happy 20th :)

so the guy i've spent my life with for the last 1 year and 3 months just celebrated his birthday 2 days ago. yeah this post is a little late but better late than never. as a little gift, i'm going to dedicate this post to him.

first thing, me and iman is not a pair of dream couple and we're not exactly the couple that makes other people jealous. to be honest, he is the exact opposite of EVERYTHING i want in a guy (except for the fact that he's left handed, cause i just love that in guys). i don't even know what made me fell for him in the first time, but something just sparked.

in the past year, we fight way way more than the normal dose. we argue about the littlest thing, about the biggest of things and shit and we broke up and make up constantly.we also went to a bunch of things i never even dreamed would have to experience.

we hook up when we were both 18 and now we're both 20. this is the turning point of our lives. of everybody's life actually. the age where you learn about how to face life and the time you actually grow up and matures. i always thought i could do it alone, but boy was i wrong.

iman has thought me more than anything i could ever imagine. he doesn't really teach me actually, but he made me realize, made me open my eyes to the things that were always there but i never knew existed. he made me realize things that i am now more grateful than ever to have realize and i could never have imagined how my life would've turned out if he was never there to begin with.

it's like, when you're going through tough times, you pick a buddy. pick a friend. pick someone that you can actually trust. i'm lucky enough to actually have someone to be my 'growing up buddy'. i knew i could never ever asked for anyone better.

i love how i would rant on about some stuff that i'm going through and how i would just complain complain complain. but with just one or two sentences, he could pretty much changed everything. i don't know how you do it, but you're plain awesome.

cheers, may we still be together for the years to come

unfortunately, all good things do come to an end

so my holiday's been great and i just got back from japan and all and i thought about posting pictures and stories but i really am not in the mood.

it's been a year and 3 months since me and my current boyfriend started seeing each other. in that 1 year and 3 months we break-up and make-up continuously until it sickens each other and everyone around us. but weird thing is, after all those fights, all those nonsense arguments, you end up really knowing a person and really learn to appreciate them. lately things have been amazing, and we didn't just get to this point just like that, we fought for it, we strive for it, bottom line is, we earned it.

some of you reading this may know that our relationship has never really been that serious. i mean, we're more of the right now couple. never have any plans to go any further.

but then earlier today i was jokingly saying if we'll still be together for the next world cup and he said something in the lines of, "of course not, that's ages from now."

well i know this is truer than true, neither of us plans to spend the rest of our lives with each other. but really, this gets me thinking.

if you've been to hell and back with a person, you'll really feel that you have a connection with them. i dare say that now, i'm most comfortable with him than anyone else i can thing of. i can't see myself with another person. for now, that just seems all wrong.

right now, i'm just dead scared that we'll both come to that point where we come to think, 'if this is going nowhere, then why am i still here? why fight for something we know will never last?'

but at the same time, i still want to be together.

oh goodness gracious, now i'm confused.