last days in fib

lately, i don't know why, it's just been sooo hard for me to cry. i re-watched sad movie and i didn't cry, i watched marley and me and i didn't cry, i watched the season finale of grey's anatomy and i didn't cry(ini gw bingung bgt). but i just wrote iman's goodbye note in facebook and i've only just read the few lines and tears started coming down. by the time i finished reading, i cried myself shitless. it was just soooooo sad. the thought of him having to leave his closest friends just kills me.

here, i'll post the letter here. it'll probably send me back to tears again but whatever.

yah minggu ini minggu terakhir gue d fib. artinya gue gk bakal nemuin makhluk2 kyk lo2 lg d fisip. dan gk ada si wo dsana. buat gue pindah k fiib berarti gue keilangan bgt tmn2 gue yg udh gue anggep kyk sodara. gue seneng bgt masuk fib. karena gue dapetin tmn baru dan juga pacar baru. haha. yg ga ada senioritas jg minoritas. pertama kali gua masuk fib sih kesannya biasa aja jlek lg gedungnya.haha. gue jg liat tmn2 gue yg baru kok gini2 amat yak. tp seiring dengan berjalannya waktu. gue sadar kalo mereka baik bgt dan bner2 menerima satu sama lain. fib itu tmpt lo bisa ngejalanin sesuatu tanpa kepura2an. semua org menerima lo apa adanya. mereka org2 yg lebih mikir k bwh drpd k atas. dan gue ngerasa gue menemukan tmpat gue aja d fib. gue masi inget si sodik yg manggil gue tempa tempe lah. anak2 cwe manggil gue aimen lah. irwindo yg gk jelas. ceng2an ama marsha. dcengin ama acong. nyiksa si zae dan tata jg. maen ama non reg drumput. maen futsal bola brg. kulturfest. maen petasan d gedung 9. ahaha. maen d kansas ampe malem. masuk kls frau leli (yg bikin ngantuk amat ni kuliah). kenalan ama tuti dsb. maen k kosan dela ama si sinta. nyiksa si icha d leher ampe kejang2 dia. hahaaha. bilang k indra " ndra siaga satu ndra, ada ratu kansas mau dtg " ama cengan kulit duku dr si medi. hahha. solat jumat brg. liat fandy begituan. uas pske. maen capsa. terlalu byk ingatan gue walaupun cm 2 smster disini. makanya gue sempet mikir pas mau pindah dr fib. karena gue punya keluarga baru d fib.( bukan keluarga abang ye). lo gue anggep tmn2 gue yg plg deket.( lebay ih iman ih). hahaha. tp satu yg jelas. semoga gue masi bisa k kansas smster dpn. ngeliat lo2 pd lg. trus masi menjaga hubungan pertemanan gue ama lo2 semua ank jerman. terima kasih atas kemurahan hati lo smua ank2 jerman. gue gk tau cara ngebls lo smua

 no it did not send me to tears this time actually. thank god. cape jg gw nangis. 

this also really got me thinking,'segitu beratnya lho ninggalin fib.'

hmmmmmm

anyway, i'm glad i spent my last few weeks in fib with iman in the most amazing ways i can imagine. we have our moments and our corners and we've laughed and we've pissed each other off and i will never forget those days.

it's really going to be hard entering kansas and not seeing him amidst his friends from german studies.

last friday was his last day in fib(it could also be my last!). honestly, i kind of regretted ending his days in fib in a pretty big fight in gedung 9 over something completely unimportant. i started the fight and it was all my doing. he was just so confused and frustrated about my behaviour, he wen't straight home. well not exactly home, solat jumat dulu di istiqlal. haha. (penting abis gw tulis).

well all in all, have a fun new life in fisip boy! i know you'll do great cause you really are a chameleon. you fit and adapt well pretty much everywhere. =)

toy story 3!

i could just watch this over and over and over! can't wait!!!!

F I B

kenapa gw harus di fib? kenapa fakultas yg harus gw tinggalin klo keterima snmptn adalah fib? knp fib tu paraaaaah bgt pwnya? knp fib udah mendarah daging bgt di gw? knp gw harus sayang bgt sm fib? knp gw betah bgt berjam2 di kansas? knp gw pas pertama kali masuk kelas di fib trus ngeliat keluar jendela, pemandangannya BGS BGT(6210)? knp gw belajar maen capsa di fib? knp gw belajar maen futsal di fib? knp tmn2 gw di fib ENAK BGT? knp gw kenalan sm iman di fib? knp gw i love every little god damned thing about fib(except the toilets maybe)? knp klo tmn2 gw lg cerita ttg ga enaknya lingkungan kuliah mereka gw selalu bersyukur gw punya fib?  kenapa perpus fib itu enaaaaak bgt? shit, there are sooooooooooo many more things about fib that i love. meskipun gw blom tentu ninggalin jg, tp the thought itself just makes me go all.......... i can't even find a word for this

ok, now i'm confused

ok. too much is going on right now and i really need to pull myself together.

first of all, gw masi cape abis latian drama. cape cape cape cape. trus masa td kan baju gw agak2 lebih ketat dari kaos2 yg gw pake ke kampus kan, trus gw pulang pake jaket MUnya iman. hahaha. kocak aja si, secara MU baru kalah semalem. dan PANAS YA!

but what's been bugging me is, gw penasaran bgt ikut snmptn lagi. shiteeeeeee. umb ga bisa, it's too late. tp snmptn masi sebulan lebih. malah hampir dua bulan. daaaaan setelah perundingan dgn bonyok gw, gw memutuskan ikut.

shit shit shit, skrg gw bingung. gw PGN BGTTT keterima snmptn. tapi at the same time gw udah PW bgt di cina. sumpah. parah parah parah. paraaaaaaaahhhhhh. sumpah itu pasti susaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh bgtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ninggalin tmn2 gw di cina, trus ninggalin pelajaran2 gw di kelas, ninggalin kansas! and overall, ninggalin FIB!!!!!

sumpah bisa gila gw bnran deh. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. jd trus gmn dong dong dong dong???? masalahnya gw jg ga mau terus di cina tp penasaraaaaaannnnnnn. gw harus melakukan ngilangin penasaran gw! aaaah shit shit shit.

bingung euy. sumpah bingung. paraaaaaaahhhh

uas is finally over

well except for pengantar kesusastraan, but at least the worst is over. so i think it's time to write about that day i got my fortune told.

so it was my aunt and my nephew's birthday and my aunt called in a tarot reader just for fun. i had my fortune told and honestly, he almost got everything right. even the many people who got their fortune told before me said so. i mean, the guy was right about everything i was going through.

the thing is, you know how fortune telling is a percaya ga percaya thing? well, i think, if you believe in fortune telling, god will make it a media to send messages to you. and if you don't believe it then god won't, cause he knows you won't even budge after hearing all that. so for example, if i was told that i will finish my study in uni quickly and get my dream job--which unfortunately i was not--if i believed it, it will encourage me to do study well and get there faster. and if i was told i could make that change i've always wanted to see in the world, then it would encourage me to do it faster.

so, my point is, i don't believe that fortune telling is a sin. i mean, sure that's what religions tell us. but life isn't all black and white. it isn't all write and wrong. i mean, i'm sure god has a better way of thinking rather just plain black and white, right and wrong. bener salah, dosa pahala.

me and my friends have been going to fisip really often these last few days. the reason is to buy that amazing double oreo milkshake with rum. seriously, they're really great. i don't mind having them everyday. we all go there just to have fun, but the thing is, sentences such as, " ini sebenernya dosa ga si?" is pretty much inevitable. the most common answer to that is just plain,"yaelah dikit doang." which i think doesn't really make sense cause the rules states that you're not even allowed to drink a drop. if you believe that is. but i've also heard some people fiddling around with the rules. the rules states that you are not allowed to drink what makes you drunk. so some friends of mine assume, as long's as you stay sober, it's not a sin.

well, honestly, honestly, this is one of the cons of religions. everything is soooooo set. everything is either right or wrong, bener atau salah, dosa atau pahala. once you find yourself in a grey area, you get all confused and search for a rule that makes you sure what to do.

oh come on people, we have minds don't we? we can tell what's right and what's wrong using our minds can't we? sure there are times we need help, but we don't always need them for every little thing don't we?

masi uas smp jumat

you know i really feel like writing my beliefs just like those good old days. tp kok ga dpt2 ya moodnya?

uas uas uas

i know i'm supposed to be studying because tomorrow's test is the most killer of all but i really feel like posting. iman came to my house earlier to accompany to study. haha. my friends said yeah as if i can ever study with a boyfriend beside me. but it turned out ok. he was pretty silent most of the time(karena gw jejelin one piece). and i studied pretty well. and every time i start to get bored and starts bugging him, he'll tell me to continue studying haha. gooooood. but over all,  we did spare some time to have fun and take pictures and even make a video together.

i don't feel like uploading the video cause it's rebek and it's pretty silly anyway. haha.

and now my studying mood is definitely turned off and i wish iman was here again to turn it back on. sigh.

yesterday, i saw this tarot reader and he read my cards. i'll tell you about it later on cause if yi write in now i could go on rambling and that's not what i want to happen cause my books are right beside me waiting to be fucking studied. fuck.

but i'll write a little more about yesterday. i chatted with 3 of my old friends. baya, monster and sen2. it's been ages since i last talked to them. baya's going to accompany to me to put my cv later next week and we definitely have to stay and chat later on cause we have a lot of catching up to do. and monster and sen2 just the usual chat. honestly, talking to them really does make me feel pretty great. i mean, sure i still keep contact with my high school friends, but only the ones from school. and it's great to spend time talking to some friends outside school because they remind me more of my high school life. and maybe i've been too hooked up with my uni and stuff, it really does feel great to rewind those good old days.

well, back to studying then. uuurrggghhh

why i love omegle so much

Stranger: 苏州有好多园林，还有很多好吃的东西

You: 啊中国菜！

You: 哈哈

You: 在北京应该只北京烤鸭

You: 一定很好吃

Stranger: 对的

Stranger: 我吃过的~~

Stranger: 你很了解中国啊

Stranger: 不错不错

You: 哈哈谢谢

Stranger: 我都不怎么了解你们国家

Stranger: 你们有很多岛

You: 我不太了解

You: 只知道疑点儿

Stranger: 然后羽毛球很强

Stranger: 林丹经常输给你们

You: 在中国，应该参观长城

You: 故宫， 天安门

Stranger: 嗯

hahahahaha

i just feel like posting

ok so maybe it won't hurt if i gave you all updates of my life which isn't going anywhere. zzzzz

-lately i am soooooooooooooooooo unproductive. i HATE being unproductive. but i at the same time i don't feel like being productive at the moment.

-i'm a vegetarian (again) now. the again refers to that time in the 8th grade where i won't eat animals cause i don't agree with animal slaughter. but that was real brief. this time, i'm doing it for another reason and it's been working really well. OH SHIT!!!! sambil nulis ini gw baru inget. td pas di Y grill gw sempet makan steak punya nykp gw apa ade gw gt. sumpah gw baru nyadar sekarang. but apart from that. i've been meat free for quite someday.

-uas uas uas uas uas

-i'm getting a part time job soon. wish me luck. i'm really looking forward to it.

-it's saturday night but i've been home since 11 and i feels so nyampah.. i have to friggin study because of this friggin uas. it's not that i want to go kelayapan smp pagi and all, tp rasanya kentang aja lg enak2 pergi trs harus balik cepet soalnya masu belajar buat uas. biarpun org blg klo maen minggu di rumah ujung2nya jg ga bljr, tp gw bnran bljr. zzzzzzz

-yaudh deh gw blajar dulu

the case of the disappearing row of seats!!!

so today there's another one of those thing where a movie is played in my campus's auditorium. instead of watching with iman as i usually do, today i watched with my friend Agis. oh and, the movie was wall-e.

so when i came it, it was pitch black. extremely dark as fuck and i couldn't see a thing. but our eyes got used to the light after a while. ok, stop right there just a second. before i can tell you the main story, i have to describe how my auditorium is like.

my auditorium doesn't have any audience seat. but you can put rows of seats for special occasion. so all in all, the seats in my auditorium is adjustable. you can have them, and you can just leave the floor seatless and sit on the floor.

do you get the picture? if you don't, please write it in my comment because i really want to give you a clear picture.

well, me and agis decided to sit at the very back. it was dark and the rows of seat were so close to each other so to get in we have to pardon ourselves to people sitting in our row. you know, just like you do in the movies when you want to go to the toilet or buy some food. sometimes the people even have to lift up their legs to their seat. once we got to our seat with so much struggle, agis decided to go to the toilet. so she went back and had to apologize to all the people sitting in our row. once agis is back, it was my turn to go to the toilet. trust me, it wasn't easy getting through that tiny space between rows and i had to hold the chairs in the row in front of me to keep my balance. i did the same thing when i was on my way back from the toilet to my seat. once i put my but on my seat. i look up and i was totally between speechless and just too fucking shocked. all i could do was say to agis, "gis, td bukannya di depan kita ada satu row korsi lg ya?" and agis could only go,"iya id iya! oh my!"

the row of seat in front of us have disappeared!!!!

just like that. i don't know where it went. and there was just this gaping space in front of us where we could walk real freely. the row of seat 2 rows in front of us is still there, it's just that the row in front of us disappeared just like THAT

so do you get the story? to make it easier, let's just picture it like this. you're watching a movie on row A which is at he very back. you realized that there is a row B in front of you. then all of a sudden you look up and there is no row B, there's just a row C.

i mean, shittttt. me and agis couldn't even concentrate on the movie. how could a row of seat disappeared in a matter of seconds under our noses! there's just this gaping space in front of us. if the space was there from the beginning, we wouldn't have to bother the people in our row when we went to the toilet. we could just walk and not touch a single person cause the space is just so wide and there's no way on earth we could've missed it.

agis said that no wonder the people were confused when we pardon ourselves and pass really close to them while there is actually a huge gap in front of us.

I TOUCHED THE SEATS IN FRONT OF US FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!

i felt it in my hand. how could it have disappeared?

well, i'm not saying it's possible me and agis were really bele at that time. but we have to be REALLY bele and what are the odds of two people experiencing the same amount of beleness.

oh shit where the fuck this that row go.

FINALLY!!!

i've finished my first ever rubik's cube!!!!! hahahaha

hey hey

hey there, i'm just booooreeeed shitless and not in the mood to post anything meaningful. tried solving the rubik's cube. failed miserably, even with clear instructions from youtube. yeah, i'll probably end up switching the stickers again.

maybe one more post won't hurt

something;s been bugging my mind lately actually. well, iman's list of things to give on mother's day was actually the trigger of it all. 

i'm not really close with my parents. i guess, i use to, before the divorce. after that, it's like there's this distance that i can't stop from happening. i've tried a lot of times. trust me. but there's just this invisible 'barrier' that is just there. it's like, deep down somewhere, without me even realizing it, i kind of have lost my trust for them ages ago. sure i still talk to them and go out often and joke at a lot of stuff. introduce my boyfriend and my friends and stuff like that. but it's just, i've never ever plan to give them anything for mother or father's day. let alone mother's day and father's day, i hardly ever congratulate them on their birthday. same goes for lebaran.

the thing is, i don't ever give them anything, a birthday present, a parent's day present. but that's not what matters, i'm worrying more about my the fact that i never even THINK about giving them anything. it's true i guess, i do take my parents for granted.

i guess i do constantly thank god that they're all still alive and well. and the main and sometimes, the only reason i want to be successful is for their sake cause i know that's what they want from me more than something from louis vuitton or mont blanc that i can't even afford for their birthday. but seeing how great they all are, i always think, 'geez, can i ever EVER make them genuinely proud of me?'

since i don't believe in hell, i think, what's my karma for all this?

zzzzzzzzzz

excuse the fact that i use 'all' instead of 'both'

you know what,

i thk i'm going to take a reallllllyyyyyyyyy long hiatus from this blog. there are things i really want to write down and share actually, personal things and common things. but, i don't know, lately writing in my blog just doesn't feel the way it used to make me feel. i use to be able to go on 4-5 posts a day, but now, let alone a day, i couldn't even post that much in a month. so yeah, see you later. maybe i'll start next month. bye for now!

100

yun, gw bikin jg yaaaa

001. Real name : Pramesti Widya Kirana
002. Like it? : loves it
003. Nickname(s) : idya
004. Status : in a relationship
005. Zodiac sign : gemini
006. Male or female : female
007. Elementary : SD Tarakanita 1, Hughes Primary School, SDN 05 pagi
008. Middle School : SMP Tarakanita 5
009. High School : SMA Tarakanita 1
010. Hair color : black
011. Long or short : short
012. Eye color : dark brown
013. Weight : 54
014. Height : don't know
015. Righty or lefty : righty
016. Loud or Quiet : both
017. Sweats or Jeans : jeans, qu nali2
018. Phone or Camera : camera
019. Health freak : no
020. Piercings? : yes
021. Do you have a crush on someone? :  yes,my boyfriend
022. Eat or Drink : eat
023. Purse or Backpack : backpack
024. Tattoos : curious, but no
025. Do You Like Yourself? : yes
026. Current worry? : lulus bahasa cina modern

THIS OR THAT:
027. Orange or Apple Juice? : orange
028. Night or Day? : day
029. Sun or Moon? : moon
030. TV or Internet? : internet
031.PlayStation or XBox? : play station
032. Kiss or Hug? : kiss
033. Iguana or Turtle? : turtles
034. Spider or Bee? : bee
035. Fall or Spring? : fall
036. Limewire or iTunes? : limewire
037. Soccer or Baseball? : soccer

FIRSTS:
038. First surgery : never. not anytime soon i hope
039. First piercing : don't remember
040. First best friend : lots
041. First Sport? : gymnastics
042. First award : fashion show when i was in kindergarten
043. First crush : a friend from primary school
044. First pet : dog
045. First big vacation : australia. i think
046. First big birthday : 5 years old

CURRENTLY:
047. Eating : nothing
048. Drinking : water
049. I'm about to : eat, and ask my mum for something from ebay. teehee
050. Listening to : nothing
051. Singing? : the fear-lily allen
052. Typing? : this
053. Waiting for : food

YOUR FUTURE:
054. Want kids? : yes. definitely
055. When? : after marriage
056. Want to get married? : of course
057. When? : not anytime soon
058. Where Do You Want To Live? : jakarta
059. Careers in mind : news reporter, sinologist, AUTHOR
060. What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? : mbak2 yg mencetin lift. for real
061. Mellow Future Or Wild? : WILD!
062. Something You Would Never Try? : eating cockroaches

WHICH IS BETTER WITH BOY?
063. Lips or eyes : eyes
064. Shorter or taller? : taller
065. Romantic or spontaneous : romantic
066. Nice stomach or nice arms : NICE STOMACH!!
067. Sensitive or loud : sensitive
068. Hook-up or relationship : hook-up
069. Trouble maker or hesitant : trouble maker 
070. Hugging or Kissing? : kissing
071. Tan Skinned or Light? : tanned
072. Dark or Light Hair? : dark
073. Muscular or Normal? : normal

HAVE YOU EVER:
074. Lost glasses/contacts : all the time/ constantly
075. Ran away from home : never
076. Held a gun/knife for self defense? : thank god, no
077. Killed somebody : no
078. Broken someone's heart : yes
079. Been arrested : no
080. Cried when someone died : of course
081. Kissed A Stranger? : no
082. Climbed Up A Tree? : yes
083. Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? : yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
084. Yourself : at times
085. Miracles : yes
086. Love at first sight : no
087. Heaven : hmmmm, i'd like to believe it's true
088. Santa Claus : no
089. Kiss on the first date : no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
090. Is there one person you want to be with right now : iman iman iman
091. Do You Like Someone? : my boyfriend!
092. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life : not until i become and official author
093. Do you believe in God : yes, but i have my own concept of god though

LASTS
094. Recieved/Sent Text Message : kgn deeeeh --> to iman. hahaa
095. Received Call : papa
096. Call Made? : om de
097. Comment On MySpace? : wo jie shou le-> from deni july 26 2008 haha
098. Missed Call? : i haven't saved the number. forgot who it is
099. Person You Hung out With? : nindi

100. tag tag tag tag tag

things on my head right now

i can't find the mood to write padahal i have a gazillion things in my head i wish i could spill a post right now. so what i'm going to do is just make a list of all the things i want to post about.

-movies that are better than the books their based on

-the comparison of singapore's MRT station and jakarta's jabotabek train station. hahahaaaaa

-the latest polaroid camera. ooooooohhh seriouslyyyyy it's TO DIE FOR

-what you should and should not do with a pair of brand new nudies. teehee

-the usual junk i write, my life and all

-should i start writing a nook now or later in life?

-maybe more religion stuff

ya gt deh pokoknya. i'll write them when i find the mood

hey hey

sorry for the major lack of updates. i just haven't find the mood again