20 and still figuring

so my parents have kept asking me about what i want to do with my life. i tell them i want to work at probably jakarta post for a year after i graduate and then continue with my postgraduate after.

i dont know why it's sooooo hard to tell them this but THIS is what i really REALLY want:

-graduate and move my ass out of my parent's house. (i've been saving)

-get a job

-travel around indonesia

-get married

-become a full-time mother

i know my parents will go ballistic if they knew that's what i really wanted in life. they (like well other people hearing this) will think that i'm throwing my life away my getting married early and not working after i have kids. but hey who can blame me? that's what I want. more than anything in the whole wide world. so i don't see why it would be a waste. well maybe if i have to i'll probably squeeze in post-graduate somewhere in there.

the thing is, i feel that throughout my 20 years of life, my mum was never really there. i know it may not be fair to say this at all cause i don't know what it's like to be in her position, but i'm just saying what i feel. she leaves the responsibility of having children to others. i was raised mostly by hired people rather than my mum herself. until now, there are so many things she doesn't know about me. what annoys me the most is that she never ever listens. ever, it's like, no matter what i say or what i try to tell her, her ears aren't there. she always mentions something else completely irrelevant or straightforwardly say that i'm wrong.

i can never know whether i'm going to be a good mother or not. but the least i can do is try and not make the same mistakes.