into the wild

the title, yeah, i watched that movie yesterday. it was great! i know it's somehow basi but it's still really good. emile hirsch is also the hottest thing alive! haha. if you haven't seen it, it's about this guy who graduates from college, donates all his savings to charity then decides to just live out there alone in the wild. his real name is christopher mccandless but he changes it to alex supertramp. he's really passionate about reading and living out in the wild. he even brought with him a load of books to read in the wild.

speaking about passion, i wonder what's mine? today i kind of found out that to truly charge and never give up on something, you really do have to love that thing your doing. you can't just pick anything and decide that's you passion in live. you have to completely live it and decide that you really cannot continue on living without that one thing. feel no pressure in doing it and actually make money from it. but the thing is, what's my passion?

so ok, i like to read. and i LOVE sharing what i've read. i like recommending books to people and i like discussing books i've read. i ALWAYS bring a novel everywhere i go. i read in the train, in the station, in the cafeteria, in between classes and in every time that's possible to read. i just got so used to it, i sometimes forget that being in a constant reading mode is not something normal. i love to write as well, but every time i get a chance to publish my writings, my mood kind of drops and it would turn out to be completely crap. so i guess my weakness is, i like to have fun, but when i have to commit to somethings, i'll completely back off.

so i figured, reading the one thing i'm really passionate about. that and religions. haha. and what good would it be if i couldn't share what i've known so far? the problem is, i have major major lack in public speaking skills.

speaking of sharing what i know, i've lately discovered that i LOVE to teach. i love it when people come up to me to help them with some of their work. i love it when fanie would ask me to paraphrase or translate her work which are usually extremely hard. i find that really challenging. i was pretty happy when in the holidays when nche asked me to translate her boyfriend's english assignment. it sure gave me a little something in the boredom of my holiday. i really liked, it when laras, asked me to change the structure of a sentence later knowing that i got 5 of them wrong. haha. by teaching people other things, i get to learn new things myself. apart from english stuff, a week ago james asked me to help with correct all the wrongs in his essay, in bahasa indonesia. i was really glad that i could immediately detect a wrong sentence or structure when i see one. oh and my favorite, when the people from french studies ask me for help in greek mythology. haha

i'm not saying i want to be a teacher and honestly, i don't think i'm teaching anyone that much when i teach. gile gw masi minim bgt kali. haha. but, at least it's nice to share what i know instead of keeping them to myself. my cousin as a radio presenter told me today that he can't live without broadcasting. haha. he loves the fact that he's able to tell all the people out there about the books he's read, the places he goes to and stuff like that and gets responses from listeners! wowy. i want that. but for now, i really have to find something i would totally dig.

hey were still young aren't we? i'm definitely taking some time to discover who i really am and what i really want to be =)