rajin males?

i hate being stupid. i hate passing all 15 years with ok grades. with grades that's just somewhere above the ok zone. never in my life i was top 10 in class and never have my grades been satisfying. they're always just ok.

studying doesn't make you smart either. it just makes you remember all the stuff your teacher said in class or everything that's written in the book, but it doesn't make you able to analyze some literature work or make awesome mind blowing essays and it still doesn't make you able to pass those smart ones that are always there no matter what school you go to. i mean, have you ever heard of an anak rajin ranking 1 di kelas? it's always the smart ones. the ones who seem to have the brain of albert einstein's great grandchildren or something.

being rajin doesn't make you able to come out with awesome ideas on what to analyze or discuss on your final project, rajin people ends up being passive. whereas smart people's brain are always so active coming up with the newest things and not needing that much time. they only need like one tenth or one hundredth of the time that rajin people need to understand the exact same thing they're being thought. smart people can use the remaining time to do what they want whereas making them active and involved in so many new things wowing people even further. rajin people take up hours and hours and days and weeks to study for an exam and still doesn't always nail it. losing all those hours in where they can actually do other activities. honestly until now i don't get why god invent smart people. i know everyone has their own talent and ability, i know i know, but being smart is one hell of an ability. seriously. it's something everyone will want to own. it's something that can make parents and families and friends proud. on the other hand, rajin people can try as much as they want. they may succeed or they may like most times fail. and when they fail, nobody pretty much cares about the effort shown all along. i know in movies people strive to get what they want and stuff, but yeah right things like that will never happen in real life.

true what my friend says, ga ada orang rajin masuk itb, pasti yg masuk orang2 pinter. it's true sih, every person i know who got into itb ga ada yang cuma modal rajin, pasti emang pinter dari sananya. unlike me who made it to ui cause ui's recruiting like 3 times more students than usual cause they need the money.

eneg bgt sumpah, i wish i was smart. it's the one thing i want more than anything in the world

really really late night thoughts

Dear god, thank you for the opportunities that you have given me in live. i know this sounds really cliche but i really really mean it. all those opportunities mean so much to me, those that i take or the ones that i don't. i realized that i never once regret taking an opportunity that lies ahead of me, though i realize i let go quite a lot of them. i will try to not do that again, i know you have big plans for me and i am willing to fulfill them will all that i have. i just hope "males" doesn't stay so much in the way because it usually does. lot's and lot's of time.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

so i haven't read in aaaagggesss, and when i decided to pick something up again i was sooo scared that the book would be disappointing and that i'd lost mood in reading again. i ended up choosing the girl with the dragon tattoo and let me tell you that's it was the best choice i could probably make.

This is book is AMAZING. I don't even have words to describe it. it surely is one of the best books i've ever read.

The story is about journalist Mikael Blomkvist who is assigned to find a woman that has been missing for 40 years. He is then helped by Lisbeth Salander, genius hacker/researcher, to find the long-lost Harriet Vanger.

When Harriet went missing, the police searched for her for years and a very thorough search it was, but nevertheless Harriet was never found. So it's a huge challange for Mikael and Lisbeth to search for someone whose been missing for 40 years. All the clues are gone, the police have gone through everything, so what more to look for? but the amazing duo managed to find something the police and all other investigators have missed.

I love how Stieg Larsson made such strong strong characters. Lisbeth Salander aka the girl with the dragon tattoo is soooooo cool beyond repair. she is just so aaarrrghh!!! she's so darn amazing i don't even know where to begin. you'll definitely drop your jaw several times through the book at seeing Lisbeth in action.

I just watched the movie adaptation of this book and it was pretty ok. as usual, some parts were changed, but mostly things stayed the way they were. i was just slightly disappointed at how they picture Lisbeth.

In the book, Lisbeth was 24 but could easily be mistaken for a teenager because of her small figure. But in the movie she looked kind of old, like she's almost 30. She's also really tall in the movie, and too boyish. I've always imagined Lisbeth as a person who dresses like a punk but could still wear a black skirt and tights. But well, overall she is the Lisbeth Salander. Her personality is exactly the same, just a little different on the appearance.

All in all. i recommend this book to EVERYONE. you won't regret it I swear, it's so amazing i'm just completely out of words for it.

Anyway, they're making the hollywood version of the movie as i speak. Daniel Craig is going to play Mikael Blomkvist and Lisbeth will be played by Rooney Mara, the girl who played Mark's ex-girlfriend in the social network. i hope she's better than the earlier screen version of Lisbeth sooo can't wait for the movie!

top 5 people i would like to meet

ok, so you are probably getting tired of my blog cause it's filled with my long rants, ramblings and curhats and whats its. sooo, today i am going to write about the 5 people i'd love to meet. this is actually kind of a challenge for me cause it's hard to utter why i want to meet them.

1. Kim Kibum @ikmubmik

Only because he is the best looking guy alive. well to me that is. he knows how to look right and i would GIVE to meet him

2&3. Trey Parker and Matt Stone

They're an item, i can't separate these two cause i want to meet both at the same time and if i had to choose, i wouldn't be able too. I don't know what goes on in their brains so that they could create such genius work. i love every bit of south park. the sarcasm, the critics it makes about society, religion and pretty much everything else. south park has been going on for almost 15 years and i know that it'll one day come to an end, like it or not. but i don't think i will be able to let the 4 boys go. ever, ever.

4. Yoko Ono @yokoono

Only because the is soooo amazing in so many ways. Fighting for peace though the whole world hates her. Also her relationship with John, it's the sweetest thing. i don't think i've seen a couple more in love. Last, i can't bring myself to imagine what it felt like to have your husband dying in your arms.

5. Lee Seunggi

Won an award for best emcee, best singer, and is an AMAZING actor. and unlike most korean stars, he's never had a plastic surgery.

20 and still figuring

so my parents have kept asking me about what i want to do with my life. i tell them i want to work at probably jakarta post for a year after i graduate and then continue with my postgraduate after.

i dont know why it's sooooo hard to tell them this but THIS is what i really REALLY want:

-graduate and move my ass out of my parent's house. (i've been saving)

-get a job

-travel around indonesia

-get married

-become a full-time mother

i know my parents will go ballistic if they knew that's what i really wanted in life. they (like well other people hearing this) will think that i'm throwing my life away my getting married early and not working after i have kids. but hey who can blame me? that's what I want. more than anything in the whole wide world. so i don't see why it would be a waste. well maybe if i have to i'll probably squeeze in post-graduate somewhere in there.

the thing is, i feel that throughout my 20 years of life, my mum was never really there. i know it may not be fair to say this at all cause i don't know what it's like to be in her position, but i'm just saying what i feel. she leaves the responsibility of having children to others. i was raised mostly by hired people rather than my mum herself. until now, there are so many things she doesn't know about me. what annoys me the most is that she never ever listens. ever, it's like, no matter what i say or what i try to tell her, her ears aren't there. she always mentions something else completely irrelevant or straightforwardly say that i'm wrong.

i can never know whether i'm going to be a good mother or not. but the least i can do is try and not make the same mistakes.

:( ?

Sumpah gw ga tau dan ga tau caranya untuk tau pacara gw apa kabar, masih mau pacaran apa nggak,udh nemu yg baru apa blm, masih inget gw apa ga.

1,5 year to go!

i'm already in my third year of college without me realizing it. it feels like it was only yesterday i was awestruck by everything in my campus and by the many kinds of people i meet and i was so so eager to learn when i first got in. i was so happy it was like a dream come true and i know so very much that one day, i will get sick of it all. all.

well, that day is here.

i have been striving for survival for the past 4 semesters. at school i was never really that smart, and i'd really really like to change that. in college, i'm not smart either, i'm feel like i'm always the lowest in class and all but i think my grades are more important than anything. i never really aimed that high, i just want to pass on all of my classes. i just want to finish college in 4 years or less. since i'm not that smart to begin with, i had to really work my ass to get there, thank god i managed the last 2 years ok. sure there were bruises here and there, but thank god i managed to pass all classes and i think my GPA is pretty ok, it's NOTHING compared to the others in my class, but i know my own strength and so far i think i've done what i can.

but after 2 years of trying, it just gets sooooo tiring. after 2 years of wanting to pass everything cleanly, without cheating, everything becomes so messed up. i hate this semester more than anything. i don't have a favorite subjects, i feel like my teachers are trying to kill me though i know they are helping, but i'm the one being help is so tired of trying. i have no mood to study anymore because i hate the fact that the curriculum is so effing stiff and i haven't been able to learn the language on my own by watching tv or listening to songs or whatever. and i hate that i have to study history every fucking semester from semester 1-5. history is the subject i have always hated ever since i first came contact with it. and i hate that my favorite subject ever, culture studies. is only studied in 1 fucking semester like seriously fuck.

i still tutor my precious pupils, 3 times a week, sometimes more. i don't think they are taking my study time at all, coming to see them is a real treat. being in contact with them reminds me of how happy it was to be young. they are so happy and full of energy and i LOVE, more than anything, sharing with them what i know. tutoring them makes me feel like i actually have a purpose in life. like i'm actually useful for something. it's just fascinating how you tell them something that you always thought was just simple knowledge but they're so awed by it.

lately, i've been asked to teach 8th grade science, and i was like, what? i suck at science? but the mother of my pupil kinda forced me to do it, so i did it. and i was soooooo surprised at how much i still remember from what my 6th grade teacher taught me. i mean, i didn't need to look at books that much, i just told my pupil everything i know and it really does make me feel alive. i can't believe how much teachers were such an inspiration and how much they've done for us.

ok i'm rambling, the point is, i love tutoring because not only my pupils learn, i do too. i love reading articles they brought home from school, i like listening to their stories of how they're school life is like.

jadi intinya gw mau ngmngin tutoring apa cape kuliah sih? haha i don't know either i just went where my fingers took me. i just hope more than anything that i still pass this semester.