zhengzai ting che the ting tings

hey peeps, this post is going to be about me and me alone. so no more religion talk for a while and all that usual stuff i go around rambling about.

soooo, i decided to join the taekwondo team in my faculty. i kind of miss it, i mean, it's been like 5 years since my last practice. i tried everything at campus and i failed miserably at each and every one of it. EDS, liga tari, futsal. i thought, seriously, dari segini banyak wadah buat menampung minta dan bakat di ui, gw ga ada yg masuk gt? ya well the only wadah i want to join is like this community where everyone can speak up about their beliefs--out of those 5 major religion in indonesia-- and bring religious fairness to the campus. i mean, the campus should also have a church and a temple, not just a mosque. and when we're separated to join those religious mentorings, there should be one for those who has a belief out of those 5. ANYWAAAAAAYYY, i thought i said no religion talks. haha. well, i guess that's pretty much stuck with me.

so i decided i wanted to join taekwondo. not the UI one, but just the FIB one. what made me quit those 3 earlier activities i joined was because everyone else was already sooooo good at it cause they've been doing it since high school and i just started. that made me feel paling bego and pretty jiper. taekwondo here, is a different story. i've alraedy got up to kuning strip and the others are still white, so yeah, gw agak lebih bisa sedikit dr yg laen. i got a head start, all's fair is fair.

in my second practice my tutor--in this case it's called sabeum--told me that i should compete in olimpiade ui aka asteroid. eeerr, i thought he was kidding but he said i really had the potential and so and so. hmmmm i have to admit i'm more scared than happy. ok, so i may know the basics to kicking, but my fighting techniques are hmmmm, i don't know. i mean i really don't know. i haven't fought in like 5 years. and when they fight they kick with all their might so i'm kind of scared i might fall to pieces and stuff.

well, my point in writing this is, join something you're good at. seriously. this really really brings out your self-esteem. my grades are flunking like effing crazy this semester. and everyone else in my class is waaaaay smarter and me, well maybe not smarter but friggin rajin. heran gw, kapan gw bisa kaya gitu. so i decided to join something where i have an ability a bit above others. that really does makes you feel good, seriously. doesn't make you feel bele2 amat in life for not being able to do one thing.

thk u for tuning peeps!

:p

so the i was sitting on my so-called throne with all my so-called jewels and fancy clothes

when all of a sudden you came

you took me by the hand and guided me of my throne ever so carefully,

afraid that i might trip anytime cause of my pointy glass slipper

i didn't know where we were going and i wanted to say no

i wanted to let go more than anything and get back up to my comfort zone

this is all to weird, i can't take another second

but at the same time, i couldn't find the heart to let go of your hand

i've never felt such, such... touch

so i cling on tighter

this is getting better

i looked back

i can hardly see my throne anymore

i can't believe we've walked this far

and these, these pearls and diamonds are seriously disturbing

they feel so heavy around my neck

i can't believe i've never realized how annoying they were

neither could i stand the clickity clack of my glass slipper

i can't move my fingers freely cause of all this rings,

let alone the clinging bracelets which are starting to make my wrist ache

wait just a moment please, i pleaded

and for the first time i let go of his hand

and of all those glittery items from my body

what should i do with these? said i, by now confused and realizing all those stuff weighs a ton

keep them, he answered. you'll never know, you might need them again

bingung ngelanjutinnya gmn. hahahaa

confessions on life, death and god

hey people!

i can't wait to get a hold of this hot stuff

the secrets on life, and god are really great. i've never been interested in death, but the death secrets are ok too.

anyway, really for one of my old 'religious' posts? hehe. well, here goes one.

but before i continue, i'd like to say that i can't promise this to be as good as my old posts. but, well, here goes nothing.

me and vani were sitting as kansas as usual today and the guys sitting at the table next to us were talking really loudly. we never meant to eavesdrop, but we can't help overhearing. haha yeah, cliche. they happen to be having a debate about religion, something not so unusual around FIB actually. so me and vani decided to just shut our pieholes and listen.

so there is this one guy with the theory--which i'm sure a lot of you know--where only muslims get to go to heaven. there's this other guy, who, like many other guys we've known before him, disagree to that statement by saying that he thinks it wouldn't be fair if non-muslims are good but end up in hell anyway.

what, i am not familiar with is, the way this guy seems COMPLETELY offended by the disagreement of his friend. he said, " Nggak bisa! Nggak bisa gt Ga. wah kacau lo, nggak bisa gt sumpah, gw nggak terima. lo, lo, sumpah ya, lo ngatain tuhan gw nggak adil. gw ga terima Ga. kacau bgt lo."

yeah, ok, santai nyet.

then this guy whom we know as "Ga" says, that's what people raised the muslim way in a muslim society would think of. then he goes on and says(in indonesian, of course), "imagine if you were born christian, and raised in a christian way. would you think the same?"

well, that was pretty much the end of it. i forgot how it ended. was it because i decided to stop listening because my brain was already spinning with theories of my own i would like to share, or was it because the second guy was stumped, or because i couldn't stand listening to that absurd guy speak anymore. but i guess, it was all of those reasons combined.

so? what do you guys think about this?

well, again, i have to repeat that i don't really believe in heaven.i mean, it's not that i don't believe it, but, i don't know. i just don't ok. i can't go around believing that only muslims go to heaven.

oooooooowwhhhh i forgot one tiny detail.

when one guy said a non-muslim could also go to heaven from being nice and not evil, the other guy said nice is not enough. he said that the reason for a person to live is to be good AND worship allah. no matter how good a person is, they will still be doomed for not worshipping allah. the muslim allah, not the catholic allah.

well, i think i've posted enough theories in my previous posts. this time, i would actually like to hear from you people.

i've lived with non-muslims all my life. and i daresay they are just normal people who deserves to go to heaven and live their life as fair as any other religion member for that matter.

*see, it's not as good as my old posts :(

:)))))

i'm glad i came across you.

i'm glad i did that stupid sumpah pemuda orasi even though i was THIS CLOSE to walking away from it. i'm glad i chose to ride the cheap cheap train to campus rather than being a brat and be driven to campus everyday. i'm glad i got into this major and in to FIB. i'm glad i chose that class for my english class.

all those choices are what made me end up meeting you. i wouldn't have ended up with you if i chose i thing differently.

1 tiny choice really do make a difference.

i'm glad i went to bali and spend my time there with me. that was such an experience and i feel soooo lucky to have passed it.

i'm glad i did the things i did with you. i heart you more by the day boyfriend!

happy belated lebaran!

hey people, sorry for the long hiatus. i don't know, i just don't feel like updating lately. god knows why. sometimes i think it's the feng shui in my room. but at times, i figured i'm just lazy.

so so, what do you want to discuss today? gosh, don't you miss those long boring religion lectures i use to give? haha. well, i know i miss giving them. 

what's been bugging my mind lately is well hmmm my major. well, not exactly my major si sebenernya. but my friggin hobby. hahaha. i love to write, as some of you may already know. i know my writing pretty much sucks most of the time but i love doing it. i usually need a lot of strength and willpower to drag my ass and write. but once i do it, i can't exactly stop. it's tooooo much fun. therefore, i know that my sole purpose of existence is to make a change by writing.

two of my favorite quotes are

'scratch your name into surface of this world, before you go.' by the noisettes which is actually a song lyric, not exactly a quote. 

second is, 'prove you exist'

in a nutshell, i believe that everyone is supposed to make a contribution to earth in a way and well, for some reason, i do not want to die someday and not be remembered

i guess this is all because of he movie TROY. when thetis, achilles' mum said to achilles that he can just stay home and have children and be remembered by his grandchildren and all. but if he goes to war, he will be remembered and cherished in years to come. 

i want to beeee like that. i want to be remembered in years to come for that so-called contribution which i have made.

i believe that everybody is given a special gift and interest by god. maximize it. use it to scratch your name and prove you exist. if you're good and love dancing, then dance away! don't let anything get in the way. you can be a legend like michael jackson or isadora duncan. if you think drawing is your thing then go ahead and draw what comes to mind! if you love accounting and science and stuff and go ahead, learn it properly then apply it wisely later on in life. the world pretty much depends on our generation.

well back to me, since this is my blog. teehee

i feel like my 'thing' is writing and that is how i am supposed to make dedications to this world.  but then again, i'm still to lazy to start anything. zzzzzzzzzzz. i wish i wasn't such a procrastinator.

more trash blogging, horray for trash blogging

i still haven't found the mood to go back to campus. seriously. gosh this really sucks ass. i mean, what with all the new schedule i'm still not used to and the shitload of work i have no intention to even touch or bother knowing. boyfriend's on a different faculty, more stupid homework. even more shit coming and so on and so on. oh and the campus is swarming with mabas. nyeaaah, sometimes they get on my nerves. sometimes.

i've been on hold for like 3 months! i need god damn adaptation. i want my old teachers back, ones that i'm already comfortable with. i want to go back to last year where we are the newbies trying everything new in sight. this new semester is just stupid stupid stupid and i really have no mood to even start making my homework for tomorrow. i know i'm not making sense and practically repeating everything but i just hate the new semester!!!! aarrggghhhh fuck fuckity fuck.

sure it's pretty naive if you want 4 years of uni to be all as smooth as your first year. all as fun, all as exciting with a little spice here and there. but i really do wish it was like that still. sigh

males ngapa2in akhirnya gw ngeblog sampah

i am soooo sorry about what i have done. i guess i went a little to far. sometimes i just don't know my boundaries and i'm starting to wonder, when will i EVER learn??

mau berapa kali lagi kaya gini? i don't even know where to start writing.

anyway, karma will come back around and i WILL get what i deserve.

to the people i have caused harm to, i am SO SORRY. i never thought things would be this messed up.

:)

going to buka puasa at iman's house tomorrow!

excited and nervous at the same time. it's not exactly the first time i've met his parents and siblings. but it's the first time i get to sit down and have a meal with them. hope all goes well!

hell to the o

hell-o!

gosh i feel like it's been ages since i wrote here. my blog's glory days are over. yaha as if my blog ever had it's glory days.

i mean, i use to like post 5 times each day. and now my blog is neglected as shit. it's like there's a tumbleweed passing by when you open it complete with the wind blowing sound effect. anyway is there a place i can get a tumbleweed for my blog? haha. it would be pretty cool.

so here i am, back at my blogspot page, a place that used to be my comfort zone. what got me going everyday. i remember posting everytime, through my mobile phone, through everywhere.

i don't have that much crazy thoughts to share today. cause lately i just let my crazy thoughts linger. but i just feel like writing. cause i feel that only by writing i can truly get a hold of myself. i have to do it every now and then or else i'll get lost in my stream of thoughts.

classes are starting next week. i'm staying in FIB and not moving anywhere, THANK GOD for that. but you know, i speak for the whole faculty when i say i have to get used to people going, 'lo di sastra? mau jadi apa deh?'

ooh that's not it. pertanyaannya macem2. di modif2. lama2 gw koleksi deh. ada yg blg, 'haha gw aja bingung lo mau jadi apa?' ada jg yg blg, 'kok sastra si? arsitek dong, klo ga kedokteran.'

yeah kedokteran my ass.

that there, that's something i will have to get used to. like it or not. it's something that i have to prove. we will be friggin' something ok. better, we will be somebody. aarrghh i really wish i could prove it like now or something tp gw magerrr pollllllllllllll. gw tu sering kepikiran mau nulis lah, mau beraktivitas lah, mau produktif lah. ujung2nya nyampah aja gt di rumah. mana itu moto hidup lo yg prove you exist. or, scratch your name into the surface of this world lah or apa. sometimes i think i'm putting too much on myself. or not, i don't know. i pressure myself to be big and to make a change and so on and so on. but sometimes i just want to live my life. be normal. sit back and do stuff i want to do and feel like doing without any pressure.

ok, to make it more clear. i love writing, more than anything. like i said, it's the only thing that's keeping me sane throughout all these years. i know that one day i will make myself write for a cause. make a difference by my writings with hopes that it can last for years to come. down to the next generation. even if that doesn't happen, it's ok. at least i tried. tapi gw males mulaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. god damn it males bgt mulainya ya olooooohhh.  padahal gw tau, if not now, then when? i'll be old with a job and kids and a family to take care of soon. so kapan lg mau berkarya???

phew. that felt good.

last days of this holiday

so intinya gw putus.

sayang si, it's been a great 4 months together dan gw semakin bingung knp gw ga bisa bgt pacaran lama2.

anyway, gw bingung mau nulis apa cause everything is just to personal. udah ada beberapa tmn gw yg gw ceritain and seriously, gw bnr2 kaget that i'm capable of such an evil act.

as usual this makes my mind wonder off. apa si definisi orang baik dan orang jahat?

haha tau ah gw lg mls ngetik deh, as usual

me talk pretty one day

mew

hey peeps,

sorry for the usual neglection. better get used to it cause lately the mood to write here sorta gallops away along with the popularity of facebook.

anyway, last sunday i went to javarockin land with nindi and ajeng and gotcha. the main reason people come on sunday is for mew and third eye blind. i once tweeted that everytime i hear the word mew, it's the pokemon that comes to mind, not the band. you know the pokemon, mew. it's the list of the first generation of pokemon, mew was second last. followed my mewtwo.

what i mean by first generation is when it was still ash, misty and brock. remember? before that new guy came along with marill. which became my favorite pokemon.

anyway, don't continue reading. this post is going to suck if you're not a fan of pokemon. it will still suck anyway even if you're a fan of pokemon. i'm just having too much fun writing this. haha

anyway, the pink one is mew and the blue one is marill

i remembered back in australia, there's this pokemon movie which i watched in the cinemas and LOVED it. i even got a free special edition mew card. the title was pokemon: mewtwo strikes back.

ok, i'm going to write what i remember, and i'm going to read the synopsis and compare the result. i want to know how much i remember.

so there's this amazing pokemon called mew which, until now, haven't been caught. the scientist decided to make a replica of mew called mewtwo. just like every other science fiction movie, everything that's created in a lab always ends up in catastrophe.

ok, here's the real synopsis:

When a group of scientists are offered funding into genetic research if they agree to try and clone the greatest ever Pokémon, Mew, the end result is success and Mewtwo is born. However Mewtwo is bitter about his purpose in life and kills his masters. In order to become the greatest he throws open a challenge to the world to battle him and his Pokémon. Ash and his friends are one of the few groups of trainers who pass the first test and prepare for battle. However they soon find out about further cloning and Mew 2's ultimate plan for the earth.

close wasn't i? haha

i loved the movie sooo much, i still remember it like it was last year. i also remember my favorite part was when misty saved ash from drowning and said something in the lines of, 'he's not my boyfriend, but he is my boy friend.'

haha, yeah. pretty geekshit.

baby, as if

As if 
I'm gonna let you break my heart again 
As if I'm gonna let your love back in my life 
Not tonight, get a grip 
Baby as if 

blaque- as if

amazeballs!

hey peeps. i know i have been neglecting my blog more than ever. but today, i had suck a wondrous day that i can not not write it.

so mas iwet picked me up today to come along to radio cakrawala for an interview about #indonesiaunite. turns out, i ended up talking as well. haha. even though i know i didn't do very good, i had fun. FYI, radio cakrawala is a mandarin radio. they only use indonesians when they are interviewing people. it was nice that there is actually a place where my specialties is much needed and that they really impressed when i tell them that i'm taking chinese studies. i think i might consider getting a job there one day!

next, we went to pacific place for a book discussion. 8 classic indonesian literature are being republished with a whole new look. those 8 books are

-Atheis - Achdiat Kartamihardja (the only one i've read. AWESOME)

-habis gelap terbitlah terang - Raden Ajeng Kartini

-Layar Terkembang - Sutan Takdir Alisjahbana

-Salah Asuhan - Abdoel Moeis

-Sitti Nurbaya - Marah Rusli

-Dari Ave maria ke jalan lain ke roma - Idrus

-Salah Pilih - Nur Sutan iskandar

-Azab dan Sengsara - Merari Siregar

You buy the whole packet and they cost around 2.000.000 rupiahs. sigh.

check it out here

the batik on the cover is designed by the famous designer Obin.

anyway, there was the discussion. the discussion was only for 2 of the books. habis gelap terbitlah terang and salah asuhan. i think it was great. really great. again, i felt really appreciated by the fact that i was surrounded by people who loved literature as well. not just indonesian literature, but also english. i get to have lunch with some of the speakers before the show started and again, they we're all so inspiring.

the MC was Becky tumewu whom i conversed with and turns out she's a huge fan of mitch albom. i'm not crazy about mitch albom. but he's ok i guess. then she said that she was going to perform in a play based on george orwell's animal farm. george orwell has been on my list for long but i haven't got the chance to read it. then there was lukman sardi. and yes, he is THAT hot! then there was samuel mulia. he's amazing. amazing amazing. then last but definitely not least, taufik ismail.

the discussion went GREAT not boring like most book discussions and really really inspiring.

i learnt that to be a great women, it doesn't mean you have to go around and be successful in your career and all that. by being a housewife, you are already amazing. really REALLY amazing. a woman's job in this world is to raise children that can turn out to be great leaders and make the country better. it's like what nabi muhammad said, the greatness of a country is measured by how great the woman in it are.

overall, i had sooo much fun and you have no idea how much i learned today and how everything just inspires me to the core. i was also greatful that i was lent dewi lestari's recto verso from mas iwet. the hardcover version, with an autograph! and, i was given again, by mas iwet, a 100.000 voucher to spend at times bookstore. i used it to buy david sedaris' me talk pretty one day. it costs 215.000. but it was on discount and i had the voucher with me. so i only payed 72.000. woohoo!

and honestly, i really really really really want the classic literature set. but it's soooo expensive. :(

i mean, that's like a month's salary for me. and i don't really want to spend it all in one blow. so i guess i will buy all the books, but not the special edition ones. haha.

harry potter!!

ok i've gone daniel radcliffe crazed all over again. he is toooooooo hot!!!!!!

anyway, that's not really what i want to discuss. i remember i use to loooooove reading. i'd do it anywhere and anytime. smp2 balajar terbengkalai gara2 kadang gw milih baca. but now, i don't know why, i just don't feel like reading when i'm at home. i always bring my novel everywhere so i end up reading in malls, my office, people's houses, campus, train. but not my home. i don't even know why.

and i've also just read raditya dika's tweet. where he actually gives special time to write. keep his mobile and laptop away and just write. roald dahl also said that. if you want to be a writer, you have to know that there is nobody but yourself to tell you when the deadline is and when you have to work.

if my tasks in the office isn't too hectic, i write in my notebook. i no longer write what i feel like writing, i've actually started to create stories. sure i've posted one or two fictions in my blog. and i'm sure you all agree that they completely suck ass. but this, i sorta put a quite a big effort in this. and my character's name is calliope. turns out, the character in middlesex is also calliope. i thought about changing the name but instead i'll improve.

lately, i've also met soooo many inspiring people. people that wow the living shittttttt out of me. oh i'm inspired all right. but it's like, i'm so static and not doing anything. i have to start promising myself i will write properly.

and i've had sooo many great opportunities in my lifetime but i keep turning them down. a few days ago i was asked to join the #indonesiaunite PR team. i was really really really excited and really wanted to charge, but i don't know. i feel like their having second chances about calling me in. i just hope i'm wrong and i can be completely total when an opportunity comes along.

going arctic

hello all. geez i really really miss those good old days where i would blog like crazy. i guess those glory days are over. as much as i miss it, i just couldn't find the mood back.

There was this one post i once made and well i'm sure some of you would remember cause i had a few number of people coming up to me saying how stupidly funny it was. about my sate padang restaurant, remember? ahahahaha. yeah, the one called ny. Widya's with a picture of me disanggul dan pake kebaya. ahahhaha. well today when i was at work iman texted me and said 

"yang masa aku ke gramedia trus nemu buku judulnya 'sukses bisnis rumah makan PADANG'. beliin ah buat kamu hahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha."

yeah well ujung2nya gw ga dibeliin karena duitnya dia kurang 10 ribu emg dasar geblek.

oh and to aby if you're reading this, get well soon! and yes, you read the first word of the sms right. hahahaha

xianggang!

hey peeps! yeah i just got back from xianggang a.k.a hong kong. klo kata barong, xianggang id, bukan ngangkang. hahah ga tau kenapa but that really cracked me up.

xianggang was pretty nice. i mean, the last time i went there i didn't pay that much attention to my surroundings. just disneyland. haha. this time, i was sort of already over disneyland and finally saw the bigger picture of xianggang. to be a little honest, i was pretty disappointed at how different cantonese is from mandarin. haha. yeah this is pretty obvious actually, but i was hoping i could still understand at least a little bit of it. but no. i don't catch a word they're saying.
nice facts that i found out about xianggang is that it lives only by dagang. dagang dagang dagang, ga ada tu cocok tanam or produksi or whatever. it's all just dagang. and i gotta admit the MTR experience was great. more or less like singapore si. but somehow different.

and shopping was great as well. it's pretty jam packed with shopping centres and lane crawford was a really great experience for me. it's even better than their harvey nichols.

here are some pictures i managed to take. no, i manage to drag my ass and take them cause gw sebnernya mls bgt foto2. haha.

aaaaah lama uploadnya. mls. hahahahaa

lanjut bingung

pgn marah tapi ga bisa. sumpah. i know it's my maunya si ga usah kesel sm sekali. yaudh biasa2. aja. tp it's like damn impossible. i know it's just my immaturity talking. and my PMS and all this heat. tp yaaaa it's just really really hard to hold it back. =(

hmmmmmm

bingung

...........

masi merasa terselamatkan oleh tuhan smlm. holy...... shit!

and iraaaaaaan

gw ga tau knp tp gw bnr2 ngakak smp guling2 liat ini. apalagi pas and iraaaaaaan. hahahahaah

award

there's only one award i'm going to give out and it goes to bernardine stefani's blog. she once wrote, you have to be honest with yourself cause you can never be truly honest with another person. those words stick to me more than ever. it's amazing. i never heard it anywhere else apart from her blog and she created that quote by herself. ya kan rong?

you rock dude

bali again

oh and i had my trip with bali with ayu utami. gosh she is such an awesome person. seriously. i haven't read any of her books but i have heard about them. i've also read the first few pages of her book. i wish i could write the cools things she did while we were there but i really can't cause that's a matter of privacy.

anyway, the reason i brought her up is because. lately i've been thinking i don't think i have the guts to publish a book of my own. ever.

you see, when you write, you kind of release the inner you in which everyone will read. i've always been the person to keep things for myself so when i write, it's like giving away myself for everyone to see and to me that is such a big deal.

people WILL judge. they surely will. and i am just not up to it.

but then when you think about yes. yes, people will judge, that is for sure. but so what? seriously so what? of course readers can have their right to judge and comment on the works they read. and no matter how many people judge you negatively, you will always have people who thinks the other way. and you will always have people to support you. so i guess you'll never stand alone.

if you've read ayu utami's books. or djenar maesa ayu's isn't it hard not to judge them? i mean, i hear a lot of people throw comments on their books whether the comments are good or bad.

but then it came to me, how are you supposed to write well when you care to much what people will think of you? you will end up caged and not be able to express yourself freely. look at elizabeth gilbert. she wrote about her life down to the dirtiest and most embarrassing details. she turned out to be a bestseller.

so yeah, my point is. i really got to release myself.

come to think of it, when it comes to people judging me, oh i think my older blog once made people end up saying stuff about me(proven, not assuming). the result? well i really couldn't care less about that.

 well, yeah i really have got to learn to release myself. hhahaa.

and i still got a looong way to go

BALIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

hey peeps i just got back from baliiiiiii!!!! seriously, bali will always be the most beautiful place on earth for me. a trip to bali just never fails me. i love the ambience too much.

this time i was lucky enough to spend my time there with my boyfrieeennddd!!!!

oh yeah, i envy myself. heheheheheheehehehehheeh

on my last day in bali, which is today, me and iman met up at kuta in the morning and we sat around for a few while and decided to swim. seriously, nothing is more fun than swimming in one of my favorite beach in the whole world with my boyfriend and kiss as the waves hit you. asin2 gmn gt

hahahahahahahahaaha, ok too much information

we then went to warung made and go for a tiny stroll along legian until iman had to drop me back to my hotel cause my plane's leaving in like 2 hours.

seriously it was soooooo hard to drag my ass of the car's seat when we arrived at my hotel. i just didn't want to leave! at all! but yeah, dagong menunggu.

overall, i had sooooooooo much fuuuun. and i have no one but our parents to thank. thank you parents for allowing me to go to bali and finding the tickets on such short notice. and thank you for letting me meet up with iman even though it was already really late out(we didn't end up meeting that night though) and thank you for the breakfast vouchers for me and iman only (though we didn't end up using it either). and thank you iman's parents for lending the car and letting your boy run loose with his girlfriend in bali! hahahaha. you guys are the best! all of you!

ooowh one more thing! gw sm iman nyesel bgtttt ga foto di pantai sm sekali. abis keburu kebelet pgn nyebur hahahaha

hello peeps!

gosh i haven't written in aaaaaaaggggeeeesssssss. honestly i miss the thrill of writing but i couldn't bring it back you see. i guess i'm saving all the good stuff for my book. hahaaa

sab bgt gw sok2 mau nulis buku. honestly, it's in mind kok. but probably not anytime soon. i'm thinking about writing later on in life when i'm in my twenties. and if i write stuff here, people might find it and steal it and claims it their idea.

HAHA pd bgt gw. kaya ada aja yg mau nyolong.

ok let's move on. remember when i use to write stuff about religion? yeeah, i miss those good old days. i wish i could still do it but i don't even remember how to start.

i'll try anyway though. haha

so i've been wanting to buy this book the power of now by eckhart toole. it's featured in oprah and there's like this class you attend. i read my boss' copy of the book earlier today and i don't really get it. i mean can people learn to be happy and like constantly happy? well, maybe that's not what the book is about, but i'm in no mood to find out more about it. let alone practice all the theories inside.

you know how people are riveting around about religions. and how i'm sorrounded by friends and family who mostly believe the same religion but there are a hell lot of other beliefs. well honestly i'm kind of tired of how people try to prove what they believe is most right. they show proofs of miracles and all sorts of stuff. so far, i see that miracles occur in every belief i know! from cadavers which doesn't rot to the miraculous mekkah, i believe they are all proof that god exists.

from my point of view. i would never think that god actully holds one religion and only one way to worship him i mean come on. i don't think god's that naive. god is actually the holder, the creator and the one who maintains this whole world. we are all here for a reason, of course. if only one religion is right, then what rules apply to the rest? why do god still care for them the same? some people have callings. true callings of being a muslim, a catholic, a buddhist even an atheist. i think that is also god's doing in order to create life and diversity around us. in order to make us think about our life's purposes and who and what to worship.

ya gt deh in a nutshellnya. hope you like it. i miss sharing my views with you all

tootles!

again, dagong

ini meja tpt gw kerjahalf the post-its under the screen is written by me. there's even one that says jiayou!

and i painted my fingers with an uber tacky pink color. but god knows why, it kind of cheers me up in a way.

dagong aja terus

there are HEAAAPPPSSS of things i want to write here. like how i almost owe my company puluhan juta rupiah and other shit that's been happening to me lately. tp gw lg ga mood cerita itu.

what's been bugging my mind lately is the time limit i have and how i have to divided between friends, family, boyfriend and myself.

i work everyday from monday to friday for approximately 12 hours. jam 8 smp hampir jam 8 lg. last friday, gw baru pulang jam stgh 1 pagi malah. yaa lo tau sendiri lah. yg ada sampe rumah cape kerja dan maunya maen2 bntr. gw seharian blom online, blom maen the sims gt2. trus on weekends, gw pasti ketemuan sm tmn2 gw soalnya any other day gw ga pernah bisa ketemuan. trus minggu, gw sm keluarga karena mereka lebih apa kabar bgt dibanding temen2 gw. 

well, gw si selalu gt ngebagi waktunya. pertanyaannya adalah, trus buat pacar gw kapaaan?????

iya si i knowwww, gw selalu telfon2an klo mlm tp karena blom puas maen2 sendiri jd gw pasti sambil online klo ga maen the sims trus klo sabtu gw pasti jalannya sm tmn2. i know i suck at being a girlfriend. aarrghhh tp my ego just keeps telling me, i still want to playyyyy. i want to me time tanpa harus terikat sm org, meee time!!!

and last night we kind of had the biggest row ever and we were this close to breaking up and all of a sudden i realize how much i still want this relationship and how much i don't want things to end.

i guess, i have been taking iman for granted. i always thought he'd always be there and that i can contact him anytime i want. intinya, i took him for granted. majorly.

i feel so guilty i mean it kind of hit me. if i don't want to sacrifice anything, then don't commit. yg mau commit kan gw, yg masi mau lanjut kan gw, yaudh gw jgn egois dan mengharapkan semua lancar2 aja dong tanpa gw hrs ngorbanin waktu gw sedikit buat iman.

iya emg iman harus bisa ngertiin gw secara gw bnran udh ga punya idup lg, tp ya gw jg harus ngertiin dia lah. apa rasanya bgt deh udh hari biasa dimaklumin gara2 emg kerja, weekend masi ngilang sibuk sendiri. trus klo telfon2an alesannya aaah aku belom maen the sims, belom online belom apalah apalah

aaaah maaf yaaaaaa imaaann. i never ever meant to do all those things bnran2. ga sadar aja. and yes most of all i took you for granted. sigh

huaaaaa jd curhat. but i just had to release that somewhere.

my childhood friends

The Famous Five

a.k.a lima sekawan

for those of you who know that i have a passion for novels, this is where it all began. i remember it like it was yesterday, haha. i saw the book article on bobo. and they were reviewing the famous five. the second book. the indonesian version has a pink border. i forgot the title though. yeah i bought that second book, read it, loved it, and continue buying the rest of the series. before i knew it, i was in love with the five. julian, dick, anne, george and timmy. i remember spreading the disease to nindi later on. haha. that second book, the first novel that i ever bought, i gave it to nindi. soon after she named her dog timmy and started falling in love with the 5 as well. haha. when i moved to australia, i bought the english version. i also still remember, it has pictures, but no colours. i found the one with colours later on and started collecting them. so the famous five was the first novel i ever lay my hands on followed by little house on the prairie(never really liked it though). the famous five is also the first english novel that i've ever read followed by harry potter and roald dahl.

in aussie, there was a time when i rented the famous five video. hahha. i loved it, but it was too british. haha

matilda

god i love this book. seriously. i remember watching the movie a few number of times and had my teacher in aussie read it to the class. Mrs. telford was the name of my teacher. sue telford. i fell in love with roald dahl and started chugging down all his books. i remember reading charlie and the chocolate factory for the first time in the year 2000 when i was on my way to sydney to watch the paralympic games. when i returned to indonesia, i watched willy wonka and the chocolate factory at dhea's house(forgot the precise year). then when i was on my european tour, i bought one roald dahl book in each country.

owh almost forgot! i always loved matilda's quote. the one that goes something along the lines of, "i never look up words that i don't understand. i just let them float around me."

last but definitely not least, in fact, it's the one i miss most

pippi langstrump

a.k.a pippi longstocking

i remember when i was really really little, like 8 or something, my grandma showed me this doll she bought in europe. i remembered it was named pippi, and it had weird clothes, a really happy face and 2 bright red pigtails. i didn't pay that much attention to it.

years later, when i was in a bookfare, my mum showed me a book which i bought and actually loved in. until one day i realized this was the doll my grandma showed me. turns out she bought it in russia. though pippi is not russian. i loved it. i loved the books soooooo much. in fact, once they were going to air it in tv7 once. i remeber the ad was pippi singing "standing on top of mount kilimanjaro, watching the sun rise the wind in my hair. i want to be where ever i want to be, there's magic everywhere"

haaaa gila udh lewat 7 tahun gw masi inget lagunya. haha

so i hope you like my reminiscing. remembering those good old childhood days is one of the best things in life sometimes.

balancing my life at the tip of my fingers

my title, yeah that's what i'm doing. as you all know i am currently dagong ing. in my previous post, i wrote how much of a burden my dagong is, but as time flies by, i'm learning to enjoy it more and more. seriously.

even though i'm starting to enjoy it and not take it as a burden, it still takes up most of my time. so as you know, i work nearly 12 hours a day everyday, from morning till night. once i arrived home, i'm too tired to do anything. mostly just end up feeling guilty towards my boyfriend. i'm just confused whether i should have my own me time or spend it with him, cause usually i only have one or two hours before i fall asleep. i don't have anymore time to study for snmptn, that's why i always bring those latian soals to work and study if there is nothing for me to do. lumayan masuk si. my summer novel(digital fortress) is majorly neglected. meeting up meet friends and families is harder than ever and all sorts of stuff.

then all of a sudden, like a week ago, my senior texted me about me having to find an artist for sinofest. an artist with a little bit of a chinese touch. i don't know what that's supposed to mean. four seasons gt????

when i was recruited into joining acara, i really didn't want to at first. but then they asked me personally cause they needed me to make letters to the chinese embassy. i said my chinese is really bad and that i don't think we should write a letter to the chinese embassy in english seeing we ARE from chinese studies. but they said it doesn't matter. sooooo i have no choice but to join. i have no problem whatsoever on the letters, but the artist thingy, seriously, i never signed up for that. i know it's part of my responsibility and i'm not supposed to neglect it in any way, but it's just soooo hard to even are about it. it's like one more detail is squished into my already crammed head. seriously.

i know it must be pretty frustrating for my seniors to see that they haven't got a reply from me but i kept replying those birthday messages. also they've warned me through facebook chat (easy on the caps lock and exclamation marks there, geez) but it's soooo hard for me to even move my ass to care.

ok, so the message said that they have to get a reply within a week after that message was sent. well, they sent it last saturday so i'll reply it tomorrow.

sigh

sorry of the note's too boring and unnecessary, i just really needed to spill this somewhere.

secret of the week

i gotta love this secret

go read this week's secret, kok gw dpt bgt ya feelnya minggu ini.

being random

-i don't feel like talking about dagong. not AT ALL! it's weekend and i want to cherish it more than ever

-it's my 19th birthday tomorrow!!

-watch drag me to hell. seriously. god knows why, but i like it!

-i saw what your friend just wrote on your wall. hmmm. i don't even know how i'm supposed to react to what i've been hearing about you lately.

-yesterday was me and iman's 2 months anniversary!

-addicted to the sims3. like major

- thinking about going to bed now. bye!

tweeting too hard

check it out, the website where self-important tweets gets the attention they deserve

tweeting too hard

here are some of my favorites. sumpah tengil abisss. hahaha

228 this morning. Rock-hard abs. Looking good. I'd fuck myself if I were flexible enough.

Pruning a few of my Followers. Some of these Twits would Follow their own shadow if they could.

I'm At the Hottest, Newest..Exclusive club in Ny rite now. I could tell u the name and where..But u couldn't get in Anyway..So why Bother!

I seem to get two kinds of Twitter followers: People who want me, and people who want to be me.

dagong

so i now have an internship or as we know it, magang. in chinese it's called dagong and that's what i feel like calling it. it's pronounced takung, but you can read it whatever you want.

this dagong thing, it's at this completely high tech office where everybody uses blackberry and the latest mac. it also pays well, all my friends seem to blurt out my favorite animal every time i mention the salary i get. hehee. but to get that amount of salary, it sure isn't an easy work.

so this company is a brand consulting company. you know, so famous brands and companies go there to consult their packaging, appearance and that sort of stuff. me, i'm put in the business department. yeah, unfortunately you heard,==or in this case read, that right. for those who know me, you may also no that i have NO experience in the business department. let alone experience, i have no KNOWLEDGE. na-da. effing ZERO. and don't even get me started on how i get there in the first place. zzzzz

so the first day i was all.......................??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i didn't have a clue to what i was doing and what i was supposed to do. i ate lunch on the table with others but they weren't very friendly which makes me miss having lunch with my friends more than anything. then the hard work starts when i took part in the meeting and was told to make the minute. i was all like, shit! what the fucking fuck is a minute? isn't that like, 60 seconds??? well it turns out a minute is a contact report. so it is a report of everything discussed in the meeting and all the decisions made. yeah great, a person like me is responsible for that kind of thing. tingkat kebelean and keskipan gw kan TINGGI BGT. later on in life, you'll probably know that those guys participating in the meeting do not keep track of what they say and discuss. there are just so many things and they can't remember all. so they have to have someone to keep track of everything a.k.a me. dan gw ga boleh salah nulis or ga sempet nulis or things like that. 

and it is just so EXHAUSTING. gw kerja tu 11 jam an gt. kurang lebih. dr jam 8 pagi smp kurang lebih jam 7. udah cape, ga ngerti apa2. really that isn't the best feeling in the world. sumpah udh mau mati bgt klo gw disuruh tp ga ngerti. biarpun udh nanya masi ga ngerti jg. all i can do is nangis2 ke iman smp rumah. but seriously i HAVE GOT TO STOP DOING THAT! kesian imannya beneran deh. lama2 pasti cape jg lah dgrin gw nangis. trus i seriously have to get a grip cause mau smp kapan kaya gini kan gw gw jg yg cape. well, i'm getting more and more pw by the day siii. but still, ga ketolongan bgt capenya.

gw td smp rumah jam 8 lewat, skrg gw masi harus bikin minute dan besok pagi gw harus cpt2 ke kantor cuma buat ngambil voucher taxi sm ngejemput org trus lgsg cabut lg ke tpt rapat which is an hour ride and after that rapat, another minute has to be made. hooray me.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(*^&*%&*$#$#$^&%^ god i feel like swearing soooooo much

......

cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape cape capekkkkkkkkkkk

last days in fib

lately, i don't know why, it's just been sooo hard for me to cry. i re-watched sad movie and i didn't cry, i watched marley and me and i didn't cry, i watched the season finale of grey's anatomy and i didn't cry(ini gw bingung bgt). but i just wrote iman's goodbye note in facebook and i've only just read the few lines and tears started coming down. by the time i finished reading, i cried myself shitless. it was just soooooo sad. the thought of him having to leave his closest friends just kills me.

here, i'll post the letter here. it'll probably send me back to tears again but whatever.

yah minggu ini minggu terakhir gue d fib. artinya gue gk bakal nemuin makhluk2 kyk lo2 lg d fisip. dan gk ada si wo dsana. buat gue pindah k fiib berarti gue keilangan bgt tmn2 gue yg udh gue anggep kyk sodara. gue seneng bgt masuk fib. karena gue dapetin tmn baru dan juga pacar baru. haha. yg ga ada senioritas jg minoritas. pertama kali gua masuk fib sih kesannya biasa aja jlek lg gedungnya.haha. gue jg liat tmn2 gue yg baru kok gini2 amat yak. tp seiring dengan berjalannya waktu. gue sadar kalo mereka baik bgt dan bner2 menerima satu sama lain. fib itu tmpt lo bisa ngejalanin sesuatu tanpa kepura2an. semua org menerima lo apa adanya. mereka org2 yg lebih mikir k bwh drpd k atas. dan gue ngerasa gue menemukan tmpat gue aja d fib. gue masi inget si sodik yg manggil gue tempa tempe lah. anak2 cwe manggil gue aimen lah. irwindo yg gk jelas. ceng2an ama marsha. dcengin ama acong. nyiksa si zae dan tata jg. maen ama non reg drumput. maen futsal bola brg. kulturfest. maen petasan d gedung 9. ahaha. maen d kansas ampe malem. masuk kls frau leli (yg bikin ngantuk amat ni kuliah). kenalan ama tuti dsb. maen k kosan dela ama si sinta. nyiksa si icha d leher ampe kejang2 dia. hahaaha. bilang k indra " ndra siaga satu ndra, ada ratu kansas mau dtg " ama cengan kulit duku dr si medi. hahha. solat jumat brg. liat fandy begituan. uas pske. maen capsa. terlalu byk ingatan gue walaupun cm 2 smster disini. makanya gue sempet mikir pas mau pindah dr fib. karena gue punya keluarga baru d fib.( bukan keluarga abang ye). lo gue anggep tmn2 gue yg plg deket.( lebay ih iman ih). hahaha. tp satu yg jelas. semoga gue masi bisa k kansas smster dpn. ngeliat lo2 pd lg. trus masi menjaga hubungan pertemanan gue ama lo2 semua ank jerman. terima kasih atas kemurahan hati lo smua ank2 jerman. gue gk tau cara ngebls lo smua

 no it did not send me to tears this time actually. thank god. cape jg gw nangis. 

this also really got me thinking,'segitu beratnya lho ninggalin fib.'

hmmmmmm

anyway, i'm glad i spent my last few weeks in fib with iman in the most amazing ways i can imagine. we have our moments and our corners and we've laughed and we've pissed each other off and i will never forget those days.

it's really going to be hard entering kansas and not seeing him amidst his friends from german studies.

last friday was his last day in fib(it could also be my last!). honestly, i kind of regretted ending his days in fib in a pretty big fight in gedung 9 over something completely unimportant. i started the fight and it was all my doing. he was just so confused and frustrated about my behaviour, he wen't straight home. well not exactly home, solat jumat dulu di istiqlal. haha. (penting abis gw tulis).

well all in all, have a fun new life in fisip boy! i know you'll do great cause you really are a chameleon. you fit and adapt well pretty much everywhere. =)

toy story 3!

i could just watch this over and over and over! can't wait!!!!

F I B

kenapa gw harus di fib? kenapa fakultas yg harus gw tinggalin klo keterima snmptn adalah fib? knp fib tu paraaaaah bgt pwnya? knp fib udah mendarah daging bgt di gw? knp gw harus sayang bgt sm fib? knp gw betah bgt berjam2 di kansas? knp gw pas pertama kali masuk kelas di fib trus ngeliat keluar jendela, pemandangannya BGS BGT(6210)? knp gw belajar maen capsa di fib? knp gw belajar maen futsal di fib? knp tmn2 gw di fib ENAK BGT? knp gw kenalan sm iman di fib? knp gw i love every little god damned thing about fib(except the toilets maybe)? knp klo tmn2 gw lg cerita ttg ga enaknya lingkungan kuliah mereka gw selalu bersyukur gw punya fib?  kenapa perpus fib itu enaaaaak bgt? shit, there are sooooooooooo many more things about fib that i love. meskipun gw blom tentu ninggalin jg, tp the thought itself just makes me go all.......... i can't even find a word for this

ok, now i'm confused

ok. too much is going on right now and i really need to pull myself together.

first of all, gw masi cape abis latian drama. cape cape cape cape. trus masa td kan baju gw agak2 lebih ketat dari kaos2 yg gw pake ke kampus kan, trus gw pulang pake jaket MUnya iman. hahaha. kocak aja si, secara MU baru kalah semalem. dan PANAS YA!

but what's been bugging me is, gw penasaran bgt ikut snmptn lagi. shiteeeeeee. umb ga bisa, it's too late. tp snmptn masi sebulan lebih. malah hampir dua bulan. daaaaan setelah perundingan dgn bonyok gw, gw memutuskan ikut.

shit shit shit, skrg gw bingung. gw PGN BGTTT keterima snmptn. tapi at the same time gw udah PW bgt di cina. sumpah. parah parah parah. paraaaaaaaahhhhhh. sumpah itu pasti susaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh bgtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ninggalin tmn2 gw di cina, trus ninggalin pelajaran2 gw di kelas, ninggalin kansas! and overall, ninggalin FIB!!!!!

sumpah bisa gila gw bnran deh. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. jd trus gmn dong dong dong dong???? masalahnya gw jg ga mau terus di cina tp penasaraaaaaannnnnnn. gw harus melakukan ngilangin penasaran gw! aaaah shit shit shit.

bingung euy. sumpah bingung. paraaaaaaahhhh

uas is finally over

well except for pengantar kesusastraan, but at least the worst is over. so i think it's time to write about that day i got my fortune told.

so it was my aunt and my nephew's birthday and my aunt called in a tarot reader just for fun. i had my fortune told and honestly, he almost got everything right. even the many people who got their fortune told before me said so. i mean, the guy was right about everything i was going through.

the thing is, you know how fortune telling is a percaya ga percaya thing? well, i think, if you believe in fortune telling, god will make it a media to send messages to you. and if you don't believe it then god won't, cause he knows you won't even budge after hearing all that. so for example, if i was told that i will finish my study in uni quickly and get my dream job--which unfortunately i was not--if i believed it, it will encourage me to do study well and get there faster. and if i was told i could make that change i've always wanted to see in the world, then it would encourage me to do it faster.

so, my point is, i don't believe that fortune telling is a sin. i mean, sure that's what religions tell us. but life isn't all black and white. it isn't all write and wrong. i mean, i'm sure god has a better way of thinking rather just plain black and white, right and wrong. bener salah, dosa pahala.

me and my friends have been going to fisip really often these last few days. the reason is to buy that amazing double oreo milkshake with rum. seriously, they're really great. i don't mind having them everyday. we all go there just to have fun, but the thing is, sentences such as, " ini sebenernya dosa ga si?" is pretty much inevitable. the most common answer to that is just plain,"yaelah dikit doang." which i think doesn't really make sense cause the rules states that you're not even allowed to drink a drop. if you believe that is. but i've also heard some people fiddling around with the rules. the rules states that you are not allowed to drink what makes you drunk. so some friends of mine assume, as long's as you stay sober, it's not a sin.

well, honestly, honestly, this is one of the cons of religions. everything is soooooo set. everything is either right or wrong, bener atau salah, dosa atau pahala. once you find yourself in a grey area, you get all confused and search for a rule that makes you sure what to do.

oh come on people, we have minds don't we? we can tell what's right and what's wrong using our minds can't we? sure there are times we need help, but we don't always need them for every little thing don't we?

masi uas smp jumat

you know i really feel like writing my beliefs just like those good old days. tp kok ga dpt2 ya moodnya?

uas uas uas

i know i'm supposed to be studying because tomorrow's test is the most killer of all but i really feel like posting. iman came to my house earlier to accompany to study. haha. my friends said yeah as if i can ever study with a boyfriend beside me. but it turned out ok. he was pretty silent most of the time(karena gw jejelin one piece). and i studied pretty well. and every time i start to get bored and starts bugging him, he'll tell me to continue studying haha. gooooood. but over all,  we did spare some time to have fun and take pictures and even make a video together.

i don't feel like uploading the video cause it's rebek and it's pretty silly anyway. haha.

and now my studying mood is definitely turned off and i wish iman was here again to turn it back on. sigh.

yesterday, i saw this tarot reader and he read my cards. i'll tell you about it later on cause if yi write in now i could go on rambling and that's not what i want to happen cause my books are right beside me waiting to be fucking studied. fuck.

but i'll write a little more about yesterday. i chatted with 3 of my old friends. baya, monster and sen2. it's been ages since i last talked to them. baya's going to accompany to me to put my cv later next week and we definitely have to stay and chat later on cause we have a lot of catching up to do. and monster and sen2 just the usual chat. honestly, talking to them really does make me feel pretty great. i mean, sure i still keep contact with my high school friends, but only the ones from school. and it's great to spend time talking to some friends outside school because they remind me more of my high school life. and maybe i've been too hooked up with my uni and stuff, it really does feel great to rewind those good old days.

well, back to studying then. uuurrggghhh

why i love omegle so much

Stranger: 苏州有好多园林，还有很多好吃的东西

You: 啊中国菜！

You: 哈哈

You: 在北京应该只北京烤鸭

You: 一定很好吃

Stranger: 对的

Stranger: 我吃过的~~

Stranger: 你很了解中国啊

Stranger: 不错不错

You: 哈哈谢谢

Stranger: 我都不怎么了解你们国家

Stranger: 你们有很多岛

You: 我不太了解

You: 只知道疑点儿

Stranger: 然后羽毛球很强

Stranger: 林丹经常输给你们

You: 在中国，应该参观长城

You: 故宫， 天安门

Stranger: 嗯

hahahahaha

i just feel like posting

ok so maybe it won't hurt if i gave you all updates of my life which isn't going anywhere. zzzzz

-lately i am soooooooooooooooooo unproductive. i HATE being unproductive. but i at the same time i don't feel like being productive at the moment.

-i'm a vegetarian (again) now. the again refers to that time in the 8th grade where i won't eat animals cause i don't agree with animal slaughter. but that was real brief. this time, i'm doing it for another reason and it's been working really well. OH SHIT!!!! sambil nulis ini gw baru inget. td pas di Y grill gw sempet makan steak punya nykp gw apa ade gw gt. sumpah gw baru nyadar sekarang. but apart from that. i've been meat free for quite someday.

-uas uas uas uas uas

-i'm getting a part time job soon. wish me luck. i'm really looking forward to it.

-it's saturday night but i've been home since 11 and i feels so nyampah.. i have to friggin study because of this friggin uas. it's not that i want to go kelayapan smp pagi and all, tp rasanya kentang aja lg enak2 pergi trs harus balik cepet soalnya masu belajar buat uas. biarpun org blg klo maen minggu di rumah ujung2nya jg ga bljr, tp gw bnran bljr. zzzzzzz

-yaudh deh gw blajar dulu

the case of the disappearing row of seats!!!

so today there's another one of those thing where a movie is played in my campus's auditorium. instead of watching with iman as i usually do, today i watched with my friend Agis. oh and, the movie was wall-e.

so when i came it, it was pitch black. extremely dark as fuck and i couldn't see a thing. but our eyes got used to the light after a while. ok, stop right there just a second. before i can tell you the main story, i have to describe how my auditorium is like.

my auditorium doesn't have any audience seat. but you can put rows of seats for special occasion. so all in all, the seats in my auditorium is adjustable. you can have them, and you can just leave the floor seatless and sit on the floor.

do you get the picture? if you don't, please write it in my comment because i really want to give you a clear picture.

well, me and agis decided to sit at the very back. it was dark and the rows of seat were so close to each other so to get in we have to pardon ourselves to people sitting in our row. you know, just like you do in the movies when you want to go to the toilet or buy some food. sometimes the people even have to lift up their legs to their seat. once we got to our seat with so much struggle, agis decided to go to the toilet. so she went back and had to apologize to all the people sitting in our row. once agis is back, it was my turn to go to the toilet. trust me, it wasn't easy getting through that tiny space between rows and i had to hold the chairs in the row in front of me to keep my balance. i did the same thing when i was on my way back from the toilet to my seat. once i put my but on my seat. i look up and i was totally between speechless and just too fucking shocked. all i could do was say to agis, "gis, td bukannya di depan kita ada satu row korsi lg ya?" and agis could only go,"iya id iya! oh my!"

the row of seat in front of us have disappeared!!!!

just like that. i don't know where it went. and there was just this gaping space in front of us where we could walk real freely. the row of seat 2 rows in front of us is still there, it's just that the row in front of us disappeared just like THAT

so do you get the story? to make it easier, let's just picture it like this. you're watching a movie on row A which is at he very back. you realized that there is a row B in front of you. then all of a sudden you look up and there is no row B, there's just a row C.

i mean, shittttt. me and agis couldn't even concentrate on the movie. how could a row of seat disappeared in a matter of seconds under our noses! there's just this gaping space in front of us. if the space was there from the beginning, we wouldn't have to bother the people in our row when we went to the toilet. we could just walk and not touch a single person cause the space is just so wide and there's no way on earth we could've missed it.

agis said that no wonder the people were confused when we pardon ourselves and pass really close to them while there is actually a huge gap in front of us.

I TOUCHED THE SEATS IN FRONT OF US FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!

i felt it in my hand. how could it have disappeared?

well, i'm not saying it's possible me and agis were really bele at that time. but we have to be REALLY bele and what are the odds of two people experiencing the same amount of beleness.

oh shit where the fuck this that row go.

FINALLY!!!

i've finished my first ever rubik's cube!!!!! hahahaha

hey hey

hey there, i'm just booooreeeed shitless and not in the mood to post anything meaningful. tried solving the rubik's cube. failed miserably, even with clear instructions from youtube. yeah, i'll probably end up switching the stickers again.

maybe one more post won't hurt

something;s been bugging my mind lately actually. well, iman's list of things to give on mother's day was actually the trigger of it all. 

i'm not really close with my parents. i guess, i use to, before the divorce. after that, it's like there's this distance that i can't stop from happening. i've tried a lot of times. trust me. but there's just this invisible 'barrier' that is just there. it's like, deep down somewhere, without me even realizing it, i kind of have lost my trust for them ages ago. sure i still talk to them and go out often and joke at a lot of stuff. introduce my boyfriend and my friends and stuff like that. but it's just, i've never ever plan to give them anything for mother or father's day. let alone mother's day and father's day, i hardly ever congratulate them on their birthday. same goes for lebaran.

the thing is, i don't ever give them anything, a birthday present, a parent's day present. but that's not what matters, i'm worrying more about my the fact that i never even THINK about giving them anything. it's true i guess, i do take my parents for granted.

i guess i do constantly thank god that they're all still alive and well. and the main and sometimes, the only reason i want to be successful is for their sake cause i know that's what they want from me more than something from louis vuitton or mont blanc that i can't even afford for their birthday. but seeing how great they all are, i always think, 'geez, can i ever EVER make them genuinely proud of me?'

since i don't believe in hell, i think, what's my karma for all this?

zzzzzzzzzz

excuse the fact that i use 'all' instead of 'both'

you know what,

i thk i'm going to take a reallllllyyyyyyyyy long hiatus from this blog. there are things i really want to write down and share actually, personal things and common things. but, i don't know, lately writing in my blog just doesn't feel the way it used to make me feel. i use to be able to go on 4-5 posts a day, but now, let alone a day, i couldn't even post that much in a month. so yeah, see you later. maybe i'll start next month. bye for now!

100

yun, gw bikin jg yaaaa

001. Real name : Pramesti Widya Kirana
002. Like it? : loves it
003. Nickname(s) : idya
004. Status : in a relationship
005. Zodiac sign : gemini
006. Male or female : female
007. Elementary : SD Tarakanita 1, Hughes Primary School, SDN 05 pagi
008. Middle School : SMP Tarakanita 5
009. High School : SMA Tarakanita 1
010. Hair color : black
011. Long or short : short
012. Eye color : dark brown
013. Weight : 54
014. Height : don't know
015. Righty or lefty : righty
016. Loud or Quiet : both
017. Sweats or Jeans : jeans, qu nali2
018. Phone or Camera : camera
019. Health freak : no
020. Piercings? : yes
021. Do you have a crush on someone? :  yes,my boyfriend
022. Eat or Drink : eat
023. Purse or Backpack : backpack
024. Tattoos : curious, but no
025. Do You Like Yourself? : yes
026. Current worry? : lulus bahasa cina modern

THIS OR THAT:
027. Orange or Apple Juice? : orange
028. Night or Day? : day
029. Sun or Moon? : moon
030. TV or Internet? : internet
031.PlayStation or XBox? : play station
032. Kiss or Hug? : kiss
033. Iguana or Turtle? : turtles
034. Spider or Bee? : bee
035. Fall or Spring? : fall
036. Limewire or iTunes? : limewire
037. Soccer or Baseball? : soccer

FIRSTS:
038. First surgery : never. not anytime soon i hope
039. First piercing : don't remember
040. First best friend : lots
041. First Sport? : gymnastics
042. First award : fashion show when i was in kindergarten
043. First crush : a friend from primary school
044. First pet : dog
045. First big vacation : australia. i think
046. First big birthday : 5 years old

CURRENTLY:
047. Eating : nothing
048. Drinking : water
049. I'm about to : eat, and ask my mum for something from ebay. teehee
050. Listening to : nothing
051. Singing? : the fear-lily allen
052. Typing? : this
053. Waiting for : food

YOUR FUTURE:
054. Want kids? : yes. definitely
055. When? : after marriage
056. Want to get married? : of course
057. When? : not anytime soon
058. Where Do You Want To Live? : jakarta
059. Careers in mind : news reporter, sinologist, AUTHOR
060. What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? : mbak2 yg mencetin lift. for real
061. Mellow Future Or Wild? : WILD!
062. Something You Would Never Try? : eating cockroaches

WHICH IS BETTER WITH BOY?
063. Lips or eyes : eyes
064. Shorter or taller? : taller
065. Romantic or spontaneous : romantic
066. Nice stomach or nice arms : NICE STOMACH!!
067. Sensitive or loud : sensitive
068. Hook-up or relationship : hook-up
069. Trouble maker or hesitant : trouble maker 
070. Hugging or Kissing? : kissing
071. Tan Skinned or Light? : tanned
072. Dark or Light Hair? : dark
073. Muscular or Normal? : normal

HAVE YOU EVER:
074. Lost glasses/contacts : all the time/ constantly
075. Ran away from home : never
076. Held a gun/knife for self defense? : thank god, no
077. Killed somebody : no
078. Broken someone's heart : yes
079. Been arrested : no
080. Cried when someone died : of course
081. Kissed A Stranger? : no
082. Climbed Up A Tree? : yes
083. Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? : yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
084. Yourself : at times
085. Miracles : yes
086. Love at first sight : no
087. Heaven : hmmmm, i'd like to believe it's true
088. Santa Claus : no
089. Kiss on the first date : no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
090. Is there one person you want to be with right now : iman iman iman
091. Do You Like Someone? : my boyfriend!
092. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life : not until i become and official author
093. Do you believe in God : yes, but i have my own concept of god though

LASTS
094. Recieved/Sent Text Message : kgn deeeeh --> to iman. hahaa
095. Received Call : papa
096. Call Made? : om de
097. Comment On MySpace? : wo jie shou le-> from deni july 26 2008 haha
098. Missed Call? : i haven't saved the number. forgot who it is
099. Person You Hung out With? : nindi

100. tag tag tag tag tag

things on my head right now

i can't find the mood to write padahal i have a gazillion things in my head i wish i could spill a post right now. so what i'm going to do is just make a list of all the things i want to post about.

-movies that are better than the books their based on

-the comparison of singapore's MRT station and jakarta's jabotabek train station. hahahaaaaa

-the latest polaroid camera. ooooooohhh seriouslyyyyy it's TO DIE FOR

-what you should and should not do with a pair of brand new nudies. teehee

-the usual junk i write, my life and all

-should i start writing a nook now or later in life?

-maybe more religion stuff

ya gt deh pokoknya. i'll write them when i find the mood

hey hey

sorry for the major lack of updates. i just haven't find the mood again

postsecret

for those who don't know, postsecret is a blog where people's secret are displayed. you send your secret by mail though, not by email. you write them on postcards and you decorate them. the founder, frank warren, started by giving random people sheets of paper telling them to write their secret and send them to a certain adress. he believes that art is a way to decrease your depression. frank puts up 20 new secrets every sunday, but you can't see the older posts.

surprisingly, you really connect to people just by reading their deepest secrets. it also amazes you how great people's thoughts can be. by reading postsecret, i learn not to judge people because sometimes, they can't help think their thoughts. and there is nothing wrong with that. i suggest you all read postsecret, you'll be amazed how people's mind works. these are 2 of my favorite secrets from this week.

see, you really can't blame her for wanting to adopt more than having a child of her own. and you really can't blame the father for thinking his teenager is autistic, but at the same time, you can see how much that hurts the teenager.

i've never send a secret to postsecret, i'd LOVE to though.

oh. hmm. shit

to make a long story short, my bag is, thank god, back.

now, there is one other thing that's kind of bothering me and i really really need to spill.

it happened last night. i HAVE to tell someone or else i'll go crazy. but i'm not ready to be judged. shit, i am SO not ready to be judge by others. cause i myself is is holding back myself from judging myself. i have only told one person about this and i don't think i'm ready to tell another. so, what i'm trying to do here is try to make you all understand the deal without really knowing the deal.
so it's this thing between me and iman. it has nothing to do with a third person(anymore). it's about the two of us. well, he was really nice about it but i can't help but to feel how he really feels. cause really, it shows.

aaaaaaarrrggghhhh. he's too nice for me and here i am making bloopers for the umpteenth time padahal kita kaya baru 2 minggu gt going out.

@%@#$!^@$%#^%!!!!!

right now, my sister is pissing me off more than anything in the whole wide world. so my kate moss longchamp bag has been for months. it's really weird cause you can't lose a bag without losing it's contents. ga mungkin kan gw pergi trus tas gw ilang tp isinya gw bawa pulang k rumah. klo gw pergi pake tas, ya gw pasti balik pake tas jg. jadi ya emg PASTI ada yg ngambil dari kamar gw. no doubt about that. selama ini gw bingung bgt bnran. gw smp nanya nykp gw bnr kan tas gw ga di laundry? bener kan tas gw ga dijual di ebay? smp gw nanya ade gw bnr kan ga dipinjemin k tmn2 lo?

soalnya pernah tas item gw dipinjemin k tmnnya dan baliknya lamaaaa bgt. gw bahkan ga tau tu tas dipinjemin k tmnnya dia. trus ade gw blg dia ga minjemin. dia blg ga mungkin dia minjemin longchamp k tmnnya.

okay fine, gw percaya.

gw smp sempet accuse seseorang dan sumpah gw GA ENAK BGT soalnya in the end my sister said tasnya ternyata ada di temennya.

NYETTTTTTTTTT SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????? FOR ALL THOSE MONTHS GW KELABAKAN NYARI!!!!!!!!

yg bikin gw kesel bukan cuma masalah tu tas ga balik tapi byk yg bikin lebih kesel lg dr sekedar ga balik:

pertama, ade gw tu ga bisa boong k gw. bnran deh. ga bisa. ketauan pokoknya. and i trust her when she said dia ga minjemin k temennya. this proves that dia bahkan GA INGET dong pernah minjemin k temennya. sumpah ya itu ever so fucking major reckelessss!!!!!!

second, dia bahkan ga blg k gw!!!!!!!! shit, tau gt gw kan ga usah curiga2 sm org yg ga salah dan bingung sendiri tu tas kmn!!!

third, ade gw baru ngmng pas dia dgr gw ngmng k nykp gw klo gw ngerasa tas gw diambil satu oknum tertentu.

and last, havaianas high gw jg dipinjemin k temennya dan gw ga tauuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!! ok untungnya ini udh balik, tp ya itu dia, gw ga tauuuu

OOOH! one more, ADE GW BAHKAN GA YAKIN TASNYA ADA DI TMNNYA DIA YG MANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't talk to my sister cause no matter how FUCKING hard i try to keep myself calm and not burst into million bits of anger, she will yell at me anyway. cause she yells when she's scared or feel threatened. the problem is never going to be solved that way. soooooooooo i write it in my blog cause I KNOW she reads my blog. 

i AM NOT going to post another post until i get the bag back so this post stays up high. my sister said her friend was going to bring it today but her friend said that she left it in her car. yeah, talk about decent excuses.