i really want to write something

but i don't know what, so i'm just going to ramble. haha

i got accepted at sastra cina ui. yes2, i know i've written that a gazillion times already but this time the point is not the fact that i've been accepted. my point is ,I can't speak chinese at all and IT'S SOOOOOO HARD!!!!!! i've heard many many things from people like 'klo beda nada beda arti', 'lo harus ngafalin beribu2 huruf', 'nyet itu susah bgt lho gw aja g bisa2.' all that and the fact that there is more than 1 type of chinese. gosh i'm fucking clueless and i'll have to start from scratch. the big big question, will i make it? i know people say that you can succeed in anything if you really try. i know2. and i've been holding on to that. but i think there's more to the quote. i think it should be more like you can succeed in anything if you really really try as far as your brain can go.

i studied my friggin ass off for snmptn. i really2 did. i tried to understand the math problems but i can never solve most of them. i've tried shitless but still i don't get it. my biggest worry right now is that the same thing will occur when learning chinese. but let's just hope that it doesn't.

this long pause after finishing high school and before starting college, my wallet's always empty. i keep spending and spending since i have nothing else to do. i decide that for college, i CAN NOT keep asking my parents for money. i have to start making my own. i figure i'll go get a part-time job. but then again, will it disturb my studies? i will really really have to work my ass of if i want to survive sastra cina, but with a part time job, will i manage?i'm BAD at organizing time. bad bad bad.

james is moving to bandung next week. i'll really miss you. i'll come and visit once in a while. promise promise. thank god i got accepted at ui and that i don't have to move to australia. hahaa.

so what else should i ramble in about. hmmmmmmm. read rant people. i promise it's good.

hmmmm what else. i don't know i'm pretty much out of words. hahaa

oh yeah there's more. i've bought making out in chinese a few months ago. i thought it would be fun to start learning from that book. it is cause it's filled with curses and it really is fun. hahaaa. but i usually just read the chinese alphabet part  like wang ba dan, wo ai ni, sheng ri quai le and stuff like that. i never read the read chinese writing. i payed attention to them yesterday figuring i would have to for the next 4 years of my life and i realized that they were soooooo complicated! seriously, 1 letter could contain so many lines and i've heard that you have to draw the lines in a particular order. how on earth am i suppose to memorize thousands of letters plus how to draw each and every one of them. oh gosh just shoot me.

i've been going through facebook and looking at the tenth grade pictures icha tagged us all. i miss those days. school was hell but meeting all of you was the only reason i came everyday. hahaha. we'd take really stupid pictures and play si buta dan si gua hantu. we even call ourselves black cat. hahhaa god knows where the name comes from. i tried uploading them but failed miserably. oh well. they're not for the public eye anyway.(tapi ada di facebook. haha)