjoy the moment.

-gossip girl

travel

2010-08-03T11:47:00.000-07:00

it all started when i was watching breakfast at tiffany's (nice movie btw) and audrey hepburn started singing moon river. when she got to the part where the song goes "2 drifters, off to see the world" i suddenly realized, how nice it would be if i could really travel the world. but then i thought, why would i want to see the world if i haven't even been around my own country much. i don't know, but it just doesn't make sense. it's like you've been all around town but you've never even visited your backyard. it's sounds all wrong.

actually, ever since i was little, i've always wanted to travel across indonesia. not just travel, but really go into the rainforest and dive in the ocean and stuff like that. i remember how i use to love watching jejak petualang and how i wanted to be just like that when i grow up, but hey, how many of us clung on to our childhood dreams. it eventually gets forgotten.

so now i'm twenty, and wanting to live the dream more than anything, really. so maybe i want to so 'muluk', i'll probably just visit other cities and enjoy what i can enjoy there. i mean, i AM indonesian and i've only been to jakarta, bandung, bali, lombok, jogja, solo. ok so maybe that's better than none but really, out of the 18000 islands in indonesia i've only been to 3. seriously.

i want to know what semarang, surabaya, padang, medan, ambon, manado, looks like. later on it would be nice if i could visit sumba and other wonderful places.

last january i went to bali with my dad and i met my dad's business partner who was hawaiian. he said that there's this american couple who made a cottage in the island of sumba and the money they get actually goes to sumba. so far, they have made a few hospitals and a bunch of schools.

i was so awestruck upon hearing that, i mean, it's not even their country and they're being sooo nice to us and here we are not caring shit about the sake of our country and just standing there doing pretty much nothing and claim that they are nationalist. probably the biggest favor we've ever done is wear t-shirts resembling our love for our country but pretty much 0 action.

if you happen to be a true nationalist who reads this posts, please don't get offended, i know a lot of people are doing a great job in making things work and i salute you but you gotta admit that there are more people who well, just don't do much or even nothing aka me. trust me i'm not proud of this AT ALL.

i've made a pact ever since junior high to later work in indonesia under any circumstances and continue living here no matter how delicious other countries seem. indonesia has giving me SO MUCH MORE than a place to live and i'm not going to just abandon it. the least i can do is give something back, in any way. even if i ever work outside indonesia, it's for the sake of my country.

happy 20th :)

2010-07-25T12:19:00.000-07:00

so the guy i've spent my life with for the last 1 year and 3 months just celebrated his birthday 2 days ago. yeah this post is a little late but better late than never. as a little gift, i'm going to dedicate this post to him.

first thing, me and iman is not a pair of dream couple and we're not exactly the couple that makes other people jealous. to be honest, he is the exact opposite of EVERYTHING i want in a guy (except for the fact that he's left handed, cause i just love that in guys). i don't even know what made me fell for him in the first time, but something just sparked.

in the past year, we fight way way more than the normal dose. we argue about the littlest thing, about the biggest of things and shit and we broke up and make up constantly.we also went to a bunch of things i never even dreamed would have to experience.

we hook up when we were both 18 and now we're both 20. this is the turning point of our lives. of everybody's life actually. the age where you learn about how to face life and the time you actually grow up and matures. i always thought i could do it alone, but boy was i wrong.

iman has thought me more than anything i could ever imagine. he doesn't really teach me actually, but he made me realize, made me open my eyes to the things that were always there but i never knew existed. he made me realize things that i am now more grateful than ever to have realize and i could never have imagined how my life would've turned out if he was never there to begin with.

it's like, when you're going through tough times, you pick a buddy. pick a friend. pick someone that you can actually trust. i'm lucky enough to actually have someone to be my 'growing up buddy'. i knew i could never ever asked for anyone better.

i love how i would rant on about some stuff that i'm going through and how i would just complain complain complain. but with just one or two sentences, he could pretty much changed everything. i don't know how you do it, but you're plain awesome.

cheers, may we still be together for the years to come

unfortunately, all good things do come to an end

2010-07-19T10:57:00.000-07:00

so my holiday's been great and i just got back from japan and all and i thought about posting pictures and stories but i really am not in the mood.

it's been a year and 3 months since me and my current boyfriend started seeing each other. in that 1 year and 3 months we break-up and make-up continuously until it sickens each other and everyone around us. but weird thing is, after all those fights, all those nonsense arguments, you end up really knowing a person and really learn to appreciate them. lately things have been amazing, and we didn't just get to this point just like that, we fought for it, we strive for it, bottom line is, we earned it.

some of you reading this may know that our relationship has never really been that serious. i mean, we're more of the right now couple. never have any plans to go any further.

but then earlier today i was jokingly saying if we'll still be together for the next world cup and he said something in the lines of, "of course not, that's ages from now."

well i know this is truer than true, neither of us plans to spend the rest of our lives with each other. but really, this gets me thinking.

if you've been to hell and back with a person, you'll really feel that you have a connection with them. i dare say that now, i'm most comfortable with him than anyone else i can thing of. i can't see myself with another person. for now, that just seems all wrong.

right now, i'm just dead scared that we'll both come to that point where we come to think, 'if this is going nowhere, then why am i still here? why fight for something we know will never last?'

but at the same time, i still want to be together.

oh goodness gracious, now i'm confused.

hitting the big 20

2010-06-26T23:13:00.000-07:00

god, i don't even know where to start. but look at me, i just started with the word god so that must be a good sign haha.

ok, so i just had my 20th birthday. it was really nice and i really can't not smile everytime i see the picture of me and donghae kyuhyun that ajeng gave me hahahah. but turning 20 got me thinking. well, actually, it wasn't turning 20 that got me thinking.

to make a long story short, aka to save myself from rambling; i'm scared of growing up. really i am. really really bad. i even googled up fear of growing up and thank god it's good to know i'm not alone.

maybe it's not what i'll have to face that's scaring me, but more of what i'll have to leave. i've had such an amazing youth and i can't bare to think that that's going to stop in in a few years. it tortures me to see newly graduated high school students. i can't believe that that was 2 years ago for me. i remember being really really happy. i mean, i've just finished high school, looking forward to uni, and just got the guy of my dreams haha. it really couldn't get any better. even if a million dollars fell out of the sky in my front yard, i still wouldn't be happier than i was then. and here i am, two years into uni, no longer excited. the only thing in my mind is get good grades and graduate in 2012, no more.

second, i honestly really really like competing in english competitions. i've competed in primary school, junior high, high school and also uni. i want more! seriously, i do! i love winning haha and i love the thrill of doing it and i really really can't wait for binus' next english competition cause i've never joined a scrabble competition before and i think i'm more that ready for that. then i realized, your time's almost up. once you graduated college, you'll be much to old for those kinds of competition. i can't join anything anymore. furthermore, anything such as organizations and pageants will have a maximum age and time's running out. i have never ever thought of joining pageants before, but with this fear of growing up and the ticking time bomb towards actual responsibility, i'm starting to think i'm going to do everything that has an age limit, just for the fun of it.

then comes marriage. oh goodness marriage. my friends are getting married one by one right before me and to be honest it's scaring me shitless. it's making realize even more that i already am entering the age where it is time for something such as marriage. i use to be so young and those people that are getting marriage are way older than me and now here i am as old as them. oh god oh god oh god.

this is so effin' killing me bit by bit.

but here's what i told myself; nobody's forcing you to do everything fast and flawless. take your time. don't grow up of you're not ready. just don't. take all the time you want, you will be ready eventually. a lot of things can change in 2 years. do all the teenagery stuff you want to do if that makes you feel better. and nobody's telling you to not make mistakes. make them. or else you won't learn. don't make fatal ones that'll affect your future or something like that. make silly little ones that you can laugh off one day.

all in all. don't act your age, act like the age of your soul. haha

libur sampe september

2010-06-03T08:43:00.001-07:00

as some of you may know, or remember, last year i got an internship at makki makki branding consultant. i worked at an office from 8 am till late from monday to sunday. just like having a real job. i did that for 2 months so i only get to spend the last month of my holiday. this holiday, i planned that i didn't want to work at an office again. it's so tiring and blah. I didn't even want to look for a job, i thought i'd just add another student so that i'll spend my holiday teaching 3 students.

so here i am on the second week of my holiday. to make a long story short, i now only teach 2 student. i got another offer today to teach another student every day from monday to thursday which would actually be really great, but i turned it down. malesssss bgt. jangankan nambah, just dealing with these 2 aja gw sbnrnya agak, nyeaaaahhh males. seriously what is wrong with me??? mau jd apa gw kalo males2 gini terus.

but the thing is, to be really really extremely honest, i don't feel that guilty. i mean, my holiday just started and i'm having so much fun. emg gitu2 doang but it's fun enough. so far gw baru ngerasa kebosenan satu hari doang pas hari pertama. anyway, i already had an internship last year so it's ok if i don't go again this year. i want to cut myself some slack.

anyway, i'm getting a microwave for my birthday! sooooo happy! finally, after years of waiting.

friday, 28th may 2010

2010-05-27T11:34:00.001-07:00

we're on a break-up make-up stance so if you ask, i wouldn't know if i should say we've gotten back together or not. but anyway

what i loathe about you:

-you get emotional and ever so effing easily

-you yell back when i yell at you

-you take AGES to pick where we should eat even though we're both starving

-you ketiduran so often

-you like burger king so much, seriously, what's to like about it

-when i'm bitching about some other person, you stay neutral, you never take my side

-you're never ready to meet my family

-you blame me for not contacting you all day padahal it's your phone that's gone berserk

-i hate how you're always saying 'yang beliin dong beliin dong' even though you're only joking, it's annoying

-i hate how your words contradict your actions

what i really like about you:

-you would do absolutely anything possible for me and my happiness

-you teach me stuff

-you drag me to burger king so often i end up loving burger king

-you would drive through all those traffic jam just for me, even though i keep saying you really shouldn't

-i love the nickname you give me

-i love how we would just laugh and laugh and laugh

-i love how you always try to understand me though sometimes you end up failing haha

-i love how you made me realize so many things i never would've realized without you

-i love how you usually don't want to go to the restaurants i pick but end up liking them anyway

-i love how you're left handed

-i will never trade your abs for anyone elses

-i love how you kiss me on the cheek out of nowhere

-i love how you laugh hysterically at my stupidity

-i love how your words contradict your actions

most importantly, i LOVE how you forgive me for every single thing that i have done to you. readers, trust me, the things i do aren't pretty.

i promise i won't repeat my mistakes again <3

just some random facts

2010-05-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

since it's the holidays and there's no way i'm sleeping at this hour (12.36am) i'm going to post some randomness.

-i don't like reading magazines. i just don't. i've tried, but it just doesn't work for me. i honestly, don't remember the last magazine i bought. i use to buy teen vogue and nylon and stuff but it just doesn't work with me. if i were in some waiting room or something, i would pick out--if i had the choice, some health magazines such as fit and shape

-speaking of fit and shape, ever since i got got obsessed in having a hard-rockin' body, a day never goes by without me doing my usual late night crunches. i don't know how much it's working and deep down i know i should just kiss the celebrity body of my dreams goodbye but if feels good to at least keep trying

-writing a book is much harder than i thought

-i don't wear make ups. i just can't. sure i want to, i mean i have an eyeliner and a mascara but let alone those two, i don't even know how to put on powder. no lie. i ended up giving my compact powder to my cousin who will take good use of it.

-i don't like going to the hairdressers. i only go for haircuts and hairdos on wedding days. i've only had 1 cream bath in my life and i honestly didn't like it. i want to have long hair but who am i kidding, my hair is hideous. i don't know anyone else with as much split ends as i do. hair falls to. even in this condition, i still won't drag my ass to the hairdressers to get a treatment or such.

-i quit drinking. i'm not even tempted if all around me drinks and i get free alcohol shoved under my nose. god knows why. but seriously, i no longer see how anyone can actually have fun at a bar.

-i drive but i suck at it, and i don't know how long i will keep sucking at it

-i don't think johnny depp's all that good looking

-i'd love to wear high heels but they hurt more than anything. seriously. i don't think i can EVER bear them, let alone being able to pull them off.

-i get A LOT of these from my guy friends: 'id, liat deh. (shows me the pic) gw lg ngedeketin dia ni, gmn menurut lo?'

menurut gw? THEY ALL LOOK THE SAMEEEEEE.

well of course i never say that out loud, but no matter which guy friend it is, it's all the same stereotypical type of girl. seriously guys, SERIOUSLY.

-i personally think that just because a person has fair skin, gorgeous long hair and can pull off any type of i-can-never-catch-up-with clothing, doesn't mean she's pretty. the term 'pretty' or beautiful or gorgeous or whatever you name it, is so media-driven now.

as usual, i suck at making titles

2010-05-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

last year i make tons of posts regarding on my beliefs and stuff. well, im clinging to it really tightly and i have never been more comfortable. the problem is, it sort of sometimes annoys me when people tell me to pray and to tobat or anything of that sort. i mean, can't people put tolerance above religion? seriously. i'm not saying i'm right. nobody knows who's right. seriously. it also gets really weird when people tells me i really should start praying for the sake of doomsday, or underworld or how you call it akhirat. it's just weird and all wrong, well at least to me that is. i personally think that if in the end we really do get judged by what we do in our lives, it's going to be judged on how far you make it. how you make the best of life by making every second worth living and on how you don't go around doing stuff you know is wrong. i personally don't believe in the term of god and satan. i think all this is god's doing. god himself created evil in order for us to learn goodness. god sends us problems to make us stronger not to put us in misery. so i also think it's weird when i'm going through a problem and people tells me to pray. god and none other is the one who sent that exact problem for you to solve it, for a reason beyond our knowledge, so why ask him to take it away from you again?

all in all, i want to make a life worth living.

:'(

2010-05-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

all good things come to an end. like it or not, we both have to deal with this. i really wish i could reminisce and but old pictures of us in this post but i'll probably just end up crying my eyeballs out.

:(

2010-05-13T09:15:00.001-07:00

god i hate dealing with break-ups

gym-crazed

2010-05-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

ok, since i've been watching how i met your mother i and getting soooo jealous at cobie smulders voluptuous body, i decided i want a great body soooo bad. i know it's only in my dreams, and well everybody else's dream to look like a celebrity, but i thought i'd give it a try. i now make sure i go to the gym at least once a week. i know, i know, what am i supposed to be getting if i only go once a week? but it's just sooooo hard to find time and it's the holidays are starting in two weeks anyway. hopefully i can go every day in that 3 month of nothingness. i also got myself a personal trainer and i couldn't stop doing crunches and push-ups at home. i wish i can do them right now. oh and, i also go swimming everyday now.

oh and one thing, i LOVE eating. earlier today i told iman after sushi, maqui's rare cheese and tutti frutti yoghurt that it's amazing how food tastes these days. there just seem to be more and more delicious food and it just never stops. i think the world coming to an end cause i don't think culinary could get any better. ok, so my point in telling that is, i don't want to cut back on eating. not now and hopefully not ever. there were times i didn't want to eat meat cause i love vegetables and i thought i could live with just that, but naaah, meat's good.

so i want to have a nice, toned body but i don't want to cut back on food and go on a diet and stuff. i love to eat. so i guess i'm just going to have to drill it ever so crazily by exercising. wish me luck people! oh and, advices are more than welcome.

other stuff i plan to do in the upcoming holiday: at first i wanted to do kickboxing but naaaah, that ain't me. so i'm just going to do some pilates, yoga, and buy a yoga mat.

2 weeks till the holidays

2010-05-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

ok so i didn't continue my last post about how i met your mother. in fact, i always do that don't i? say in my post that i'll continue later but not continue later haha. ok, so i've been seriously addicted major to how i met your mother, tp bener kata baya si, bagusan yang awal2. but anyway, my favorite character in the show is--like i mentioned before-- robin scherbatsky. gooooosssh, seriously, she has my dream job, she's pretty as heck, and she has a really2 nice body. i've seen so many actresses and singers and models and famous people, but none is as pretty as robin. well, to me that is, people always have a different opinion about looks. robin for me is like one of the vampire's from twilight. cantiknya bgt bgtan, haha. and in the first season, dia agak sedikit gendut gt, dikit. in the next seasons she gets skinnier making her look prettier, by season 4, badannya udah toned parah.

she drives me jealous. klo dia bisa dari agak2 gendut jadi toned gt, gw jg harus bisa! ga ada cerita.

anyway, the 3 months long awaited holiday is coming up. seriously i can't wait for it. but i don't want to lie around and do nothing. and i don't think i'm ready to write a book to kill time haha. i want a job. like last year. i don't want that job again, gosh NO. but i'd love something else. i'm thinking of looking, but i like lo lie back and see things unravel before my eyes. last year, in the first week of my holiday the job offer came. and this year, i've already had two job offers. LOVE-LY. i want to see what other offers will come, i just hope i won't be too gabut this holiday. also in my free time, i will go to the gym, wait, no no no. in the holidays, i will go to the gym EVERYDAY cause i want a body like robin soooo bad, and nice abs. i also won't forget to write somewhere along the business.

i hope i don't jinx my holiday by writing this! tootles!

how i met your mother

2010-04-23T22:09:00.000-07:00

even though i'm currently only in the second season of watching how i met your mother, i can't help it, i love the series. sure, nothing beats friends and i don't think anything will ever beat friends, but this is good enough. it tells the life of 5 mid 20s living in new york. my favorite character is Robin Scherbatsky cause she is just sooooooooo gorgeous plus and amazing body and she works as a news reporter for metro news one--something i've always wanted. robin's boyfriend is ted who works as an architect. they remind me so much of my parents. my mum was a news reporter for metro news and my dad is still an architect.

and barney, the womanizer, gosh he is just so woooaaahhh. ok, gotta go teach now, will continue this post later.

supercharge

2010-04-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

lately my grades are friggin' flunking, i have no effing mood to effing to all those ass-ignments and shit. seriously. it's been so long since i went on a dvd marathon, found a good book to read and have one hell of a time with my boyfriend, owh and most importantly, found a good game to play on my psp. and that's where i am now.

i've been watching grey's anatomy and how i met your mother non-stop, and i read silence of the lambs whenever i get the chance to then i do tons of new stuff with my boyfriend cause our relationship's graphic sort of sped up after our first anniversary and i feel like my hands are glued to my psp from playing burnout. and as much as i LOVE my job as a private tutor, it's been a blast cause they've cancelled 3 times in a row just for birthdays haha.

god, i really am enjoying my life haha.

but then, comes the assignments, comes the classes, comes the stupid2 wenzhangs. rata2 wenzhang2 gw masi 57 td gw itung, i don't even feel like touching my history assignment even though that's an uts take home and i feel like skipping sign language class tomorrow cause for the first time, they're giving us homeworks.

goodness gracious what am i to do now?

i really want to write a LOT cause ideas are really shooting out of my head but really, you wouldn't want to listen and it'd probably be best if i start my ass-ignment now.

trainspotted

2010-03-05T08:04:00.000-08:00

you know how people say don't wish for easier tasks, but wish to be a stronger person. for me, i wish i was weaker, cause god will never give me tasks beyond my ability. if i was weaker, i wouldn't be put in so much hell of a test.

ok, that's not a good example. i know i'm not suppose to think that way but sometimes i can't help it.

the reason i think that way is because when i see my friends, they would probably crumble and give up if they were in my position. no, this time i'm not talking about any relationship problem at all, it's something else. but then again, i know that's just the self-centered me talking. i know very well that everybody has different points of strength and weaknesses. so i would probably crumble too if i were in their position.

still in copeland, coping

2010-03-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

i wanted you to be happy and i wanted this to happen. even if i never wanted this to happen it will come sooner or later and i shouldn't act all mooshy and and mope around and stuff cause this really sucks but it really is hard. worst of all, my boyfriend has every right to be pissed off at me at the moment but he isn't. he just isn't. which leads me to even more guilt.

shock therapy bnr2 ni

2010-03-04T08:28:00.000-08:00

i wanted to write about my life, my opinions again, my campus life, my new job and stuff. but here i am once again being a hopeless romantic and freaking out all over again over some stupid guy.

i know this is complete crap and none of you may not want to care and some might say i really shouldn't be writing any of this, i can't help it. i want to. and this is much better than me wailing off to my friends live and torturing them by hearing me moan over some guy which i claim to be over with by now.

it's not easy to know that someone who you once cared for really much for has found someone else, has moved on and that you are now just a history. the worst part is imagining the things he use to do to you, or with you, he now does it to the new partner.

this is supposed to be more fair than ever, but it's soooo hard to accept. i'm now here cracking up all by myself and soon i'll probably ruin my laptop's trackpad cause i've been sobbing over it for quiet some time now.

i couldn't help feeling like a jerk cause this is sooooo unfair to my current boyfriend. sure our relationship is on edge lately and the switch just keeps going on and off continuously. the switch to my feelings and our relationship. i just HATE the fact that i never have found the off button for the previous guy i'm wailing about. it's like, it has a rotating switch instead of an on-and off thing. so all i can do is turn in slightly so that it's almost off, but it's fucking jammed so i can't turn it all the way to the friggin' off.

ok, enough with the switch metaphors. see, i'm writing again. i miss writing. only he can make me write like this. only he can friggin' motivate me to write. my current one somehow doesn't have the power to do so.

god i feel soooo guilty. i wanted to forget all that's in the past, all of it. every stupid second of it. come on it's been YEARSSSSSSS. and yes i am happy with mr. right now but still still still... i had no idea it would feel like this.

it's true he was the one who left me. a thing which he said he regretted, and when i found someone new and didn't say a word to him, it must've felt this shitty. so yeah all's fair.

ok, i think i'm going to stop here. i'm rambling and i'm spilling my personal life too much which isn't a very wise choice. but have a happy life you too. god bless you, like literally, since you praise the same god and all. and yeah, what a way to put more cheerleaders in my life. making me feel like i'm living some crap teenage drama and all.

god i miss this comfort zone of mine

2010-03-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

will update soon! my life feels all wrong without writing. i had no idea where my passion went these past few months :(

new job!

2010-01-16T10:33:00.000-08:00

ok, so i have neglected my blog for so long. i am soooo sorry. yeah well then again who am i sorry to, nobody's reading it anymore. haha.

the only reason i'm posting again is because i got a new job and it's just superb. i loveeee the job, so far. let's just see how long i will stand it till i come home wailing like i did in my previous job haha.

well i never really loved my previous job. the one where i worked in a branding consultant office as an assistant business development. but this time, it's much nicer.

so what exactly is my job? the one i claim to love so much.

before i tell you that, i have to tell you this story.

so me and my friend from chinese studies, dewi, wanted to watch the fesbud parade. we figured the best spot to do so is in the fisip bus stop. as we were waiting for the parade to pass, dewi spotted a job opening poster on the notice wall. it's an opening to be a private teacher for international school students. i was pretty interested cause it's not just normal students, but international school students. and not just any national + schools, but i get to teach real foreigners.

to make a long story short, i got the job. and my first--and so far my only student yet-- is a 10 year old indian girl named nikita. she goes to JIS, btw.

she's indian, but unlike what i expected, she has really fair skin. and nikita, her mum and her sister are all really gorgeous. their house is really close to mine and it's friggin HUGE. HUGEEEEE i tell you! i have never seen a house soooo grand in my life. i watched teen cribs on mtv earlier today and i daresay the houses in MTV are NOTHING compared to nikita's house. NOTHING.

so nikita's really fun to be with and she's really talkative. she's just so fun and full of energy and she seems to spread all the happiness to me. she said that she was surprised to have a teacher like me. indonesian, but speaks in an australian accent.

i realized i used to have an australian accent cause that's where i learned english. but i thought it has gone of years ago since i know cram my head with american movies and tv programs. but after what nikita said. i realized that i still do have the australian accent. it's nice and i'd really like to keep it for as long as possible.

like most kids, nikita's has MAJOR trouble concentrating. so the only way i can get her to work is if i promised her something after she has finished all her work. like last time, i said i promised i'll show her how to change the LED colour in her blackberry. and give her some themes. she also says i'm the only teacher who knows how to work a bb. the others are completely clueless.

nikita's mum has been asking for extra hours and extra days, i'd really like to say yes cause i really am having soooo much fun.

well, that's it i guess. from what i wrote, am i doing things right? does anyone want to share some tips on teaching? comment please. thank you!

zhengzai ting che the ting tings

2009-10-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

hey peeps, this post is going to be about me and me alone. so no more religion talk for a while and all that usual stuff i go around rambling about.

soooo, i decided to join the taekwondo team in my faculty. i kind of miss it, i mean, it's been like 5 years since my last practice. i tried everything at campus and i failed miserably at each and every one of it. EDS, liga tari, futsal. i thought, seriously, dari segini banyak wadah buat menampung minta dan bakat di ui, gw ga ada yg masuk gt? ya well the only wadah i want to join is like this community where everyone can speak up about their beliefs--out of those 5 major religion in indonesia-- and bring religious fairness to the campus. i mean, the campus should also have a church and a temple, not just a mosque. and when we're separated to join those religious mentorings, there should be one for those who has a belief out of those 5. ANYWAAAAAAYYY, i thought i said no religion talks. haha. well, i guess that's pretty much stuck with me.

so i decided i wanted to join taekwondo. not the UI one, but just the FIB one. what made me quit those 3 earlier activities i joined was because everyone else was already sooooo good at it cause they've been doing it since high school and i just started. that made me feel paling bego and pretty jiper. taekwondo here, is a different story. i've alraedy got up to kuning strip and the others are still white, so yeah, gw agak lebih bisa sedikit dr yg laen. i got a head start, all's fair is fair.

in my second practice my tutor--in this case it's called sabeum--told me that i should compete in olimpiade ui aka asteroid. eeerr, i thought he was kidding but he said i really had the potential and so and so. hmmmm i have to admit i'm more scared than happy. ok, so i may know the basics to kicking, but my fighting techniques are hmmmm, i don't know. i mean i really don't know. i haven't fought in like 5 years. and when they fight they kick with all their might so i'm kind of scared i might fall to pieces and stuff.

well, my point in writing this is, join something you're good at. seriously. this really really brings out your self-esteem. my grades are flunking like effing crazy this semester. and everyone else in my class is waaaaay smarter and me, well maybe not smarter but friggin rajin. heran gw, kapan gw bisa kaya gitu. so i decided to join something where i have an ability a bit above others. that really does makes you feel good, seriously. doesn't make you feel bele2 amat in life for not being able to do one thing.

thk u for tuning peeps!

:p

2009-10-19T06:19:00.000-07:00

so the i was sitting on my so-called throne with all my so-called jewels and fancy clothes

when all of a sudden you came

you took me by the hand and guided me of my throne ever so carefully,

afraid that i might trip anytime cause of my pointy glass slipper

i didn't know where we were going and i wanted to say no

i wanted to let go more than anything and get back up to my comfort zone

this is all to weird, i can't take another second

but at the same time, i couldn't find the heart to let go of your hand

i've never felt such, such... touch

so i cling on tighter

this is getting better

i looked back

i can hardly see my throne anymore

i can't believe we've walked this far

and these, these pearls and diamonds are seriously disturbing

they feel so heavy around my neck

i can't believe i've never realized how annoying they were

neither could i stand the clickity clack of my glass slipper

i can't move my fingers freely cause of all this rings,

let alone the clinging bracelets which are starting to make my wrist ache

wait just a moment please, i pleaded

and for the first time i let go of his hand

and of all those glittery items from my body

what should i do with these? said i, by now confused and realizing all those stuff weighs a ton

keep them, he answered. you'll never know, you might need them again

bingung ngelanjutinnya gmn. hahahaa

confessions on life, death and god

2009-10-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

hey people!

i can't wait to get a hold of this hot stuff

the secrets on life, and god are really great. i've never been interested in death, but the death secrets are ok too.

anyway, really for one of my old 'religious' posts? hehe. well, here goes one.

but before i continue, i'd like to say that i can't promise this to be as good as my old posts. but, well, here goes nothing.

me and vani were sitting as kansas as usual today and the guys sitting at the table next to us were talking really loudly. we never meant to eavesdrop, but we can't help overhearing. haha yeah, cliche. they happen to be having a debate about religion, something not so unusual around FIB actually. so me and vani decided to just shut our pieholes and listen.

so there is this one guy with the theory--which i'm sure a lot of you know--where only muslims get to go to heaven. there's this other guy, who, like many other guys we've known before him, disagree to that statement by saying that he thinks it wouldn't be fair if non-muslims are good but end up in hell anyway.

what, i am not familiar with is, the way this guy seems COMPLETELY offended by the disagreement of his friend. he said, " Nggak bisa! Nggak bisa gt Ga. wah kacau lo, nggak bisa gt sumpah, gw nggak terima. lo, lo, sumpah ya, lo ngatain tuhan gw nggak adil. gw ga terima Ga. kacau bgt lo."

yeah, ok, santai nyet.

then this guy whom we know as "Ga" says, that's what people raised the muslim way in a muslim society would think of. then he goes on and says(in indonesian, of course), "imagine if you were born christian, and raised in a christian way. would you think the same?"

well, that was pretty much the end of it. i forgot how it ended. was it because i decided to stop listening because my brain was already spinning with theories of my own i would like to share, or was it because the second guy was stumped, or because i couldn't stand listening to that absurd guy speak anymore. but i guess, it was all of those reasons combined.

so? what do you guys think about this?

well, again, i have to repeat that i don't really believe in heaven.i mean, it's not that i don't believe it, but, i don't know. i just don't ok. i can't go around believing that only muslims go to heaven.

oooooooowwhhhh i forgot one tiny detail.

when one guy said a non-muslim could also go to heaven from being nice and not evil, the other guy said nice is not enough. he said that the reason for a person to live is to be good AND worship allah. no matter how good a person is, they will still be doomed for not worshipping allah. the muslim allah, not the catholic allah.

well, i think i've posted enough theories in my previous posts. this time, i would actually like to hear from you people.

i've lived with non-muslims all my life. and i daresay they are just normal people who deserves to go to heaven and live their life as fair as any other religion member for that matter.

*see, it's not as good as my old posts :(

:)))))

2009-09-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

i'm glad i came across you.

i'm glad i did that stupid sumpah pemuda orasi even though i was THIS CLOSE to walking away from it. i'm glad i chose to ride the cheap cheap train to campus rather than being a brat and be driven to campus everyday. i'm glad i got into this major and in to FIB. i'm glad i chose that class for my english class.

all those choices are what made me end up meeting you. i wouldn't have ended up with you if i chose i thing differently.

1 tiny choice really do make a difference.

i'm glad i went to bali and spend my time there with me. that was such an experience and i feel soooo lucky to have passed it.

i'm glad i did the things i did with you. i heart you more by the day boyfriend!

happy belated lebaran!

2009-09-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

hey people, sorry for the long hiatus. i don't know, i just don't feel like updating lately. god knows why. sometimes i think it's the feng shui in my room. but at times, i figured i'm just lazy.

so so, what do you want to discuss today? gosh, don't you miss those long boring religion lectures i use to give? haha. well, i know i miss giving them.

what's been bugging my mind lately is well hmmm my major. well, not exactly my major si sebenernya. but my friggin hobby. hahaha. i love to write, as some of you may already know. i know my writing pretty much sucks most of the time but i love doing it. i usually need a lot of strength and willpower to drag my ass and write. but once i do it, i can't exactly stop. it's tooooo much fun. therefore, i know that my sole purpose of existence is to make a change by writing.

two of my favorite quotes are

'scratch your name into surface of this world, before you go.' by the noisettes which is actually a song lyric, not exactly a quote.

second is, 'prove you exist'

in a nutshell, i believe that everyone is supposed to make a contribution to earth in a way and well, for some reason, i do not want to die someday and not be remembered

i guess this is all because of he movie TROY. when thetis, achilles' mum said to achilles that he can just stay home and have children and be remembered by his grandchildren and all. but if he goes to war, he will be remembered and cherished in years to come.

i want to beeee like that. i want to be remembered in years to come for that so-called contribution which i have made.

i believe that everybody is given a special gift and interest by god. maximize it. use it to scratch your name and prove you exist. if you're good and love dancing, then dance away! don't let anything get in the way. you can be a legend like michael jackson or isadora duncan. if you think drawing is your thing then go ahead and draw what comes to mind! if you love accounting and science and stuff and go ahead, learn it properly then apply it wisely later on in life. the world pretty much depends on our generation.

well back to me, since this is my blog. teehee

i feel like my 'thing' is writing and that is how i am supposed to make dedications to this world. but then again, i'm still to lazy to start anything. zzzzzzzzzzz. i wish i wasn't such a procrastinator.

more trash blogging, horray for trash blogging

2009-09-09T03:45:00.000-07:00

i still haven't found the mood to go back to campus. seriously. gosh this really sucks ass. i mean, what with all the new schedule i'm still not used to and the shitload of work i have no intention to even touch or bother knowing. boyfriend's on a different faculty, more stupid homework. even more shit coming and so on and so on. oh and the campus is swarming with mabas. nyeaaah, sometimes they get on my nerves. sometimes.

i've been on hold for like 3 months! i need god damn adaptation. i want my old teachers back, ones that i'm already comfortable with. i want to go back to last year where we are the newbies trying everything new in sight. this new semester is just stupid stupid stupid and i really have no mood to even start making my homework for tomorrow. i know i'm not making sense and practically repeating everything but i just hate the new semester!!!! aarrggghhhh fuck fuckity fuck.

sure it's pretty naive if you want 4 years of uni to be all as smooth as your first year. all as fun, all as exciting with a little spice here and there. but i really do wish it was like that still. sigh

males ngapa2in akhirnya gw ngeblog sampah

2009-09-09T02:57:00.000-07:00

i am soooo sorry about what i have done. i guess i went a little to far. sometimes i just don't know my boundaries and i'm starting to wonder, when will i EVER learn??

mau berapa kali lagi kaya gini? i don't even know where to start writing.

anyway, karma will come back around and i WILL get what i deserve.

to the people i have caused harm to, i am SO SORRY. i never thought things would be this messed up.

:)

2009-08-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

going to buka puasa at iman's house tomorrow!

excited and nervous at the same time. it's not exactly the first time i've met his parents and siblings. but it's the first time i get to sit down and have a meal with them. hope all goes well!

hell to the o

2009-08-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

hell-o!

gosh i feel like it's been ages since i wrote here. my blog's glory days are over. yaha as if my blog ever had it's glory days.

i mean, i use to like post 5 times each day. and now my blog is neglected as shit. it's like there's a tumbleweed passing by when you open it complete with the wind blowing sound effect. anyway is there a place i can get a tumbleweed for my blog? haha. it would be pretty cool.

so here i am, back at my blogspot page, a place that used to be my comfort zone. what got me going everyday. i remember posting everytime, through my mobile phone, through everywhere.

i don't have that much crazy thoughts to share today. cause lately i just let my crazy thoughts linger. but i just feel like writing. cause i feel that only by writing i can truly get a hold of myself. i have to do it every now and then or else i'll get lost in my stream of thoughts.

classes are starting next week. i'm staying in FIB and not moving anywhere, THANK GOD for that. but you know, i speak for the whole faculty when i say i have to get used to people going, 'lo di sastra? mau jadi apa deh?'

ooh that's not it. pertanyaannya macem2. di modif2. lama2 gw koleksi deh. ada yg blg, 'haha gw aja bingung lo mau jadi apa?' ada jg yg blg, 'kok sastra si? arsitek dong, klo ga kedokteran.'

yeah kedokteran my ass.

that there, that's something i will have to get used to. like it or not. it's something that i have to prove. we will be friggin' something ok. better, we will be somebody. aarrghh i really wish i could prove it like now or something tp gw magerrr pollllllllllllll. gw tu sering kepikiran mau nulis lah, mau beraktivitas lah, mau produktif lah. ujung2nya nyampah aja gt di rumah. mana itu moto hidup lo yg prove you exist. or, scratch your name into the surface of this world lah or apa. sometimes i think i'm putting too much on myself. or not, i don't know. i pressure myself to be big and to make a change and so on and so on. but sometimes i just want to live my life. be normal. sit back and do stuff i want to do and feel like doing without any pressure.

ok, to make it more clear. i love writing, more than anything. like i said, it's the only thing that's keeping me sane throughout all these years. i know that one day i will make myself write for a cause. make a difference by my writings with hopes that it can last for years to come. down to the next generation. even if that doesn't happen, it's ok. at least i tried. tapi gw males mulaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. god damn it males bgt mulainya ya olooooohhh. padahal gw tau, if not now, then when? i'll be old with a job and kids and a family to take care of soon. so kapan lg mau berkarya???

phew. that felt good.

last days of this holiday

2009-08-17T02:31:00.000-07:00

so intinya gw putus.

sayang si, it's been a great 4 months together dan gw semakin bingung knp gw ga bisa bgt pacaran lama2.

anyway, gw bingung mau nulis apa cause everything is just to personal. udah ada beberapa tmn gw yg gw ceritain and seriously, gw bnr2 kaget that i'm capable of such an evil act.

as usual this makes my mind wonder off. apa si definisi orang baik dan orang jahat?

haha tau ah gw lg mls ngetik deh, as usual

me talk pretty one day

2009-08-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

mew

2009-08-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

hey peeps,

sorry for the usual neglection. better get used to it cause lately the mood to write here sorta gallops away along with the popularity of facebook.

anyway, last sunday i went to javarockin land with nindi and ajeng and gotcha. the main reason people come on sunday is for mew and third eye blind. i once tweeted that everytime i hear the word mew, it's the pokemon that comes to mind, not the band. you know the pokemon, mew. it's the list of the first generation of pokemon, mew was second last. followed my mewtwo.

what i mean by first generation is when it was still ash, misty and brock. remember? before that new guy came along with marill. which became my favorite pokemon.

anyway, don't continue reading. this post is going to suck if you're not a fan of pokemon. it will still suck anyway even if you're a fan of pokemon. i'm just having too much fun writing this. haha

anyway, the pink one is mew and the blue one is marill

i remembered back in australia, there's this pokemon movie which i watched in the cinemas and LOVED it. i even got a free special edition mew card. the title was pokemon: mewtwo strikes back.

ok, i'm going to write what i remember, and i'm going to read the synopsis and compare the result. i want to know how much i remember.

so there's this amazing pokemon called mew which, until now, haven't been caught. the scientist decided to make a replica of mew called mewtwo. just like every other science fiction movie, everything that's created in a lab always ends up in catastrophe.

ok, here's the real synopsis:

When a group of scientists are offered funding into genetic research if they agree to try and clone the greatest ever Pokémon, Mew, the end result is success and Mewtwo is born. However Mewtwo is bitter about his purpose in life and kills his masters. In order to become the greatest he throws open a challenge to the world to battle him and his Pokémon. Ash and his friends are one of the few groups of trainers who pass the first test and prepare for battle. However they soon find out about further cloning and Mew 2's ultimate plan for the earth.

close wasn't i? haha

i loved the movie sooo much, i still remember it like it was last year. i also remember my favorite part was when misty saved ash from drowning and said something in the lines of, 'he's not my boyfriend, but he is my boy friend.'

haha, yeah. pretty geekshit.

baby, as if

2009-08-07T11:52:00.001-07:00

As if
I'm gonna let you break my heart again
As if I'm gonna let your love back in my life
Not tonight, get a grip
Baby as if

blaque- as if

amazeballs!

2009-08-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

hey peeps. i know i have been neglecting my blog more than ever. but today, i had suck a wondrous day that i can not not write it.

so mas iwet picked me up today to come along to radio cakrawala for an interview about #indonesiaunite. turns out, i ended up talking as well. haha. even though i know i didn't do very good, i had fun. FYI, radio cakrawala is a mandarin radio. they only use indonesians when they are interviewing people. it was nice that there is actually a place where my specialties is much needed and that they really impressed when i tell them that i'm taking chinese studies. i think i might consider getting a job there one day!

next, we went to pacific place for a book discussion. 8 classic indonesian literature are being republished with a whole new look. those 8 books are

-Atheis - Achdiat Kartamihardja (the only one i've read. AWESOME)

-habis gelap terbitlah terang - Raden Ajeng Kartini

-Layar Terkembang - Sutan Takdir Alisjahbana

-Salah Asuhan - Abdoel Moeis

-Sitti Nurbaya - Marah Rusli

-Dari Ave maria ke jalan lain ke roma - Idrus

-Salah Pilih - Nur Sutan iskandar

-Azab dan Sengsara - Merari Siregar

You buy the whole packet and they cost around 2.000.000 rupiahs. sigh.

check it out here

the batik on the cover is designed by the famous designer Obin.

anyway, there was the discussion. the discussion was only for 2 of the books. habis gelap terbitlah terang and salah asuhan. i think it was great. really great. again, i felt really appreciated by the fact that i was surrounded by people who loved literature as well. not just indonesian literature, but also english. i get to have lunch with some of the speakers before the show started and again, they we're all so inspiring.

the MC was Becky tumewu whom i conversed with and turns out she's a huge fan of mitch albom. i'm not crazy about mitch albom. but he's ok i guess. then she said that she was going to perform in a play based on george orwell's animal farm. george orwell has been on my list for long but i haven't got the chance to read it. then there was lukman sardi. and yes, he is THAT hot! then there was samuel mulia. he's amazing. amazing amazing. then last but definitely not least, taufik ismail.

the discussion went GREAT not boring like most book discussions and really really inspiring.

i learnt that to be a great women, it doesn't mean you have to go around and be successful in your career and all that. by being a housewife, you are already amazing. really REALLY amazing. a woman's job in this world is to raise children that can turn out to be great leaders and make the country better. it's like what nabi muhammad said, the greatness of a country is measured by how great the woman in it are.

overall, i had sooo much fun and you have no idea how much i learned today and how everything just inspires me to the core. i was also greatful that i was lent dewi lestari's recto verso from mas iwet. the hardcover version, with an autograph! and, i was given again, by mas iwet, a 100.000 voucher to spend at times bookstore. i used it to buy david sedaris' me talk pretty one day. it costs 215.000. but it was on discount and i had the voucher with me. so i only payed 72.000. woohoo!

and honestly, i really really really really want the classic literature set. but it's soooo expensive. :(

i mean, that's like a month's salary for me. and i don't really want to spend it all in one blow. so i guess i will buy all the books, but not the special edition ones. haha.

harry potter!!

2009-07-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

ok i've gone daniel radcliffe crazed all over again. he is toooooooo hot!!!!!!

anyway, that's not really what i want to discuss. i remember i use to loooooove reading. i'd do it anywhere and anytime. smp2 balajar terbengkalai gara2 kadang gw milih baca. but now, i don't know why, i just don't feel like reading when i'm at home. i always bring my novel everywhere so i end up reading in malls, my office, people's houses, campus, train. but not my home. i don't even know why.

and i've also just read raditya dika's tweet. where he actually gives special time to write. keep his mobile and laptop away and just write. roald dahl also said that. if you want to be a writer, you have to know that there is nobody but yourself to tell you when the deadline is and when you have to work.

if my tasks in the office isn't too hectic, i write in my notebook. i no longer write what i feel like writing, i've actually started to create stories. sure i've posted one or two fictions in my blog. and i'm sure you all agree that they completely suck ass. but this, i sorta put a quite a big effort in this. and my character's name is calliope. turns out, the character in middlesex is also calliope. i thought about changing the name but instead i'll improve.

lately, i've also met soooo many inspiring people. people that wow the living shittttttt out of me. oh i'm inspired all right. but it's like, i'm so static and not doing anything. i have to start promising myself i will write properly.

and i've had sooo many great opportunities in my lifetime but i keep turning them down. a few days ago i was asked to join the #indonesiaunite PR team. i was really really really excited and really wanted to charge, but i don't know. i feel like their having second chances about calling me in. i just hope i'm wrong and i can be completely total when an opportunity comes along.

going arctic

2009-07-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

hello all. geez i really really miss those good old days where i would blog like crazy. i guess those glory days are over. as much as i miss it, i just couldn't find the mood back.

There was this one post i once made and well i'm sure some of you would remember cause i had a few number of people coming up to me saying how stupidly funny it was. about my sate padang restaurant, remember? ahahahaha. yeah, the one called ny. Widya's with a picture of me disanggul dan pake kebaya. ahahhaha. well today when i was at work iman texted me and said

"yang masa aku ke gramedia trus nemu buku judulnya 'sukses bisnis rumah makan PADANG'. beliin ah buat kamu hahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha."

yeah well ujung2nya gw ga dibeliin karena duitnya dia kurang 10 ribu emg dasar geblek.

oh and to aby if you're reading this, get well soon! and yes, you read the first word of the sms right. hahahaha

xianggang!

2009-07-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

hey peeps! yeah i just got back from xianggang a.k.a hong kong. klo kata barong, xianggang id, bukan ngangkang. hahah ga tau kenapa but that really cracked me up.

xianggang was pretty nice. i mean, the last time i went there i didn't pay that much attention to my surroundings. just disneyland. haha. this time, i was sort of already over disneyland and finally saw the bigger picture of xianggang. to be a little honest, i was pretty disappointed at how different cantonese is from mandarin. haha. yeah this is pretty obvious actually, but i was hoping i could still understand at least a little bit of it. but no. i don't catch a word they're saying.
nice facts that i found out about xianggang is that it lives only by dagang. dagang dagang dagang, ga ada tu cocok tanam or produksi or whatever. it's all just dagang. and i gotta admit the MTR experience was great. more or less like singapore si. but somehow different.

and shopping was great as well. it's pretty jam packed with shopping centres and lane crawford was a really great experience for me. it's even better than their harvey nichols.

here are some pictures i managed to take. no, i manage to drag my ass and take them cause gw sebnernya mls bgt foto2. haha.

aaaaah lama uploadnya. mls. hahahahaa

lanjut bingung

2009-07-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

pgn marah tapi ga bisa. sumpah. i know it's my maunya si ga usah kesel sm sekali. yaudh biasa2. aja. tp it's like damn impossible. i know it's just my immaturity talking. and my PMS and all this heat. tp yaaaa it's just really really hard to hold it back. =(

hmmmmmm

2009-07-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

bingung

...........

2009-07-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

masi merasa terselamatkan oleh tuhan smlm. holy...... shit!

and iraaaaaaan

2009-06-29T09:13:00.001-07:00

gw ga tau knp tp gw bnr2 ngakak smp guling2 liat ini. apalagi pas and iraaaaaaan. hahahahaah

award

2009-06-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

there's only one award i'm going to give out and it goes to bernardine stefani's blog. she once wrote, you have to be honest with yourself cause you can never be truly honest with another person. those words stick to me more than ever. it's amazing. i never heard it anywhere else apart from her blog and she created that quote by herself. ya kan rong?

you rock dude

bali again

2009-06-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

oh and i had my trip with bali with ayu utami. gosh she is such an awesome person. seriously. i haven't read any of her books but i have heard about them. i've also read the first few pages of her book. i wish i could write the cools things she did while we were there but i really can't cause that's a matter of privacy.

anyway, the reason i brought her up is because. lately i've been thinking i don't think i have the guts to publish a book of my own. ever.

you see, when you write, you kind of release the inner you in which everyone will read. i've always been the person to keep things for myself so when i write, it's like giving away myself for everyone to see and to me that is such a big deal.

people WILL judge. they surely will. and i am just not up to it.

but then when you think about yes. yes, people will judge, that is for sure. but so what? seriously so what? of course readers can have their right to judge and comment on the works they read. and no matter how many people judge you negatively, you will always have people who thinks the other way. and you will always have people to support you. so i guess you'll never stand alone.

if you've read ayu utami's books. or djenar maesa ayu's isn't it hard not to judge them? i mean, i hear a lot of people throw comments on their books whether the comments are good or bad.

but then it came to me, how are you supposed to write well when you care to much what people will think of you? you will end up caged and not be able to express yourself freely. look at elizabeth gilbert. she wrote about her life down to the dirtiest and most embarrassing details. she turned out to be a bestseller.

so yeah, my point is. i really got to release myself.

come to think of it, when it comes to people judging me, oh i think my older blog once made people end up saying stuff about me(proven, not assuming). the result? well i really couldn't care less about that.

well, yeah i really have got to learn to release myself. hhahaa.

and i still got a looong way to go

BALIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

2009-06-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

hey peeps i just got back from baliiiiiii!!!! seriously, bali will always be the most beautiful place on earth for me. a trip to bali just never fails me. i love the ambience too much.

this time i was lucky enough to spend my time there with my boyfrieeennddd!!!!

oh yeah, i envy myself. heheheheheheehehehehheeh

on my last day in bali, which is today, me and iman met up at kuta in the morning and we sat around for a few while and decided to swim. seriously, nothing is more fun than swimming in one of my favorite beach in the whole world with my boyfriend and kiss as the waves hit you. asin2 gmn gt

hahahahahahahahaaha, ok too much information

we then went to warung made and go for a tiny stroll along legian until iman had to drop me back to my hotel cause my plane's leaving in like 2 hours.

seriously it was soooooo hard to drag my ass of the car's seat when we arrived at my hotel. i just didn't want to leave! at all! but yeah, dagong menunggu.

overall, i had sooooooooo much fuuuun. and i have no one but our parents to thank. thank you parents for allowing me to go to bali and finding the tickets on such short notice. and thank you for letting me meet up with iman even though it was already really late out(we didn't end up meeting that night though) and thank you for the breakfast vouchers for me and iman only (though we didn't end up using it either). and thank you iman's parents for lending the car and letting your boy run loose with his girlfriend in bali! hahahaha. you guys are the best! all of you!

ooowh one more thing! gw sm iman nyesel bgtttt ga foto di pantai sm sekali. abis keburu kebelet pgn nyebur hahahaha

hello peeps!

2009-06-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

gosh i haven't written in aaaaaaaggggeeeesssssss. honestly i miss the thrill of writing but i couldn't bring it back you see. i guess i'm saving all the good stuff for my book. hahaaa

sab bgt gw sok2 mau nulis buku. honestly, it's in mind kok. but probably not anytime soon. i'm thinking about writing later on in life when i'm in my twenties. and if i write stuff here, people might find it and steal it and claims it their idea.

HAHA pd bgt gw. kaya ada aja yg mau nyolong.

ok let's move on. remember when i use to write stuff about religion? yeeah, i miss those good old days. i wish i could still do it but i don't even remember how to start.

i'll try anyway though. haha

so i've been wanting to buy this book the power of now by eckhart toole. it's featured in oprah and there's like this class you attend. i read my boss' copy of the book earlier today and i don't really get it. i mean can people learn to be happy and like constantly happy? well, maybe that's not what the book is about, but i'm in no mood to find out more about it. let alone practice all the theories inside.

you know how people are riveting around about religions. and how i'm sorrounded by friends and family who mostly believe the same religion but there are a hell lot of other beliefs. well honestly i'm kind of tired of how people try to prove what they believe is most right. they show proofs of miracles and all sorts of stuff. so far, i see that miracles occur in every belief i know! from cadavers which doesn't rot to the miraculous mekkah, i believe they are all proof that god exists.

from my point of view. i would never think that god actully holds one religion and only one way to worship him i mean come on. i don't think god's that naive. god is actually the holder, the creator and the one who maintains this whole world. we are all here for a reason, of course. if only one religion is right, then what rules apply to the rest? why do god still care for them the same? some people have callings. true callings of being a muslim, a catholic, a buddhist even an atheist. i think that is also god's doing in order to create life and diversity around us. in order to make us think about our life's purposes and who and what to worship.

ya gt deh in a nutshellnya. hope you like it. i miss sharing my views with you all

tootles!

again, dagong

2009-06-15T07:04:00.001-07:00

ini meja tpt gw kerjahalf the post-its under the screen is written by me. there's even one that says jiayou!

and i painted my fingers with an uber tacky pink color. but god knows why, it kind of cheers me up in a way.

dagong aja terus

2009-06-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

there are HEAAAPPPSSS of things i want to write here. like how i almost owe my company puluhan juta rupiah and other shit that's been happening to me lately. tp gw lg ga mood cerita itu.

what's been bugging my mind lately is the time limit i have and how i have to divided between friends, family, boyfriend and myself.

i work everyday from monday to friday for approximately 12 hours. jam 8 smp hampir jam 8 lg. last friday, gw baru pulang jam stgh 1 pagi malah. yaa lo tau sendiri lah. yg ada sampe rumah cape kerja dan maunya maen2 bntr. gw seharian blom online, blom maen the sims gt2. trus on weekends, gw pasti ketemuan sm tmn2 gw soalnya any other day gw ga pernah bisa ketemuan. trus minggu, gw sm keluarga karena mereka lebih apa kabar bgt dibanding temen2 gw.

well, gw si selalu gt ngebagi waktunya. pertanyaannya adalah, trus buat pacar gw kapaaan?????

iya si i knowwww, gw selalu telfon2an klo mlm tp karena blom puas maen2 sendiri jd gw pasti sambil online klo ga maen the sims trus klo sabtu gw pasti jalannya sm tmn2. i know i suck at being a girlfriend. aarrghhh tp my ego just keeps telling me, i still want to playyyyy. i want to me time tanpa harus terikat sm org, meee time!!!

and last night we kind of had the biggest row ever and we were this close to breaking up and all of a sudden i realize how much i still want this relationship and how much i don't want things to end.

i guess, i have been taking iman for granted. i always thought he'd always be there and that i can contact him anytime i want. intinya, i took him for granted. majorly.

i feel so guilty i mean it kind of hit me. if i don't want to sacrifice anything, then don't commit. yg mau commit kan gw, yg masi mau lanjut kan gw, yaudh gw jgn egois dan mengharapkan semua lancar2 aja dong tanpa gw hrs ngorbanin waktu gw sedikit buat iman.

iya emg iman harus bisa ngertiin gw secara gw bnran udh ga punya idup lg, tp ya gw jg harus ngertiin dia lah. apa rasanya bgt deh udh hari biasa dimaklumin gara2 emg kerja, weekend masi ngilang sibuk sendiri. trus klo telfon2an alesannya aaah aku belom maen the sims, belom online belom apalah apalah

aaaah maaf yaaaaaa imaaann. i never ever meant to do all those things bnran2. ga sadar aja. and yes most of all i took you for granted. sigh

huaaaaa jd curhat. but i just had to release that somewhere.

my childhood friends

2009-06-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

The Famous Five

a.k.a lima sekawan

for those of you who know that i have a passion for novels, this is where it all began. i remember it like it was yesterday, haha. i saw the book article on bobo. and they were reviewing the famous five. the second book. the indonesian version has a pink border. i forgot the title though. yeah i bought that second book, read it, loved it, and continue buying the rest of the series. before i knew it, i was in love with the five. julian, dick, anne, george and timmy. i remember spreading the disease to nindi later on. haha. that second book, the first novel that i ever bought, i gave it to nindi. soon after she named her dog timmy and started falling in love with the 5 as well. haha. when i moved to australia, i bought the english version. i also still remember, it has pictures, but no colours. i found the one with colours later on and started collecting them. so the famous five was the first novel i ever lay my hands on followed by little house on the prairie(never really liked it though). the famous five is also the first english novel that i've ever read followed by harry potter and roald dahl.

in aussie, there was a time when i rented the famous five video. hahha. i loved it, but it was too british. haha

matilda

god i love this book. seriously. i remember watching the movie a few number of times and had my teacher in aussie read it to the class. Mrs. telford was the name of my teacher. sue telford. i fell in love with roald dahl and started chugging down all his books. i remember reading charlie and the chocolate factory for the first time in the year 2000 when i was on my way to sydney to watch the paralympic games. when i returned to indonesia, i watched willy wonka and the chocolate factory at dhea's house(forgot the precise year). then when i was on my european tour, i bought one roald dahl book in each country.

owh almost forgot! i always loved matilda's quote. the one that goes something along the lines of, "i never look up words that i don't understand. i just let them float around me."

last but definitely not least, in fact, it's the one i miss most

pippi langstrump

a.k.a pippi longstocking

i remember when i was really really little, like 8 or something, my grandma showed me this doll she bought in europe. i remembered it was named pippi, and it had weird clothes, a really happy face and 2 bright red pigtails. i didn't pay that much attention to it.

years later, when i was in a bookfare, my mum showed me a book which i bought and actually loved in. until one day i realized this was the doll my grandma showed me. turns out she bought it in russia. though pippi is not russian. i loved it. i loved the books soooooo much. in fact, once they were going to air it in tv7 once. i remeber the ad was pippi singing "standing on top of mount kilimanjaro, watching the sun rise the wind in my hair. i want to be where ever i want to be, there's magic everywhere"

haaaa gila udh lewat 7 tahun gw masi inget lagunya. haha

so i hope you like my reminiscing. remembering those good old childhood days is one of the best things in life sometimes.

balancing my life at the tip of my fingers

2009-06-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

my title, yeah that's what i'm doing. as you all know i am currently dagong ing. in my previous post, i wrote how much of a burden my dagong is, but as time flies by, i'm learning to enjoy it more and more. seriously.

even though i'm starting to enjoy it and not take it as a burden, it still takes up most of my time. so as you know, i work nearly 12 hours a day everyday, from morning till night. once i arrived home, i'm too tired to do anything. mostly just end up feeling guilty towards my boyfriend. i'm just confused whether i should have my own me time or spend it with him, cause usually i only have one or two hours before i fall asleep. i don't have anymore time to study for snmptn, that's why i always bring those latian soals to work and study if there is nothing for me to do. lumayan masuk si. my summer novel(digital fortress) is majorly neglected. meeting up meet friends and families is harder than ever and all sorts of stuff.

then all of a sudden, like a week ago, my senior texted me about me having to find an artist for sinofest. an artist with a little bit of a chinese touch. i don't know what that's supposed to mean. four seasons gt????

when i was recruited into joining acara, i really didn't want to at first. but then they asked me personally cause they needed me to make letters to the chinese embassy. i said my chinese is really bad and that i don't think we should write a letter to the chinese embassy in english seeing we ARE from chinese studies. but they said it doesn't matter. sooooo i have no choice but to join. i have no problem whatsoever on the letters, but the artist thingy, seriously, i never signed up for that. i know it's part of my responsibility and i'm not supposed to neglect it in any way, but it's just soooo hard to even are about it. it's like one more detail is squished into my already crammed head. seriously.

i know it must be pretty frustrating for my seniors to see that they haven't got a reply from me but i kept replying those birthday messages. also they've warned me through facebook chat (easy on the caps lock and exclamation marks there, geez) but it's soooo hard for me to even move my ass to care.

ok, so the message said that they have to get a reply within a week after that message was sent. well, they sent it last saturday so i'll reply it tomorrow.

sigh

sorry of the note's too boring and unnecessary, i just really needed to spill this somewhere.

secret of the week

2009-06-06T21:46:00.001-07:00

i gotta love this secret

go read this week's secret, kok gw dpt bgt ya feelnya minggu ini.

being random

2009-06-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

-i don't feel like talking about dagong. not AT ALL! it's weekend and i want to cherish it more than ever

-it's my 19th birthday tomorrow!!

-watch drag me to hell. seriously. god knows why, but i like it!

-i saw what your friend just wrote on your wall. hmmm. i don't even know how i'm supposed to react to what i've been hearing about you lately.

-yesterday was me and iman's 2 months anniversary!

-addicted to the sims3. like major

- thinking about going to bed now. bye!

tweeting too hard

2009-06-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

check it out, the website where self-important tweets gets the attention they deserve

tweeting too hard

here are some of my favorites. sumpah tengil abisss. hahaha

228 this morning. Rock-hard abs. Looking good. I'd fuck myself if I were flexible enough.

Pruning a few of my Followers. Some of these Twits would Follow their own shadow if they could.

I'm At the Hottest, Newest..Exclusive club in Ny rite now. I could tell u the name and where..But u couldn't get in Anyway..So why Bother!

I seem to get two kinds of Twitter followers: People who want me, and people who want to be me.

dagong

2009-06-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

so i now have an internship or as we know it, magang. in chinese it's called dagong and that's what i feel like calling it. it's pronounced takung, but you can read it whatever you want.

this dagong thing, it's at this completely high tech office where everybody uses blackberry and the latest mac. it also pays well, all my friends seem to blurt out my favorite animal every time i mention the salary i get. hehee. but to get that amount of salary, it sure isn't an easy work.

so this company is a brand consulting company. you know, so famous brands and companies go there to consult their packaging, appearance and that sort of stuff. me, i'm put in the business department. yeah, unfortunately you heard,==or in this case read, that right. for those who know me, you may also no that i have NO experience in the business department. let alone experience, i have no KNOWLEDGE. na-da. effing ZERO. and don't even get me started on how i get there in the first place. zzzzz

so the first day i was all.......................??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i didn't have a clue to what i was doing and what i was supposed to do. i ate lunch on the table with others but they weren't very friendly which makes me miss having lunch with my friends more than anything. then the hard work starts when i took part in the meeting and was told to make the minute. i was all like, shit! what the fucking fuck is a minute? isn't that like, 60 seconds??? well it turns out a minute is a contact report. so it is a report of everything discussed in the meeting and all the decisions made. yeah great, a person like me is responsible for that kind of thing. tingkat kebelean and keskipan gw kan TINGGI BGT. later on in life, you'll probably know that those guys participating in the meeting do not keep track of what they say and discuss. there are just so many things and they can't remember all. so they have to have someone to keep track of everything a.k.a me. dan gw ga boleh salah nulis or ga sempet nulis or things like that.

and it is just so EXHAUSTING. gw kerja tu 11 jam an gt. kurang lebih. dr jam 8 pagi smp kurang lebih jam 7. udah cape, ga ngerti apa2. really that isn't the best feeling in the world. sumpah udh mau mati bgt klo gw disuruh tp ga ngerti. biarpun udh nanya masi ga ngerti jg. all i can do is nangis2 ke iman smp rumah. but seriously i HAVE GOT TO STOP DOING THAT! kesian imannya beneran deh. lama2 pasti cape jg lah dgrin gw nangis. trus i seriously have to get a grip cause mau smp kapan kaya gini kan gw gw jg yg cape. well, i'm getting more and more pw by the day siii. but still, ga ketolongan bgt capenya.

gw td smp rumah jam 8 lewat, skrg gw masi harus bikin minute dan besok pagi gw harus cpt2 ke kantor cuma buat ngambil voucher taxi sm ngejemput org trus lgsg cabut lg ke tpt rapat which is an hour ride and after that rapat, another minute has to be made. hooray me.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(*^&*%&*$#$#$^&%^ god i feel like swearing soooooo much

......

2009-06-04T06:20:00.001-07:00

cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape capekkkkkkkkkkk

last days in fib

2009-05-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

lately, i don't know why, it's just been sooo hard for me to cry. i re-watched sad movie and i didn't cry, i watched marley and me and i didn't cry, i watched the season finale of grey's anatomy and i didn't cry(ini gw bingung bgt). but i just wrote iman's goodbye note in facebook and i've only just read the few lines and tears started coming down. by the time i finished reading, i cried myself shitless. it was just soooooo sad. the thought of him having to leave his closest friends just kills me.

here, i'll post the letter here. it'll probably send me back to tears again but whatever.

yah minggu ini minggu terakhir gue d fib. artinya gue gk bakal nemuin makhluk2 kyk lo2 lg d fisip. dan gk ada si wo dsana. buat gue pindah k fiib berarti gue keilangan bgt tmn2 gue yg udh gue anggep kyk sodara. gue seneng bgt masuk fib. karena gue dapetin tmn baru dan juga pacar baru. haha. yg ga ada senioritas jg minoritas. pertama kali gua masuk fib sih kesannya biasa aja jlek lg gedungnya.haha. gue jg liat tmn2 gue yg baru kok gini2 amat yak. tp seiring dengan berjalannya waktu. gue sadar kalo mereka baik bgt dan bner2 menerima satu sama lain. fib itu tmpt lo bisa ngejalanin sesuatu tanpa kepura2an. semua org menerima lo apa adanya. mereka org2 yg lebih mikir k bwh drpd k atas. dan gue ngerasa gue menemukan tmpat gue aja d fib. gue masi inget si sodik yg manggil gue tempa tempe lah. anak2 cwe manggil gue aimen lah. irwindo yg gk jelas. ceng2an ama marsha. dcengin ama acong. nyiksa si zae dan tata jg. maen ama non reg drumput. maen futsal bola brg. kulturfest. maen petasan d gedung 9. ahaha. maen d kansas ampe malem. masuk kls frau leli (yg bikin ngantuk amat ni kuliah). kenalan ama tuti dsb. maen k kosan dela ama si sinta. nyiksa si icha d leher ampe kejang2 dia. hahaaha. bilang k indra " ndra siaga satu ndra, ada ratu kansas mau dtg " ama cengan kulit duku dr si medi. hahha. solat jumat brg. liat fandy begituan. uas pske. maen capsa. terlalu byk ingatan gue walaupun cm 2 smster disini. makanya gue sempet mikir pas mau pindah dr fib. karena gue punya keluarga baru d fib.( bukan keluarga abang ye). lo gue anggep tmn2 gue yg plg deket.( lebay ih iman ih). hahaha. tp satu yg jelas. semoga gue masi bisa k kansas smster dpn. ngeliat lo2 pd lg. trus masi menjaga hubungan pertemanan gue ama lo2 semua ank jerman. terima kasih atas kemurahan hati lo smua ank2 jerman. gue gk tau cara ngebls lo smua

no it did not send me to tears this time actually. thank god. cape jg gw nangis.

this also really got me thinking,'segitu beratnya lho ninggalin fib.'

hmmmmmm

anyway, i'm glad i spent my last few weeks in fib with iman in the most amazing ways i can imagine. we have our moments and our corners and we've laughed and we've pissed each other off and i will never forget those days.

it's really going to be hard entering kansas and not seeing him amidst his friends from german studies.

last friday was his last day in fib(it could also be my last!). honestly, i kind of regretted ending his days in fib in a pretty big fight in gedung 9 over something completely unimportant. i started the fight and it was all my doing. he was just so confused and frustrated about my behaviour, he wen't straight home. well not exactly home, solat jumat dulu di istiqlal. haha. (penting abis gw tulis).

well all in all, have a fun new life in fisip boy! i know you'll do great cause you really are a chameleon. you fit and adapt well pretty much everywhere. =)

toy story 3!

2009-05-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

i could just watch this over and over and over! can't wait!!!!

F I B

2009-05-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

kenapa gw harus di fib? kenapa fakultas yg harus gw tinggalin klo keterima snmptn adalah fib? knp fib tu paraaaaah bgt pwnya? knp fib udah mendarah daging bgt di gw? knp gw harus sayang bgt sm fib? knp gw betah bgt berjam2 di kansas? knp gw pas pertama kali masuk kelas di fib trus ngeliat keluar jendela, pemandangannya BGS BGT(6210)? knp gw belajar maen capsa di fib? knp gw belajar maen futsal di fib? knp tmn2 gw di fib ENAK BGT? knp gw kenalan sm iman di fib? knp gw i love every little god damned thing about fib(except the toilets maybe)? knp klo tmn2 gw lg cerita ttg ga enaknya lingkungan kuliah mereka gw selalu bersyukur gw punya fib? kenapa perpus fib itu enaaaaak bgt? shit, there are sooooooooooo many more things about fib that i love. meskipun gw blom tentu ninggalin jg, tp the thought itself just makes me go all.......... i can't even find a word for this

ok, now i'm confused

2009-05-28T07:55:00.000-07:00

ok. too much is going on right now and i really need to pull myself together.

first of all, gw masi cape abis latian drama. cape cape cape cape. trus masa td kan baju gw agak2 lebih ketat dari kaos2 yg gw pake ke kampus kan, trus gw pulang pake jaket MUnya iman. hahaha. kocak aja si, secara MU baru kalah semalem. dan PANAS YA!

but what's been bugging me is, gw penasaran bgt ikut snmptn lagi. shiteeeeeee. umb ga bisa, it's too late. tp snmptn masi sebulan lebih. malah hampir dua bulan. daaaaan setelah perundingan dgn bonyok gw, gw memutuskan ikut.

shit shit shit, skrg gw bingung. gw PGN BGTTT keterima snmptn. tapi at the same time gw udah PW bgt di cina. sumpah. parah parah parah. paraaaaaaaahhhhhh. sumpah itu pasti susaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh bgtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ninggalin tmn2 gw di cina, trus ninggalin pelajaran2 gw di kelas, ninggalin kansas! and overall, ninggalin FIB!!!!!

sumpah bisa gila gw bnran deh. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. jd trus gmn dong dong dong dong???? masalahnya gw jg ga mau terus di cina tp penasaraaaaaannnnnnn. gw harus melakukan ngilangin penasaran gw! aaaah shit shit shit.

bingung euy. sumpah bingung. paraaaaaaahhhh

uas is finally over

2009-05-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

well except for pengantar kesusastraan, but at least the worst is over. so i think it's time to write about that day i got my fortune told.

so it was my aunt and my nephew's birthday and my aunt called in a tarot reader just for fun. i had my fortune told and honestly, he almost got everything right. even the many people who got their fortune told before me said so. i mean, the guy was right about everything i was going through.

the thing is, you know how fortune telling is a percaya ga percaya thing? well, i think, if you believe in fortune telling, god will make it a media to send messages to you. and if you don't believe it then god won't, cause he knows you won't even budge after hearing all that. so for example, if i was told that i will finish my study in uni quickly and get my dream job--which unfortunately i was not--if i believed it, it will encourage me to do study well and get there faster. and if i was told i could make that change i've always wanted to see in the world, then it would encourage me to do it faster.

so, my point is, i don't believe that fortune telling is a sin. i mean, sure that's what religions tell us. but life isn't all black and white. it isn't all write and wrong. i mean, i'm sure god has a better way of thinking rather just plain black and white, right and wrong. bener salah, dosa pahala.

me and my friends have been going to fisip really often these last few days. the reason is to buy that amazing double oreo milkshake with rum. seriously, they're really great. i don't mind having them everyday. we all go there just to have fun, but the thing is, sentences such as, " ini sebenernya dosa ga si?" is pretty much inevitable. the most common answer to that is just plain,"yaelah dikit doang." which i think doesn't really make sense cause the rules states that you're not even allowed to drink a drop. if you believe that is. but i've also heard some people fiddling around with the rules. the rules states that you are not allowed to drink what makes you drunk. so some friends of mine assume, as long's as you stay sober, it's not a sin.

well, honestly, honestly, this is one of the cons of religions. everything is soooooo set. everything is either right or wrong, bener atau salah, dosa atau pahala. once you find yourself in a grey area, you get all confused and search for a rule that makes you sure what to do.

oh come on people, we have minds don't we? we can tell what's right and what's wrong using our minds can't we? sure there are times we need help, but we don't always need them for every little thing don't we?

masi uas smp jumat

2009-05-26T06:05:00.001-07:00

you know i really feel like writing my beliefs just like those good old days. tp kok ga dpt2 ya moodnya?

uas uas uas

2009-05-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

i know i'm supposed to be studying because tomorrow's test is the most killer of all but i really feel like posting. iman came to my house earlier to accompany to study. haha. my friends said yeah as if i can ever study with a boyfriend beside me. but it turned out ok. he was pretty silent most of the time(karena gw jejelin one piece). and i studied pretty well. and every time i start to get bored and starts bugging him, he'll tell me to continue studying haha. gooooood. but over all, we did spare some time to have fun and take pictures and even make a video together.

i don't feel like uploading the video cause it's rebek and it's pretty silly anyway. haha.

and now my studying mood is definitely turned off and i wish iman was here again to turn it back on. sigh.

yesterday, i saw this tarot reader and he read my cards. i'll tell you about it later on cause if yi write in now i could go on rambling and that's not what i want to happen cause my books are right beside me waiting to be fucking studied. fuck.

but i'll write a little more about yesterday. i chatted with 3 of my old friends. baya, monster and sen2. it's been ages since i last talked to them. baya's going to accompany to me to put my cv later next week and we definitely have to stay and chat later on cause we have a lot of catching up to do. and monster and sen2 just the usual chat. honestly, talking to them really does make me feel pretty great. i mean, sure i still keep contact with my high school friends, but only the ones from school. and it's great to spend time talking to some friends outside school because they remind me more of my high school life. and maybe i've been too hooked up with my uni and stuff, it really does feel great to rewind those good old days.

well, back to studying then. uuurrggghhh

why i love omegle so much

2009-05-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

Stranger: 苏州有好多园林，还有很多好吃的东西

You: 啊中国菜！

You: 哈哈

You: 在北京应该只北京烤鸭

You: 一定很好吃

Stranger: 对的

Stranger: 我吃过的~~

Stranger: 你很了解中国啊

Stranger: 不错不错

You: 哈哈谢谢

Stranger: 我都不怎么了解你们国家

Stranger: 你们有很多岛

You: 我不太了解

You: 只知道疑点儿

Stranger: 然后羽毛球很强

Stranger: 林丹经常输给你们

You: 在中国，应该参观长城

You: 故宫，天安门

Stranger: 嗯

hahahahaha

i just feel like posting

2009-05-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

ok so maybe it won't hurt if i gave you all updates of my life which isn't going anywhere. zzzzz

-lately i am soooooooooooooooooo unproductive. i HATE being unproductive. but i at the same time i don't feel like being productive at the moment.

-i'm a vegetarian (again) now. the again refers to that time in the 8th grade where i won't eat animals cause i don't agree with animal slaughter. but that was real brief. this time, i'm doing it for another reason and it's been working really well. OH SHIT!!!! sambil nulis ini gw baru inget. td pas di Y grill gw sempet makan steak punya nykp gw apa ade gw gt. sumpah gw baru nyadar sekarang. but apart from that. i've been meat free for quite someday.

-uas uas uas uas uas

-i'm getting a part time job soon. wish me luck. i'm really looking forward to it.

-it's saturday night but i've been home since 11 and i feels so nyampah.. i have to friggin study because of this friggin uas. it's not that i want to go kelayapan smp pagi and all, tp rasanya kentang aja lg enak2 pergi trs harus balik cepet soalnya masu belajar buat uas. biarpun org blg klo maen minggu di rumah ujung2nya jg ga bljr, tp gw bnran bljr. zzzzzzz

-yaudh deh gw blajar dulu

the case of the disappearing row of seats!!!

2009-05-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

so today there's another one of those thing where a movie is played in my campus's auditorium. instead of watching with iman as i usually do, today i watched with my friend Agis. oh and, the movie was wall-e.

so when i came it, it was pitch black. extremely dark as fuck and i couldn't see a thing. but our eyes got used to the light after a while. ok, stop right there just a second. before i can tell you the main story, i have to describe how my auditorium is like.

my auditorium doesn't have any audience seat. but you can put rows of seats for special occasion. so all in all, the seats in my auditorium is adjustable. you can have them, and you can just leave the floor seatless and sit on the floor.

do you get the picture? if you don't, please write it in my comment because i really want to give you a clear picture.

well, me and agis decided to sit at the very back. it was dark and the rows of seat were so close to each other so to get in we have to pardon ourselves to people sitting in our row. you know, just like you do in the movies when you want to go to the toilet or buy some food. sometimes the people even have to lift up their legs to their seat. once we got to our seat with so much struggle, agis decided to go to the toilet. so she went back and had to apologize to all the people sitting in our row. once agis is back, it was my turn to go to the toilet. trust me, it wasn't easy getting through that tiny space between rows and i had to hold the chairs in the row in front of me to keep my balance. i did the same thing when i was on my way back from the toilet to my seat. once i put my but on my seat. i look up and i was totally between speechless and just too fucking shocked. all i could do was say to agis, "gis, td bukannya di depan kita ada satu row korsi lg ya?" and agis could only go,"iya id iya! oh my!"

the row of seat in front of us have disappeared!!!!

just like that. i don't know where it went. and there was just this gaping space in front of us where we could walk real freely. the row of seat 2 rows in front of us is still there, it's just that the row in front of us disappeared just like THAT

so do you get the story? to make it easier, let's just picture it like this. you're watching a movie on row A which is at he very back. you realized that there is a row B in front of you. then all of a sudden you look up and there is no row B, there's just a row C.

i mean, shittttt. me and agis couldn't even concentrate on the movie. how could a row of seat disappeared in a matter of seconds under our noses! there's just this gaping space in front of us. if the space was there from the beginning, we wouldn't have to bother the people in our row when we went to the toilet. we could just walk and not touch a single person cause the space is just so wide and there's no way on earth we could've missed it.

agis said that no wonder the people were confused when we pardon ourselves and pass really close to them while there is actually a huge gap in front of us.

I TOUCHED THE SEATS IN FRONT OF US FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!

i felt it in my hand. how could it have disappeared?

well, i'm not saying it's possible me and agis were really bele at that time. but we have to be REALLY bele and what are the odds of two people experiencing the same amount of beleness.

oh shit where the fuck this that row go.

FINALLY!!!

2009-05-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

i've finished my first ever rubik's cube!!!!! hahahaha

hey hey

2009-05-20T06:39:00.001-07:00

hey there, i'm just booooreeeed shitless and not in the mood to post anything meaningful. tried solving the rubik's cube. failed miserably, even with clear instructions from youtube. yeah, i'll probably end up switching the stickers again.

maybe one more post won't hurt

2009-05-15T19:43:00.001-07:00

something;s been bugging my mind lately actually. well, iman's list of things to give on mother's day was actually the trigger of it all.

i'm not really close with my parents. i guess, i use to, before the divorce. after that, it's like there's this distance that i can't stop from happening. i've tried a lot of times. trust me. but there's just this invisible 'barrier' that is just there. it's like, deep down somewhere, without me even realizing it, i kind of have lost my trust for them ages ago. sure i still talk to them and go out often and joke at a lot of stuff. introduce my boyfriend and my friends and stuff like that. but it's just, i've never ever plan to give them anything for mother or father's day. let alone mother's day and father's day, i hardly ever congratulate them on their birthday. same goes for lebaran.

the thing is, i don't ever give them anything, a birthday present, a parent's day present. but that's not what matters, i'm worrying more about my the fact that i never even THINK about giving them anything. it's true i guess, i do take my parents for granted.

i guess i do constantly thank god that they're all still alive and well. and the main and sometimes, the only reason i want to be successful is for their sake cause i know that's what they want from me more than something from louis vuitton or mont blanc that i can't even afford for their birthday. but seeing how great they all are, i always think, 'geez, can i ever EVER make them genuinely proud of me?'

since i don't believe in hell, i think, what's my karma for all this?

zzzzzzzzzz

excuse the fact that i use 'all' instead of 'both'

you know what,

2009-05-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

i thk i'm going to take a reallllllyyyyyyyyy long hiatus from this blog. there are things i really want to write down and share actually, personal things and common things. but, i don't know, lately writing in my blog just doesn't feel the way it used to make me feel. i use to be able to go on 4-5 posts a day, but now, let alone a day, i couldn't even post that much in a month. so yeah, see you later. maybe i'll start next month. bye for now!

100

2009-05-10T06:54:00.000-07:00

yun, gw bikin jg yaaaa

001. Real name : Pramesti Widya Kirana
002. Like it? : loves it
003. Nickname(s) : idya
004. Status : in a relationship
005. Zodiac sign : gemini
006. Male or female : female
007. Elementary : SD Tarakanita 1, Hughes Primary School, SDN 05 pagi
008. Middle School : SMP Tarakanita 5
009. High School : SMA Tarakanita 1
010. Hair color : black
011. Long or short : short
012. Eye color : dark brown
013. Weight : 54
014. Height : don't know
015. Righty or lefty : righty
016. Loud or Quiet : both
017. Sweats or Jeans : jeans, qu nali2
018. Phone or Camera : camera
019. Health freak : no
020. Piercings? : yes
021. Do you have a crush on someone? : yes,my boyfriend
022. Eat or Drink : eat
023. Purse or Backpack : backpack
024. Tattoos : curious, but no
025. Do You Like Yourself? : yes
026. Current worry? : lulus bahasa cina modern

THIS OR THAT:
027. Orange or Apple Juice? : orange
028. Night or Day? : day
029. Sun or Moon? : moon
030. TV or Internet? : internet
031.PlayStation or XBox? : play station
032. Kiss or Hug? : kiss
033. Iguana or Turtle? : turtles
034. Spider or Bee? : bee
035. Fall or Spring? : fall
036. Limewire or iTunes? : limewire
037. Soccer or Baseball? : soccer

FIRSTS:
038. First surgery : never. not anytime soon i hope
039. First piercing : don't remember
040. First best friend : lots
041. First Sport? : gymnastics
042. First award : fashion show when i was in kindergarten
043. First crush : a friend from primary school
044. First pet : dog
045. First big vacation : australia. i think
046. First big birthday : 5 years old

CURRENTLY:
047. Eating : nothing
048. Drinking : water
049. I'm about to : eat, and ask my mum for something from ebay. teehee
050. Listening to : nothing
051. Singing? : the fear-lily allen
052. Typing? : this
053. Waiting for : food

YOUR FUTURE:
054. Want kids? : yes. definitely
055. When? : after marriage
056. Want to get married? : of course
057. When? : not anytime soon
058. Where Do You Want To Live? : jakarta
059. Careers in mind : news reporter, sinologist, AUTHOR
060. What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? : mbak2 yg mencetin lift. for real
061. Mellow Future Or Wild? : WILD!
062. Something You Would Never Try? : eating cockroaches

WHICH IS BETTER WITH BOY?
063. Lips or eyes : eyes
064. Shorter or taller? : taller
065. Romantic or spontaneous : romantic
066. Nice stomach or nice arms : NICE STOMACH!!
067. Sensitive or loud : sensitive
068. Hook-up or relationship : hook-up
069. Trouble maker or hesitant : trouble maker
070. Hugging or Kissing? : kissing
071. Tan Skinned or Light? : tanned
072. Dark or Light Hair? : dark
073. Muscular or Normal? : normal

HAVE YOU EVER:
074. Lost glasses/contacts : all the time/ constantly
075. Ran away from home : never
076. Held a gun/knife for self defense? : thank god, no
077. Killed somebody : no
078. Broken someone's heart : yes
079. Been arrested : no
080. Cried when someone died : of course
081. Kissed A Stranger? : no
082. Climbed Up A Tree? : yes
083. Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? : yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
084. Yourself : at times
085. Miracles : yes
086. Love at first sight : no
087. Heaven : hmmmm, i'd like to believe it's true
088. Santa Claus : no
089. Kiss on the first date : no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
090. Is there one person you want to be with right now : iman iman iman
091. Do You Like Someone? : my boyfriend!
092. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life : not until i become and official author
093. Do you believe in God : yes, but i have my own concept of god though

LASTS
094. Recieved/Sent Text Message : kgn deeeeh --> to iman. hahaa
095. Received Call : papa
096. Call Made? : om de
097. Comment On MySpace? : wo jie shou le-> from deni july 26 2008 haha
098. Missed Call? : i haven't saved the number. forgot who it is
099. Person You Hung out With? : nindi

100. tag tag tag tag tag