zhengzai ting che the ting tings

hey peeps, this post is going to be about me and me alone. so no more religion talk for a while and all that usual stuff i go around rambling about.

soooo, i decided to join the taekwondo team in my faculty. i kind of miss it, i mean, it's been like 5 years since my last practice. i tried everything at campus and i failed miserably at each and every one of it. EDS, liga tari, futsal. i thought, seriously, dari segini banyak wadah buat menampung minta dan bakat di ui, gw ga ada yg masuk gt? ya well the only wadah i want to join is like this community where everyone can speak up about their beliefs--out of those 5 major religion in indonesia-- and bring religious fairness to the campus. i mean, the campus should also have a church and a temple, not just a mosque. and when we're separated to join those religious mentorings, there should be one for those who has a belief out of those 5. ANYWAAAAAAYYY, i thought i said no religion talks. haha. well, i guess that's pretty much stuck with me.

so i decided i wanted to join taekwondo. not the UI one, but just the FIB one. what made me quit those 3 earlier activities i joined was because everyone else was already sooooo good at it cause they've been doing it since high school and i just started. that made me feel paling bego and pretty jiper. taekwondo here, is a different story. i've alraedy got up to kuning strip and the others are still white, so yeah, gw agak lebih bisa sedikit dr yg laen. i got a head start, all's fair is fair.

in my second practice my tutor--in this case it's called sabeum--told me that i should compete in olimpiade ui aka asteroid. eeerr, i thought he was kidding but he said i really had the potential and so and so. hmmmm i have to admit i'm more scared than happy. ok, so i may know the basics to kicking, but my fighting techniques are hmmmm, i don't know. i mean i really don't know. i haven't fought in like 5 years. and when they fight they kick with all their might so i'm kind of scared i might fall to pieces and stuff.

well, my point in writing this is, join something you're good at. seriously. this really really brings out your self-esteem. my grades are flunking like effing crazy this semester. and everyone else in my class is waaaaay smarter and me, well maybe not smarter but friggin rajin. heran gw, kapan gw bisa kaya gitu. so i decided to join something where i have an ability a bit above others. that really does makes you feel good, seriously. doesn't make you feel bele2 amat in life for not being able to do one thing.

thk u for tuning peeps!

:p

so the i was sitting on my so-called throne with all my so-called jewels and fancy clothes

when all of a sudden you came

you took me by the hand and guided me of my throne ever so carefully,

afraid that i might trip anytime cause of my pointy glass slipper

i didn't know where we were going and i wanted to say no

i wanted to let go more than anything and get back up to my comfort zone

this is all to weird, i can't take another second

but at the same time, i couldn't find the heart to let go of your hand

i've never felt such, such... touch

so i cling on tighter

this is getting better

i looked back

i can hardly see my throne anymore

i can't believe we've walked this far

and these, these pearls and diamonds are seriously disturbing

they feel so heavy around my neck

i can't believe i've never realized how annoying they were

neither could i stand the clickity clack of my glass slipper

i can't move my fingers freely cause of all this rings,

let alone the clinging bracelets which are starting to make my wrist ache

wait just a moment please, i pleaded

and for the first time i let go of his hand

and of all those glittery items from my body

what should i do with these? said i, by now confused and realizing all those stuff weighs a ton

keep them, he answered. you'll never know, you might need them again

bingung ngelanjutinnya gmn. hahahaa

confessions on life, death and god

hey people!

i can't wait to get a hold of this hot stuff

the secrets on life, and god are really great. i've never been interested in death, but the death secrets are ok too.

anyway, really for one of my old 'religious' posts? hehe. well, here goes one.

but before i continue, i'd like to say that i can't promise this to be as good as my old posts. but, well, here goes nothing.

me and vani were sitting as kansas as usual today and the guys sitting at the table next to us were talking really loudly. we never meant to eavesdrop, but we can't help overhearing. haha yeah, cliche. they happen to be having a debate about religion, something not so unusual around FIB actually. so me and vani decided to just shut our pieholes and listen.

so there is this one guy with the theory--which i'm sure a lot of you know--where only muslims get to go to heaven. there's this other guy, who, like many other guys we've known before him, disagree to that statement by saying that he thinks it wouldn't be fair if non-muslims are good but end up in hell anyway.

what, i am not familiar with is, the way this guy seems COMPLETELY offended by the disagreement of his friend. he said, " Nggak bisa! Nggak bisa gt Ga. wah kacau lo, nggak bisa gt sumpah, gw nggak terima. lo, lo, sumpah ya, lo ngatain tuhan gw nggak adil. gw ga terima Ga. kacau bgt lo."

yeah, ok, santai nyet.

then this guy whom we know as "Ga" says, that's what people raised the muslim way in a muslim society would think of. then he goes on and says(in indonesian, of course), "imagine if you were born christian, and raised in a christian way. would you think the same?"

well, that was pretty much the end of it. i forgot how it ended. was it because i decided to stop listening because my brain was already spinning with theories of my own i would like to share, or was it because the second guy was stumped, or because i couldn't stand listening to that absurd guy speak anymore. but i guess, it was all of those reasons combined.

so? what do you guys think about this?

well, again, i have to repeat that i don't really believe in heaven.i mean, it's not that i don't believe it, but, i don't know. i just don't ok. i can't go around believing that only muslims go to heaven.

oooooooowwhhhh i forgot one tiny detail.

when one guy said a non-muslim could also go to heaven from being nice and not evil, the other guy said nice is not enough. he said that the reason for a person to live is to be good AND worship allah. no matter how good a person is, they will still be doomed for not worshipping allah. the muslim allah, not the catholic allah.

well, i think i've posted enough theories in my previous posts. this time, i would actually like to hear from you people.

i've lived with non-muslims all my life. and i daresay they are just normal people who deserves to go to heaven and live their life as fair as any other religion member for that matter.

*see, it's not as good as my old posts :(

:)))))

i'm glad i came across you.

i'm glad i did that stupid sumpah pemuda orasi even though i was THIS CLOSE to walking away from it. i'm glad i chose to ride the cheap cheap train to campus rather than being a brat and be driven to campus everyday. i'm glad i got into this major and in to FIB. i'm glad i chose that class for my english class.

all those choices are what made me end up meeting you. i wouldn't have ended up with you if i chose i thing differently.

1 tiny choice really do make a difference.

i'm glad i went to bali and spend my time there with me. that was such an experience and i feel soooo lucky to have passed it.

i'm glad i did the things i did with you. i heart you more by the day boyfriend!

happy belated lebaran!

hey people, sorry for the long hiatus. i don't know, i just don't feel like updating lately. god knows why. sometimes i think it's the feng shui in my room. but at times, i figured i'm just lazy.

so so, what do you want to discuss today? gosh, don't you miss those long boring religion lectures i use to give? haha. well, i know i miss giving them. 

what's been bugging my mind lately is well hmmm my major. well, not exactly my major si sebenernya. but my friggin hobby. hahaha. i love to write, as some of you may already know. i know my writing pretty much sucks most of the time but i love doing it. i usually need a lot of strength and willpower to drag my ass and write. but once i do it, i can't exactly stop. it's tooooo much fun. therefore, i know that my sole purpose of existence is to make a change by writing.

two of my favorite quotes are

'scratch your name into surface of this world, before you go.' by the noisettes which is actually a song lyric, not exactly a quote. 

second is, 'prove you exist'

in a nutshell, i believe that everyone is supposed to make a contribution to earth in a way and well, for some reason, i do not want to die someday and not be remembered

i guess this is all because of he movie TROY. when thetis, achilles' mum said to achilles that he can just stay home and have children and be remembered by his grandchildren and all. but if he goes to war, he will be remembered and cherished in years to come. 

i want to beeee like that. i want to be remembered in years to come for that so-called contribution which i have made.

i believe that everybody is given a special gift and interest by god. maximize it. use it to scratch your name and prove you exist. if you're good and love dancing, then dance away! don't let anything get in the way. you can be a legend like michael jackson or isadora duncan. if you think drawing is your thing then go ahead and draw what comes to mind! if you love accounting and science and stuff and go ahead, learn it properly then apply it wisely later on in life. the world pretty much depends on our generation.

well back to me, since this is my blog. teehee

i feel like my 'thing' is writing and that is how i am supposed to make dedications to this world.  but then again, i'm still to lazy to start anything. zzzzzzzzzzz. i wish i wasn't such a procrastinator.

more trash blogging, horray for trash blogging

i still haven't found the mood to go back to campus. seriously. gosh this really sucks ass. i mean, what with all the new schedule i'm still not used to and the shitload of work i have no intention to even touch or bother knowing. boyfriend's on a different faculty, more stupid homework. even more shit coming and so on and so on. oh and the campus is swarming with mabas. nyeaaah, sometimes they get on my nerves. sometimes.

i've been on hold for like 3 months! i need god damn adaptation. i want my old teachers back, ones that i'm already comfortable with. i want to go back to last year where we are the newbies trying everything new in sight. this new semester is just stupid stupid stupid and i really have no mood to even start making my homework for tomorrow. i know i'm not making sense and practically repeating everything but i just hate the new semester!!!! aarrggghhhh fuck fuckity fuck.

sure it's pretty naive if you want 4 years of uni to be all as smooth as your first year. all as fun, all as exciting with a little spice here and there. but i really do wish it was like that still. sigh

males ngapa2in akhirnya gw ngeblog sampah

i am soooo sorry about what i have done. i guess i went a little to far. sometimes i just don't know my boundaries and i'm starting to wonder, when will i EVER learn??

mau berapa kali lagi kaya gini? i don't even know where to start writing.

anyway, karma will come back around and i WILL get what i deserve.

to the people i have caused harm to, i am SO SORRY. i never thought things would be this messed up.