last days in fib

lately, i don't know why, it's just been sooo hard for me to cry. i re-watched sad movie and i didn't cry, i watched marley and me and i didn't cry, i watched the season finale of grey's anatomy and i didn't cry(ini gw bingung bgt). but i just wrote iman's goodbye note in facebook and i've only just read the few lines and tears started coming down. by the time i finished reading, i cried myself shitless. it was just soooooo sad. the thought of him having to leave his closest friends just kills me.

here, i'll post the letter here. it'll probably send me back to tears again but whatever.

yah minggu ini minggu terakhir gue d fib. artinya gue gk bakal nemuin makhluk2 kyk lo2 lg d fisip. dan gk ada si wo dsana. buat gue pindah k fiib berarti gue keilangan bgt tmn2 gue yg udh gue anggep kyk sodara. gue seneng bgt masuk fib. karena gue dapetin tmn baru dan juga pacar baru. haha. yg ga ada senioritas jg minoritas. pertama kali gua masuk fib sih kesannya biasa aja jlek lg gedungnya.haha. gue jg liat tmn2 gue yg baru kok gini2 amat yak. tp seiring dengan berjalannya waktu. gue sadar kalo mereka baik bgt dan bner2 menerima satu sama lain. fib itu tmpt lo bisa ngejalanin sesuatu tanpa kepura2an. semua org menerima lo apa adanya. mereka org2 yg lebih mikir k bwh drpd k atas. dan gue ngerasa gue menemukan tmpat gue aja d fib. gue masi inget si sodik yg manggil gue tempa tempe lah. anak2 cwe manggil gue aimen lah. irwindo yg gk jelas. ceng2an ama marsha. dcengin ama acong. nyiksa si zae dan tata jg. maen ama non reg drumput. maen futsal bola brg. kulturfest. maen petasan d gedung 9. ahaha. maen d kansas ampe malem. masuk kls frau leli (yg bikin ngantuk amat ni kuliah). kenalan ama tuti dsb. maen k kosan dela ama si sinta. nyiksa si icha d leher ampe kejang2 dia. hahaaha. bilang k indra " ndra siaga satu ndra, ada ratu kansas mau dtg " ama cengan kulit duku dr si medi. hahha. solat jumat brg. liat fandy begituan. uas pske. maen capsa. terlalu byk ingatan gue walaupun cm 2 smster disini. makanya gue sempet mikir pas mau pindah dr fib. karena gue punya keluarga baru d fib.( bukan keluarga abang ye). lo gue anggep tmn2 gue yg plg deket.( lebay ih iman ih). hahaha. tp satu yg jelas. semoga gue masi bisa k kansas smster dpn. ngeliat lo2 pd lg. trus masi menjaga hubungan pertemanan gue ama lo2 semua ank jerman. terima kasih atas kemurahan hati lo smua ank2 jerman. gue gk tau cara ngebls lo smua

 no it did not send me to tears this time actually. thank god. cape jg gw nangis. 

this also really got me thinking,'segitu beratnya lho ninggalin fib.'

hmmmmmm

anyway, i'm glad i spent my last few weeks in fib with iman in the most amazing ways i can imagine. we have our moments and our corners and we've laughed and we've pissed each other off and i will never forget those days.

it's really going to be hard entering kansas and not seeing him amidst his friends from german studies.

last friday was his last day in fib(it could also be my last!). honestly, i kind of regretted ending his days in fib in a pretty big fight in gedung 9 over something completely unimportant. i started the fight and it was all my doing. he was just so confused and frustrated about my behaviour, he wen't straight home. well not exactly home, solat jumat dulu di istiqlal. haha. (penting abis gw tulis).

well all in all, have a fun new life in fisip boy! i know you'll do great cause you really are a chameleon. you fit and adapt well pretty much everywhere. =)

toy story 3!

i could just watch this over and over and over! can't wait!!!!

F I B

kenapa gw harus di fib? kenapa fakultas yg harus gw tinggalin klo keterima snmptn adalah fib? knp fib tu paraaaaah bgt pwnya? knp fib udah mendarah daging bgt di gw? knp gw harus sayang bgt sm fib? knp gw betah bgt berjam2 di kansas? knp gw pas pertama kali masuk kelas di fib trus ngeliat keluar jendela, pemandangannya BGS BGT(6210)? knp gw belajar maen capsa di fib? knp gw belajar maen futsal di fib? knp tmn2 gw di fib ENAK BGT? knp gw kenalan sm iman di fib? knp gw i love every little god damned thing about fib(except the toilets maybe)? knp klo tmn2 gw lg cerita ttg ga enaknya lingkungan kuliah mereka gw selalu bersyukur gw punya fib?  kenapa perpus fib itu enaaaaak bgt? shit, there are sooooooooooo many more things about fib that i love. meskipun gw blom tentu ninggalin jg, tp the thought itself just makes me go all.......... i can't even find a word for this

ok, now i'm confused

ok. too much is going on right now and i really need to pull myself together.

first of all, gw masi cape abis latian drama. cape cape cape cape. trus masa td kan baju gw agak2 lebih ketat dari kaos2 yg gw pake ke kampus kan, trus gw pulang pake jaket MUnya iman. hahaha. kocak aja si, secara MU baru kalah semalem. dan PANAS YA!

but what's been bugging me is, gw penasaran bgt ikut snmptn lagi. shiteeeeeee. umb ga bisa, it's too late. tp snmptn masi sebulan lebih. malah hampir dua bulan. daaaaan setelah perundingan dgn bonyok gw, gw memutuskan ikut.

shit shit shit, skrg gw bingung. gw PGN BGTTT keterima snmptn. tapi at the same time gw udah PW bgt di cina. sumpah. parah parah parah. paraaaaaaaahhhhhh. sumpah itu pasti susaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh bgtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ninggalin tmn2 gw di cina, trus ninggalin pelajaran2 gw di kelas, ninggalin kansas! and overall, ninggalin FIB!!!!!

sumpah bisa gila gw bnran deh. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. jd trus gmn dong dong dong dong???? masalahnya gw jg ga mau terus di cina tp penasaraaaaaannnnnnn. gw harus melakukan ngilangin penasaran gw! aaaah shit shit shit.

bingung euy. sumpah bingung. paraaaaaaahhhh

uas is finally over

well except for pengantar kesusastraan, but at least the worst is over. so i think it's time to write about that day i got my fortune told.

so it was my aunt and my nephew's birthday and my aunt called in a tarot reader just for fun. i had my fortune told and honestly, he almost got everything right. even the many people who got their fortune told before me said so. i mean, the guy was right about everything i was going through.

the thing is, you know how fortune telling is a percaya ga percaya thing? well, i think, if you believe in fortune telling, god will make it a media to send messages to you. and if you don't believe it then god won't, cause he knows you won't even budge after hearing all that. so for example, if i was told that i will finish my study in uni quickly and get my dream job--which unfortunately i was not--if i believed it, it will encourage me to do study well and get there faster. and if i was told i could make that change i've always wanted to see in the world, then it would encourage me to do it faster.

so, my point is, i don't believe that fortune telling is a sin. i mean, sure that's what religions tell us. but life isn't all black and white. it isn't all write and wrong. i mean, i'm sure god has a better way of thinking rather just plain black and white, right and wrong. bener salah, dosa pahala.

me and my friends have been going to fisip really often these last few days. the reason is to buy that amazing double oreo milkshake with rum. seriously, they're really great. i don't mind having them everyday. we all go there just to have fun, but the thing is, sentences such as, " ini sebenernya dosa ga si?" is pretty much inevitable. the most common answer to that is just plain,"yaelah dikit doang." which i think doesn't really make sense cause the rules states that you're not even allowed to drink a drop. if you believe that is. but i've also heard some people fiddling around with the rules. the rules states that you are not allowed to drink what makes you drunk. so some friends of mine assume, as long's as you stay sober, it's not a sin.

well, honestly, honestly, this is one of the cons of religions. everything is soooooo set. everything is either right or wrong, bener atau salah, dosa atau pahala. once you find yourself in a grey area, you get all confused and search for a rule that makes you sure what to do.

oh come on people, we have minds don't we? we can tell what's right and what's wrong using our minds can't we? sure there are times we need help, but we don't always need them for every little thing don't we?

masi uas smp jumat

you know i really feel like writing my beliefs just like those good old days. tp kok ga dpt2 ya moodnya?

uas uas uas

i know i'm supposed to be studying because tomorrow's test is the most killer of all but i really feel like posting. iman came to my house earlier to accompany to study. haha. my friends said yeah as if i can ever study with a boyfriend beside me. but it turned out ok. he was pretty silent most of the time(karena gw jejelin one piece). and i studied pretty well. and every time i start to get bored and starts bugging him, he'll tell me to continue studying haha. gooooood. but over all,  we did spare some time to have fun and take pictures and even make a video together.

i don't feel like uploading the video cause it's rebek and it's pretty silly anyway. haha.

and now my studying mood is definitely turned off and i wish iman was here again to turn it back on. sigh.

yesterday, i saw this tarot reader and he read my cards. i'll tell you about it later on cause if yi write in now i could go on rambling and that's not what i want to happen cause my books are right beside me waiting to be fucking studied. fuck.

but i'll write a little more about yesterday. i chatted with 3 of my old friends. baya, monster and sen2. it's been ages since i last talked to them. baya's going to accompany to me to put my cv later next week and we definitely have to stay and chat later on cause we have a lot of catching up to do. and monster and sen2 just the usual chat. honestly, talking to them really does make me feel pretty great. i mean, sure i still keep contact with my high school friends, but only the ones from school. and it's great to spend time talking to some friends outside school because they remind me more of my high school life. and maybe i've been too hooked up with my uni and stuff, it really does feel great to rewind those good old days.

well, back to studying then. uuurrggghhh