=(

you know how when nothing is actually wrong but nothing feels right at the same time? well, i'm having one of those moments and i just want to keep writing until i feel better. tp, trus kapan gw belajar???? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. gw udah sengaja ga ikut keluarga gw pergi biar gw bisa belajar di rumah tp gw dr td udah usaha ga masuk2 aja tu semua pelajaran.

masi berapa puluh lagi karakter cina yang gw afalin? ngafalin segini aja udah susah gimana gw mau ngafalin smp beribu2? pake ada urutan ngegambernya nya segala lg, pake NADA segala lg. zzzzzzzzzzzz.

you know when things you have been avoiding finally happens anyway, you start throwing what if questions.

what if i dared myself to cabut okk and just go to bandung anyway?

what if i eliminate all gengsi2 tai and just go with my dad to bandung at that time?

there are like ten gazillion other what ifs in my head right now. but those 2 are the ones bugging me the most. if i did go to bandung at those 2 chance i had, it might not make the relationship last longer, but it'l definitely allow me to spend more times with him even if it just an hour or so. gossssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ini sebenernya sangat amat bertentangan sm prinsip gw yg mengatakan, jangan pernah nyesel, pasti ada alesan knp gw ga ngelakuin hal-hal itu dulu.

but still