hell to the o

hell-o!

gosh i feel like it's been ages since i wrote here. my blog's glory days are over. yaha as if my blog ever had it's glory days.

i mean, i use to like post 5 times each day. and now my blog is neglected as shit. it's like there's a tumbleweed passing by when you open it complete with the wind blowing sound effect. anyway is there a place i can get a tumbleweed for my blog? haha. it would be pretty cool.

so here i am, back at my blogspot page, a place that used to be my comfort zone. what got me going everyday. i remember posting everytime, through my mobile phone, through everywhere.

i don't have that much crazy thoughts to share today. cause lately i just let my crazy thoughts linger. but i just feel like writing. cause i feel that only by writing i can truly get a hold of myself. i have to do it every now and then or else i'll get lost in my stream of thoughts.

classes are starting next week. i'm staying in FIB and not moving anywhere, THANK GOD for that. but you know, i speak for the whole faculty when i say i have to get used to people going, 'lo di sastra? mau jadi apa deh?'

ooh that's not it. pertanyaannya macem2. di modif2. lama2 gw koleksi deh. ada yg blg, 'haha gw aja bingung lo mau jadi apa?' ada jg yg blg, 'kok sastra si? arsitek dong, klo ga kedokteran.'

yeah kedokteran my ass.

that there, that's something i will have to get used to. like it or not. it's something that i have to prove. we will be friggin' something ok. better, we will be somebody. aarrghh i really wish i could prove it like now or something tp gw magerrr pollllllllllllll. gw tu sering kepikiran mau nulis lah, mau beraktivitas lah, mau produktif lah. ujung2nya nyampah aja gt di rumah. mana itu moto hidup lo yg prove you exist. or, scratch your name into the surface of this world lah or apa. sometimes i think i'm putting too much on myself. or not, i don't know. i pressure myself to be big and to make a change and so on and so on. but sometimes i just want to live my life. be normal. sit back and do stuff i want to do and feel like doing without any pressure.

ok, to make it more clear. i love writing, more than anything. like i said, it's the only thing that's keeping me sane throughout all these years. i know that one day i will make myself write for a cause. make a difference by my writings with hopes that it can last for years to come. down to the next generation. even if that doesn't happen, it's ok. at least i tried. tapi gw males mulaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. god damn it males bgt mulainya ya olooooohhh.  padahal gw tau, if not now, then when? i'll be old with a job and kids and a family to take care of soon. so kapan lg mau berkarya???

phew. that felt good.