dagong aja terus

there are HEAAAPPPSSS of things i want to write here. like how i almost owe my company puluhan juta rupiah and other shit that's been happening to me lately. tp gw lg ga mood cerita itu.

what's been bugging my mind lately is the time limit i have and how i have to divided between friends, family, boyfriend and myself.

i work everyday from monday to friday for approximately 12 hours. jam 8 smp hampir jam 8 lg. last friday, gw baru pulang jam stgh 1 pagi malah. yaa lo tau sendiri lah. yg ada sampe rumah cape kerja dan maunya maen2 bntr. gw seharian blom online, blom maen the sims gt2. trus on weekends, gw pasti ketemuan sm tmn2 gw soalnya any other day gw ga pernah bisa ketemuan. trus minggu, gw sm keluarga karena mereka lebih apa kabar bgt dibanding temen2 gw. 

well, gw si selalu gt ngebagi waktunya. pertanyaannya adalah, trus buat pacar gw kapaaan?????

iya si i knowwww, gw selalu telfon2an klo mlm tp karena blom puas maen2 sendiri jd gw pasti sambil online klo ga maen the sims trus klo sabtu gw pasti jalannya sm tmn2. i know i suck at being a girlfriend. aarrghhh tp my ego just keeps telling me, i still want to playyyyy. i want to me time tanpa harus terikat sm org, meee time!!!

and last night we kind of had the biggest row ever and we were this close to breaking up and all of a sudden i realize how much i still want this relationship and how much i don't want things to end.

i guess, i have been taking iman for granted. i always thought he'd always be there and that i can contact him anytime i want. intinya, i took him for granted. majorly.

i feel so guilty i mean it kind of hit me. if i don't want to sacrifice anything, then don't commit. yg mau commit kan gw, yg masi mau lanjut kan gw, yaudh gw jgn egois dan mengharapkan semua lancar2 aja dong tanpa gw hrs ngorbanin waktu gw sedikit buat iman.

iya emg iman harus bisa ngertiin gw secara gw bnran udh ga punya idup lg, tp ya gw jg harus ngertiin dia lah. apa rasanya bgt deh udh hari biasa dimaklumin gara2 emg kerja, weekend masi ngilang sibuk sendiri. trus klo telfon2an alesannya aaah aku belom maen the sims, belom online belom apalah apalah

aaaah maaf yaaaaaa imaaann. i never ever meant to do all those things bnran2. ga sadar aja. and yes most of all i took you for granted. sigh

huaaaaa jd curhat. but i just had to release that somewhere.