god does not schmod

so all this time i've been writing all those posts about my views towards religions and beliefs. i don't know why but i really do enjoy those kinds of things. right now i'm just hoping this isn't all caused by the religiulous trend. books springing everywhere with titles like ' god is not great', 'in god we doubt', 'the atheist's bible' unsoweiter.

really, i enjoy being in this zone. in this paticular zone where i go around discussing about religions and beliefs with whoever wants to. but amongst all those posts i've been publishing, i feel like i'm still missing something. a stance.

yeah, i'm missing a stance. some of you may be confused. so am i a devout atheist, or just an agnostic, or someone whose just been too poisoned by philosophy, or am i really that crazy to worship a spaghetti monster?

well, wherever i am? i am 100% sure of what i believe. here is what i believe in exactly the way i live it:

i do believe in god, i really do, it's just that i think god works in a way none of us can ever truly understand. and i don't believe in religions cause i think it's all just too weird. i still believe that religion is a way humans try to explain the unexplainable. and i believe that i am in a constant relationship with god. i believe that god is with me in every single thing i do. and i mean every little thing. somehow, i just know what god wants me to do and what god wants me to learn. so i trust god ENTIRELY and since i am in a constant relationship with god and that he is with me in everything i do, i don't pray the way other people do. i don't spare a few minutes each day to have a conversation with god or whatever, i show my prayers in the things i do. i am not exaggerating when i say, i seem to always know what god wants me to do. sure i've made a huge number of mistakes in the past, but even god wants me to learn from those mistakes.

once, me and my friends discussed about what we do when we're scared. most people say they pray and ask god for safety. but i don't pray when i get scared cause: 

a. don't lie to yourself, you know it doesn't change a thing except give you comfort which you can get another way and 

b. god puts us in that scared position in the first place. god puts us in that place also for a reason. something we have to figure out. cause really, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i mean come on, why would god want to pull you out of the situation if it was him who put you in it for the first time. i'm sure the things god make us go through is all for the best of reasons.

soooooo, that is what i believe in. i may be religioulous, but i am so into god. this is also a matter of choice cause like i've said a million times before, everyone has their own comfort zone.

oh and honestly, i have NEVER felt this close to god before. hehe