found an interesting link

www.moslemanswer.wordpress.com

makin ga ngerti gw sm ni agama satu. so ok the people who sends in the questions are mostly too harsh and just want to point out how nonsense islam is.

fyi, yes i'm on your side, but if you barge in and call their prophet a sex maniac and their god a 'setan yang gila disembah' and that islam is lebih rendah dari binatang, ya iyalah mereka marah dan ini malah ga bisa jadi perdebatan yang adil.

and when i read the answers, it surprises me more and more how extremely violent that religion is. and how most people are too brainwashed to even think straight and out of the box. the box keeping their minds trapped. you're answers don't make sense too. you sort of pull us away from the main question and drag us somewhere else, somewhere you can convince us. trust me, you have no idea how annoying that is.

mulai mempertanyakan

nanti gw gede jadi apa ya? haha

udah lama si mempertanyakan ini tp gw penasaran benerannn. nyari kerja ga gampang gt

friday with nurul

Nurul says: (9:36:09 PM)

kalo ngomong kasian

Nurul says: (9:36:15 PM)

minggu lalu gw ada garage sale

Nurul says: (9:36:21 PM)

jual barang bekas sih tepatnya

Nurul says: (9:36:35 PM)

krn gw sama senior gw udh males bawa barang balik ke kampus,akhirnya dijual dgn harga seribu satu

Nurul says: (9:36:38 PM)

langsung rame kan

Nurul says: (9:36:50 PM)

kebanyakan ibu2 sih yg beli,tp tetep aja kan rame gitu laku,seneng

Nurul says: (9:36:55 PM)

trus dtg anak cowok

Nurul says: (9:37:06 PM)

kaya abis ngamen/ngemis gitu

Nurul says: (9:37:20 PM)

pake cln jeans,kaos sama bawa kantong permen hasil ngamen

Nurul says: (9:37:26 PM)

trus dia milih2 barang

Nurul says: (9:37:34 PM)

dia ngangkat tas bekal

Nurul says: (9:37:42 PM)

trus nanya,kak,ini harganya berapa kak?

Nurul says: (9:37:47 PM)

seribu dek

Nurul says: (9:37:56 PM)

trus mukanya lsg berubah seneng gitu kan

Nurul says: (9:38:01 PM)

trus dia semangat milih2

Nurul says: (9:38:14 PM)

akhirnya dia ngambil ransel sailor moon gitu

Nurul says: (9:38:20 PM)

ngambil uang dr kantong permennya

sumpah ya!!!! gw nangis abis baca itu!!!

%&%&*(%(*%^&@&$

-i hate it when people underestimate me

-i hate it when people don't appreciate me for what i think

-i hate it when people think i'm sesat

-i hate it when people don't believe me but they believe other people for the same thing

-i hate it when there's a long line at the toilet

-i just don't get it when people can't see how wrong they've been and keep blaming others(ini susah emang)

-i need my own space, more

-i wish people were more responsible, i wish I was more responsible

-i wish i could kick you're ass for being such a jerk. seriously, ga nyangka parah gw

-i wish chinese isn't this much of a burden for me

against interpretation

kata susan sontag, interpretation adalah suatu cara manusia menjelaskan sesuatu yang tidak bisa dimengerti oleh manusia itu.

well, it goes something like that. correct me if i'm wrong.

eh eh, it's been ages ya since i haven't write about religion? hahaha

well, tonight i feel like discussing religion as your identity. personally, i think religion is something we share with god, not something that you show to the world. i'm just not one to join groups like proud to be a muslim or whatever. about flying spaghetti monster, it's a parody religion, different story.

anyway, honestly, i am extremely annoyed that my ID still says i'm a muslim. allow me to be frank, i am NOT PROUD of that fact. AT ALL. that 6 letter word is just soooooooo against my identity. and isn't the point of an ID card is to show people your identity? i think it's stupid that we can only choose 5 religions. who are the governments anyway to declare that those 5 religions are the 'right' owns. i've always wanted to make a change. i HAVE to, before i die. i have to and i WILL. i didn't know what i should make a change in, i always thought i'll know when i know. and today i just felt a lightbulb being turned on above my head. i want to erase that STUPID rule. the one where we have to have a religion. that stupid effing frigging rule that has no meaning at all. that forces people to make a choice and lie about their own identity. emang siiiiii, my identity is my identity, fuck what my ID says, but i can't hide the fact it matters. all this time i've been telling my friends a lot of stuff about religion. i NEVER EVER want them to follow my path and be religulous like i am now or whatever, i just want people to be true to themselves. i wish people could stand up for what they believe in. i wish people would start to QUESTION and not swallow everything like they're some kind of robot. oh come on even a robot processes what it receives, shouldn't we?????????? we were given BRAINS by you're so-called gods for god's sake.

it annoys me when people who calls themselves religious gets stuck with questions they can't answer and they end up going 'wah ga tau deh gw klo itu.' nyet, and you're STILL sticking to what you tell yourself to believe. no offence, i don't want to live a lie. i don't want to be a person who trace my rosary all day and chant prayers in a tounge i don't even understand.

gosh seriously, don't waste your brains. THAT's called being unthankful.

here we go again

strucked.

s-t-r-u-c-k-e-d

yeah those 8 letters are perfect to describe me right now. i know i haven't written mooshy posts for a long period of time, so here i go.

don't bother asking me how i got into this situation. even i'm questioning myself.

our ideologies are way to different. but maybe that's what keeping us 'attached'. kind of reminds me of my parents. two brilliant minds with nothing in common, but completing each other in the greatest way.

every girl has a selfish list of everything they want in a guy. and i mean really selfish.

i ran you through my list and i ended up getting only one checkmark.

irregular dextroity

haha i made that word up, i just hope it means what it means.

oh, i just looked the word up, it's actually dexterity. haha. well, i was close was i? i was like that guy who predicted germanium, wasn't i? haha

germanium. hmmmmm

you have to have that ability if you want to study literature, you have to have that ability.

wordplay.

oh and there's no such thing as an irregular dexterity, i made that up. hahaha

oh drat, mulai ngelantur dan makin ga jelas. hahaha. like i care. life's about a dream isn't it?

eh tp kata aerosmith, even the sweetest dreams aren't enough. hahaha. EMANG

hello peeps, or should i say...

agj's?

so how many of you out there bought the jason mraz tickets but only know 1 or two or at least 3 songs? seriously, gw hampir ga kedapetan nyet. aarrrgghhh i use to have his face as my desktop wallpaper for a long period of time. come to think of it, if i open my old laptop right now, it still has his face set as the background. and i use to print his lyrics and stick them up on my wall just for decorations since i already know all his lyrics by heart. and i also wrote his name in many ways like mr. a-z and his name in greek on my wall. i use to follow his blogs as well. i also use to feel so connected to him and that i'm sure he was my soulmate, it's just that we haven't met yet. i freaked when i found out he was bisexual they way i'd freaked if i found out my own boyfriend was gay. but eventually, i learnt to accept that fact. also the fact that he was once married in 2001 with a women named sheridan. briefly though.

oh and, those agj's who only know one or two songs like "i'm yours" cause you think that song is so sweet cause you listen to it over and over over the holidays after your boyfriend just asked you out, how many songs have to managed to memorize until now? you had your chance since you first bought the tickets.

i'm guessing, not much? yeah he sings fast doesn't he? only a few chosen one can memorize and sing his songs at the same speed.

imagine if jason did a concert before i'm yours. yeah like they're probably going to be only 10 people watching.

but as much as i hate those agj's, i thank them for making jason more successful than he already was. and for the fact that it was my fault for buying the tickets so late. well i didn't know that much agjs were influenced by that song. gees

sorry if it's harsh, really, sorry! but i have to let it out somehow

我的家的书架

so maybe i've mentioned before how my parents have their own bookshelf which cover's the whole wall of the live room and it makes me effing jealous. lately, i've been paying sooo many visits to my mother's bookshelf. i've also managed to moved some books from my mum's bookshelf to mine. here are the books i've know declared as 'also mine' hehe:

• atheis- achdiat K. Mihardja
  
• For Whom The Bell Tolls- Ernest Hemingway
• Islands in the Stream- Ernest Hemingway
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being- Milan Kundera
• jurnal perempuan: seksualitas lesbian
• A History of God- Karen Armstrong
• Unaccustomed Earth- Jhumpa Lahiri
• jurnal kebudayaan: membaca sastra

trust me, there are still A LOT more books that i'm going to declare as mine in my mum's bookshelf. what i wrote above are just a glimpse of the whole bookshelf. there are still ayn rand , che guevara, susan sontag, unsoweiter. intinya, masih banyak. banyak BANGET malah.

oh and about atheisnya achdiat K. Mihardja, gw nyesek deh. haru sabtu kmrn gw beli di gramed pim. yg edisi baru. cetakan tahun 2008. eh ternyata ada euy di bookshelfnya nykp gw. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz mendingan duitnya gw pake buat apa. trus kayanya ga enak aja gt punya 2 buku yg sama. mendingan satu gw kasi org laen. tp ini ga bisa sembarangan gw kasi juga, nanti gw dikira mengajarkan kepercayaan sesat lg. trus pas gw liat buku yg lama, yg cetakan tahun 1976 yg KEREN PARAH, ternyata itu punya bude gw. jd kayanya yg itu aja deh yg bakal gw balikin.

think about it

how often do we tell ourselves things we want to hear, even though deep down we know it's not true

我要讲故事！

from jakarta to depok by car with my dad

lessons i've learned:

-it's stupid being famous for what you consume and not what you produce

-the reason our country looks down on people who works in the culture area and look up to people like lawyers and other jobs that shower you with moolah is because indonesia is a developing country. people who earn high, get high respects

-again, it's stupid being famous for what you consume, not what you produce

lately i've been thinking, i think i'm going to drop luxury. i feel like living low, seriously. i don't know what's got into me but it's been going for some time. i no longer enjoy browsing through clothes at those oh so popular shops we so often visit, and the more money i spend for unnecessary luxury, the more guilty i feel for the people i see on the train and around the station.  there are still a gazillion more people in need and i'm not wasting my money on junk when i know those exact money could help them a lot. and i've also realized that money just gives you more trouble than happiness. so i think i'm dropping luxury as much as possible. i know maybe this isn't going to be easy. so maybe i sound like i'm bullshitting cause of the fact i just got a new blackberry and that buying brands has sort of kind of been a part of my life,  tp those are all just 'marks' left from the past. i'm sure i can drop it off little by little. 

somehow, i'm sure i'll be even happier then

unnecessary?

ever since i owned that benrik diary, ever since i volunteered to teach at a taman baca, ever since that bajaj driver gave me a glimpse of his life and ever since i read one of djenar's maesa ayu's short story, also ever since i watched that show on E!, i kind of got struck by realization. i'll explain to you four of the things i wrote above starting from benrik's diary.

so my sister bought this diary but she gave it to me. it's titled, this diary will change your life 2009

this diary has a 2009 new year's revolution which is effing funny. one of my favorite is 'make 1,879,422 pound sterling and no more'

hahaha. well, one of them is 'subvert consumer society from within'

so you write on a little card and put them inside an item in a store so that the buyer will find it once he/she purchased the item. one of the example is a hat. you put a card in the hat that says 'imagine how many families you can feed with the price of this hat'

and inside a boot, you put a card that says, 'with this boot, you are crushing the poor'

i like that idea. i imagined if i was the one who received one of those cards in an item i just bought, i would prabably feel effing guilty and decided not to use what i just bought. this also got me thinking, all this unnecessary luxury, wouldn't it be better if everyone'd donate the money rather than spend it on expensos? but well, god has a weird way of working.

number 2. volunteering to teach at a taman baca. lately i've been feeling so nyampah and i've always wanted to be productive or at least be a useful human being. so i was uberly excited when my friends--wira, ima, janoko-- asked me to join them teach this taman baca at kutek. so there's this majorly nice person who rented a small space at kutek and turned it into a taman baca for the kids who lived around there. unfortunately, he ran out of volunteers to teach there. i couldn't imagine if someone soooo nice was let down by a stupid matter like no volunteers.

the children are really really cute! i mean really! they're also really smart and sometimes i just wish i could take them home with me. lol. they also seem to enjoy going to the taman baca since there are a lot of interesting books there. i was just glad that i could be a form of happiness for them. this thought me that happiness really do come in many shapes and they surely don't have to be hmmm... expensive.

now let's get to the part about that supir bajaj. so everyday, as some of you may know, i go home by train. once i arrived at stasiun cikini, i took a bajaj to get to my house. so last week, the bajaj driver asked me if i remembered him. hence the fact that i ride a different bajaj everyday, of course i don't have a clue who he was. he said he has driven me home a few times earlier, i believed him seeing the fact that he knows where my house was without me having to give directions. then he told me that he hasn't been working for more than a month. this is because one of his kid was in the hospital earlier because of some lung disease. unfortunately, his child didn't make it. the bajaj driver told me how he had to take care of that child of his and that at the same time he had to pay the hospital bills which just adds up the burden of his utang2 di warung. seriously, i couldn't imagine how it was like to not work for more than a months while outcomes are piling up by the second and all that was topped by the death of his child. i just felt indescribably sorry for that driver. i know some of you may think he can be lying so that i'll pity him and give him extra money or whatever, but really, you should've seen him yourself. i just think that there was no way he could be lying. even he he was, i don't care. i still feel sorry for him. unfortunately, 20ribu was all that i had that time. so that was all i can give him. sigh

so i guess without me continuing, you could already figure out where this post is going. luxury isn't necessary! hello, people out there are starving!

on letting go

i finally did it

and it feels sooooooooooo good!

jintian

so today was a really REALLY long day. i mean, REALLY LONG. hahaha. and i had nothing but FUN.

i arrived at the station as usual only to find imam and iman. ade didn't come cause he came down with something. once i arrived at the campus, i went to my english class and study grammar and stuff, then to my religion class to study fungsi2 islam, sejarah islam dan karakteristik islam which was waaaayyy exciting!!!!! i'm going to post about it in my next post. after all class is finished. i trashed at kansas as usual. but tiko and ima wanted to go to kober to buy some books. i decided to come with. we went to kober by bike and it was sooo fun. after buying the books we needed, i treated the two of them to some mocchacino and we ngopi2ed for a while. then we decided we wanted to go back to FIB using the new bis kuning.

once i got back to fib, we got ready to go to kutek. me and my friends volunteered to teach some children. it was fun! the children are sooooo cute! (klo kata janoko, gw yang belajar bukan ngajarin soalnya gw baca terus haha)and after we finished teaching them janoko, wira, ima, agis, anggi and me headed for cho cho to eat the mie heboh yang porsi perang. unfortunately, the mie was way too pedes for me so i didn't manage to finish it.

it was getting late and me agis and ima walked to the train station. iman was already there and i met laras as well! aaaaah i missed her. she just had her birthday last week and she gave me this bread she bought to give to everyone. it was real nice. haha anyway, yeah, that was my day. hahaha

bandung

sebenernya gw pengen ngebahas macem2 hari ini. banyak bgt. tp ini udah jam 10 mlm dan gw bahkan belom belajar buat besok! jadi gw cuma mau ngepost 2 post lg mlm ini, ttg gw di bandung kmrn, sama gw hari ini ngapain aja.

hari sabtu kmrn gw k bandung. buat k lamarannya sodara gw. yang gw tau, tunangannya sodara gw ini tu punya ade, adenya tu tmnnya boncel, tp gw ga tau siapaa. yg gw tau tmnnya aja pokoknya. trus jumat mlm ni sebelom gw brgkt k bandung gw msnan sm ajeng kan. gw blg k ajeng klo gw mau k bandung buat lamarannya sodara gw. ajeng kaget gt, dia blg dia besok diminta tolong temennya buat jadi fotografer di acara lamaran kakaknya. haha. intinya di temen misterius yang juga calon sodara gw itu adalah satria.

nah yaudah kan acara lamaran, gw sempet maen2 bntr ma ajeng. trus gw makan di gembul segala. thk you jeng! enak lhoooooo sumpah!!!!

abis dr gembul gw dijemput sm sodara2 gw buat k pvj(paris van java). nah smp di pvj yaudah kan maen2 muter, gw ketemu sen2 sm desiree ajeng ahahaah. kaget jg si. haha. nah trus gw kan k toilet kan. keluar dr toilet satria blg k gw, "id kayanya ada tmn2 lo deh. soalnya td ada cw2 gt kan lewat. trus mereka lg ngobrol2 ketawa2 trus ada yg blg, 'eh katanya idya lg di bandung lho!'"

trus satria blg, "gw mau blg, 'eh idya lg di wc,' tp gw ga enak."

hahaaaaa. masalahnya adalah, yg tau gw di bandung cuma ajeng bella sama agnes dan mereka bertiga ga ada yg k pvj. yg laen ga tau karena semua lg di jakarta. desiree ajeng aja yg lg di pvj blg dia ga ketemu siapa2. trus gw semoet ngira itu meiska kan, dan ternyata dia lg di jakarta dan dia blg setau dia ga ada alumni tarki yang k pvj. trus gw sempet mikir itu inca kan. dia temen gw di unpar tp bukan alumni tarki. ternyata inca jg ga tau gw di bandung. jadi itu siapa?????????? dan klo emg dia kenal gw, dia pasti udah ngubungin. ah penasaran nyet. 

random facts

since facebook is swarming with random facts about random people, i'm going to make a list here. i've made one actually, but they're really fun to do so i'm doing more. i'll try to list a lit of stuff i have never mentioned in my blog before.

-i am having sooo much fun in live right now

-i don't know if it's left handed guys that are drawn to me or that i am drawn to them

-honestly, i don't really wish to be rich when i grow up. yang penting berkecukupan dan sukses. success doesn't always mean money and money will just make you all greedy and stuff

-i am not creative. at all. at friggin all

-i love being alone. being alone is the only time where you can do some thinking. when your wth other people, you can't doze of about live and all those philosophical business. just like what nietzsche said, being alone doesn't kill you, it matures you

-i prefer rain to shine. ANYTIME. well, except in circumstances like antaricstar. lol

-i consider myself extremely lucky

kite runner

let's play good news bad news!

good news:

my sony reader's here!

bad news:

it doesn't work on mac

good news:

i have a PC

bad news:

you can't buy books online outside the US!!!!!

good news:

by buying the reader, i am eligible to pick 100 book titles to download for free!!

more good news:

i know a website where i can download ebooks for free. lol

aaaah ga seru. kapan2 gw bikin yang lebih seru d. hahaah

oh god

MY SONY READER IS HERE!!!!!! aaaah it's way better than i thought it would be!!!

friday the 13th/val's day

i have heaps to write about and i don't know where to start and i'm afraid you'll all get bored reading if it's too long.

ok first of all, the best of luck for my uberly handsome cousin putra! seattle lies ahead of you and you'll have soooo much fun there! haha. my cousin just left for seattle today to continue high school. most people move to another country once they graduated from high school. moving while you're starting uni is a big deal, but moving while you're in the middle of high school????? i don't think i will ever want to do that. i mean, 11th grade is just everything. you've nver been closer to your friends and stuff, but suddenly you're dragged thousands of miles away from them. his friends also came to the airport and there were a hell lot of them. i can't imagine if i ever have to move when i was already in 11th grade. i nearly did that fyi. but of course i didn't want to. haha

today i arrived at campus and ate a sausage filled roll before i got to class. then straight after class i ate my favorite ayam bakar at kansas(kantin sastra). after that i headed straight to the airport and ate some bakso. after my cousin left, me and the whole big family who were at the airport went to jalan sabang to eat some padang food and i ate a LOT. 3 portions of rice! seriously, after the ayam bakar and the bakso hours ago. i still ate some ice cream after that and a lot of squid and soup once i got home. gosh, i eat a lot and sleep a lot. hahaha

i'm going to bandung again tomorrow, honestly, not as excited as how i used to be though. funny how many things can change in just two weeks. the purpose of my going to bandung is a relative of my is having a lamaran. boncel once asked me if i had a relative named muki. indeed i have. boncel said that muki's girlfriend younger sibling is his friend. it turns out that that younger sibling is also ajeng's friend(duh) and ajeng is going to be the photographer tomorrow! yeayyness!!!!! i thought i couldn't meet my friends at all.

MY SONY READER IS HERE!!!!!!!!!! BUT since i'm going to bandung tomorrow, i'm going to have to wait till sunday till i have it in my clutches. AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! my plan is to download the kite runner as the first book! hahahaa. oh and, i'm currently reading peony by pearl s. buck.

ada yg keceplosan gt d tadi. seneng d klo ada yg keceplosan bikin sneng. hahahahahaha.

happy val's day everyone!

sony reader

so i'm still waiting for my sony reader to come. honestly, i CAN'T WAIT till i get my hands on them! those things are a major blast in the US, well at least that's how i see it. the second amazon kindle was out, they had tonnes of orders and now there's kindle 2 and oprah winfrey also loved those things. as we all know, whatever oprah likes, the crowd is sure to follow. lol

aaaaah can't that reader just arrive NOW!!!!!! i've been thinking about the many books i'm going to keep in it. sad thing is, that things has quite a bunch of flaws. here are some which has been bothering me.

-books are books. cover and pages. that's the art of it. like what one of stephen king's character said,'things that are on paper lasts longer than those on screen.' it just feel's weird reading a book that's not a book.

-i can't pick book covers anymore

-bookshelves are also a form of art, who'd want a bookshelf if they can bring around a portable library

-i just came up with this one but if more and more people are buying those things, libraries could go extinct!!! well, maybe not, but they'll be worse than they are now(in indonesia i mean)

-I CAN'T LEND MY BOOKS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the last one, THAT is my biggest burden. lending books to people is one thing that I LOOOOOVEEEEE to do. a lot of my books are actually 'on rent' right now. i love it when people come up to me to ask me if i have a certain book they want, and if i have it, i'll lend it! and sometimes, it's pretty upsetting if someone wants to borrow a book but i don't have it. i really wish i could lend it to them. but what bothers me the most is if i had read a book and someone wants to borrow it from me but i don't own it, i borrowed it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH i still want to be able to lend books!!!!!!!!!

my books which are currently 'on rent':

1. rant-chuck palahniuk
2. a catcher in the rye-J.D. Salinger
3. Harry potter and the deathly hallows-J.K. Rowling
4. Gossip Girl-Cecily von Ziegesar
5. The Little Prince-Antoine de saint Exuperie
6. Roald Dahl's book of ghost stories
7. The Alchemist-Paulo Coelho
8. All my Roald Dahl collection which consist of more than 5 books

yeah, that's all the ones that i remember. i often forget. don't care really, as long as people are happily reading. makanya, sedih ni, kalo sampe tau ga bisa minjemin buku lagi ke orang soalnya mulai sekarang gw ga bakal beli buku lagi kayanya. huhu

hanyu hanyu

gw tau gw harusnya belajar skrg tapi maleeeeeeesss. sumpah2 males. gw paling sebel kalo udah males gini soalnya nanti klo ip jelek apa di kelas ga bisa apa pas tes nilainya jeblok, gw cuma bisa nyalah2in diri sendiri kenapa gw selama ini ga belajar blablablabla.

gw bener2 ga tau jurusan laen dan universitas laen kalo belajar tu kaya gimana, yang jelas gw ngerasa di jurusan gw tu SUSAH BGT. huhu. kan gw belajar bahasa tu, dan itu tu SANGAT MENUNTUT. mungkin kalo misalnya gw ttp di sastra tapi bukan cina, ga akan sesusah ini. paling gw cuma melajarin grammar sama kemungkinan paling buruk adalah ngafalin kelamin2 feminin maskulin apalah apalah.

di cina ya, gw harus ngafalin segitu banyak aksara tu. sumpah ya, ada ribuan gt yang hrs gw afal. dan klo lo udah bisa tp lupa2 lg, lo ga bakal maju2 karena yang lama2 tu kepake terus. aaaahh boro2 ngafalin beribu2, disuruh ngafalin puluhan aja udah empot2an. trus ada nada, klo bahasa cina nada salah artinya beda. sumpah ya, bahasa laen mana ada kaya gini. ngmng2 aja. mana ada latian ngmng2 sampe nada bner2 perfect. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

masalah underestimated, it happens. A LOT. people seem to look down on international studies. but honestly, i'm enjoying every second of it. the fuck should i care what people think. people outside this major can think anything they want, it's people from inside the major who underestimates their own major that i'm annoyed with.

my mum use to take asian studies and i think that people who study culture, antropology, archaeology and those kinds of stuff are people who are really2 WOW. in a lot of countries (apart from indonesia i guess) those jobs are considered prestigious. if you read the da vinci code, you'll know what langdon and leigh was like. i think they were awesome. anyone who has a bunch of historical thingies in their house and high interest in culture are really interesting, at least that's what i think. and it's exactly what i want to be.

tp ttp, mls belajar. heheehhehehehee

charming

i think charm bracelets are really nice and i'd honestly love to have one. but i don't want one of those ready to wear store-brought ones, i want one that's plain and i'll add up the charms as time goes by. the charms also has to be something that has a connection to something that occurs in my life.

so i searched around the internet and these are the charms my bracelet will have. honestly, i'm not really happy with the ending result cause there aren't that many options to choose from.

a trophy to remind myself of the achievements i've made in life(and the number of trophies i've earned. hehe

a spade, well a gardening tool actually. as a symbol of my dad's love for gardening

tragedy-comedy mask! a little reminder of the brief time i spent learning the art of performing which i really love, also to remind me of my love for greek mythology

my initial, nuff said. lol

BOOKS! my favorite thing in the whole wide world! if possible, i'd like to have this charm slightly bigger then the others.

pirate ship. ONE PIECE! ahaha. and as a symbol of my pastafarian belief.

disney pixar CARS

he. which happens to be my favorite chinese character. it means peace. it is also a symbol that i've started learning chinese

fleur de lis. ini agak random si, tp it's a reminder for my brother. he loves fleur de lis cause it's printed all over mr. bean's wall. haha

well there are more actually, but i think this is enough for now otherwise my bracelet won't be able to fit them all.

oh come on, seriously?

over the last few years i've heard a couple of my friends say this:

'if killing isn't a sin, i'd probably kill her.' or, 'if killing isn't forbidden by my religion, i'll surely be an assassin.'

what i want to discuss here isn't the intensity of their seriousness when they're saying that. instead, i'd like to imply that, do you really cling to your religion that much oh COME ON!!!!!!

i mean come on! seriously???? so if you're religion started saying things like raping or robbery is a way to get closer to get to god and that it could guarantee you heaven, would you do it???

seriously people, SERIOUSLY.

i've said once before, we're humans, we're smart, we have brains, why do we need an exact indicator to tell us what is right and what is wrong.

apakah harus ada indikator mutlak buat nentuin mana yang bener dan mana yang salah tanpa menggunakan akal sehat??

aaaaah sumpah yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

my dad once told me, people who goes around and question things they're supposed to question like re-li-gi-on are people who have an amazing abstraction ability. not everyone can do that. most people, they need something to cling on while they're living their lives. they need a standard to what is write and what is wrong and what to worship and what not to worship that is one of the many reason religions are formed in the first place.

this is also one of the many reason i decided to just be religionless. i don't need anyone or anything telling me what is right and what is wrong in my life. i can decide that on my own and i'm sure god is helping me through the way, and definitely NOT through religion. i mean, i also have a mind of my own. if the rules make sense then i won't mind but most of them just don't and i still have common sense, mind you.

having to cover our hair, something that is given by god itself. not being allowed to create things like statues, pictures and photographs, god created talent for use to use it and to later enjoy it as art! there are still SO MANY rules which doesn't make sense and i'm not swallowing anything without going through the ingredients. fyi, i think the most ridiculous rule in my former religion is that you can't have a sexual intercourse in a boat.

WHAT???? 

oh come to think of it, there are a hell lot more stupid rules which gets me crackin' every time i hear them. 

god does not schmod

so all this time i've been writing all those posts about my views towards religions and beliefs. i don't know why but i really do enjoy those kinds of things. right now i'm just hoping this isn't all caused by the religiulous trend. books springing everywhere with titles like ' god is not great', 'in god we doubt', 'the atheist's bible' unsoweiter.

really, i enjoy being in this zone. in this paticular zone where i go around discussing about religions and beliefs with whoever wants to. but amongst all those posts i've been publishing, i feel like i'm still missing something. a stance.

yeah, i'm missing a stance. some of you may be confused. so am i a devout atheist, or just an agnostic, or someone whose just been too poisoned by philosophy, or am i really that crazy to worship a spaghetti monster?

well, wherever i am? i am 100% sure of what i believe. here is what i believe in exactly the way i live it:

i do believe in god, i really do, it's just that i think god works in a way none of us can ever truly understand. and i don't believe in religions cause i think it's all just too weird. i still believe that religion is a way humans try to explain the unexplainable. and i believe that i am in a constant relationship with god. i believe that god is with me in every single thing i do. and i mean every little thing. somehow, i just know what god wants me to do and what god wants me to learn. so i trust god ENTIRELY and since i am in a constant relationship with god and that he is with me in everything i do, i don't pray the way other people do. i don't spare a few minutes each day to have a conversation with god or whatever, i show my prayers in the things i do. i am not exaggerating when i say, i seem to always know what god wants me to do. sure i've made a huge number of mistakes in the past, but even god wants me to learn from those mistakes.

once, me and my friends discussed about what we do when we're scared. most people say they pray and ask god for safety. but i don't pray when i get scared cause: 

a. don't lie to yourself, you know it doesn't change a thing except give you comfort which you can get another way and 

b. god puts us in that scared position in the first place. god puts us in that place also for a reason. something we have to figure out. cause really, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i mean come on, why would god want to pull you out of the situation if it was him who put you in it for the first time. i'm sure the things god make us go through is all for the best of reasons.

soooooo, that is what i believe in. i may be religioulous, but i am so into god. this is also a matter of choice cause like i've said a million times before, everyone has their own comfort zone.

oh and honestly, i have NEVER felt this close to god before. hehe

...

yaiyalah masi bt menurut L??

when you told me you don't know how to repay me and i said i don't want anything in return, i thought you were actually nice enough to know that i still want some respect!!!!!

god damn it. gosh seriously, how could you? and seriously, how could i ever fall so hard on someone like that.

aah keseeelll.

friends are everything. always

today i learned one thing and i hope this can be a lesson to all of you:

'accepting is waaaaaay harder than understanding'

eh sumpah ya

Seriously???
Is it reaaaaly that necessary?
Uuuurrrgghhh

Oh well, I guess it's God's way of telling me to forgive and move on, but not forget.
Cause only the naïve forgive and forget.

Thank you god, that was a quick response xp

hahaaaa

Nykp gw ngotot javajazz hari ini euy. Gw suruh liat d internet ga mau lg. Zzzzz

religion as a form of comfort

eh gw udah lama bgt ya ga ngomongin agama? hahaha. pada bosen apa malah kangen? hahahaha.

anyway, i'm going to write about religion as a form of comfort. so me and my friends happen to coincide with the question, 'what do you do when you feel afraid?'

a lot of people tend to say they pray. they pray  mostly for two reasons; so that their fear or what they're fearing goes away, or so that they can actually find comfort.

well in my case, i don't believe that praying actually changes anything. obviously. i think that we could actually feel scared in the first place is because God planned us to in order that we learn to overcome our fear. so, if god puts us in that situation in the first place, why would god want to pull us out of it. so what i do when i'm afraid is first i think that god placed me in this position so that i can figure out how to deal with it and overcome my fear. so the only one i can rely to is myself, and not god. cause i know that's what god wants me to do. 

oh and again, well by praying the thing you fear doesn't exactly goes away does it. what goes away is the your fear of that thing you are afraid of. and you're fear disappears not because god made it disappear, but it's because we finally find some comfort and something to rely on. well, i think that there are a lot other ways to find comfort rather than praying, each person is different, this is something everyone has to discover by themselves. cause one fact i cling on to really tight is the fact that everybody has their own comfort zone.

oh and, being the spaghetti and pirates worshipper that i am, people often come up to me and, 'blom aja lo ngalamin susah trus balik lg ke berdoa.'

hmm, first of all, selama ini gw untungnya masi sadar diri untuk ga ke jalan berdoa klo lg susah. abis gw ga mau jadi prg muna yang biasanya gw ga pernah berdoa trus giliran lg susah tiba2 doa. and like i said before, if i was having a rough time and i turned to praying, then that's just another comfort zone for me, i'd rather do something else that's more comforting.

maaf ya klo berantakan apa gmn. ngantuk

sony reader

i thought i'd be patient and just wait till the thing is on sale in indonesia, but i happen to be reeeeeaaaalllyyy lucky cause i already have iiiittt!!!!

SONY READER!!!! yeaynesss!!!!!!!!!!! now, i don't need a new bookshelf! who does anyway if you actually have a portable library. i can carry up to thousands of book titles!!! and what fascinates me the most is you just charge it for a regular 2 to 4 hours, and you can read up to 7,500 page turns!!! damn that's like finishing a good number of books with just a few hours of charge. oooh i am sooo lucky.

dear followers

iya gw tau akhir2 ini blog gw sampah bgt sumpah. zzzzzzzzzz. abis gw bingung mau nulis apa. sorry!

major room makeover

yeah, i seriously need a major room makeover. i'm already sick of how it is now. there's just to much brown and actually, brown is somehow my least favorite colour. and the curtain's getting boring and it gets me sick just to stare at it. and i definitely need new bedspreads cause this ones getting boring. and the furniture needs to be moved around cause i'm getting bored with how it is now. since i'm studying chinese culture and all that, i might as well apply some feng shui in my room. FYI, i have an upside 福(fu) hanging in my room. lol. and one crucial thing, BOKKSHELF EXPANSION!!!!!!! cause my bookself is the most ridiculous bookshelf anyone can ever encounter.

well, here are some pictures of my room.

the ever soooo boring curtain

and the huge amount of brown. these 2 plus my wardrobe on the other side(not shown on pic) which is just as brown.

that last picture shows the right side of my room. i mean, just look at that ridiculous bookshelf. the shelves are too high. you can so fit another shelf in there and make it into 4 rows.

父母(parents), i guess i'm going to need more than a bookshelf expansion for my birthday. i want the right side of my room to be turned into this

sampah nyet keren bgt. ga makan tempat lg. trus gw mau bookshelf gw jg ky gt. meliuk2 dr cuma kayu doang gt. tapi yaaaaaaaaaa ngarep bgt gw dikasi minta kaya ginian. IP gw hrs 3,99 dulu kali. bookshelf gw yg skrg mau dikemanain jg.

soooo, untuk mengantisipasi klo gw ga boleh makeover kamar, gw mau at least:

-beli bedcover baru. pronto

-beli curtain baru PRONTOOOO!!!!

-cat tembok

nah yang cat tembok ini, gw NYESEL BGT sebulan yg lalu persis milih warna ini. jadi tadinya putih. sekarang jd pink mudaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bgt jadi sama aja, kaya putih2 jg jadinya. ya kan di foto ky putih kan? tau gt gw pilih yg sekalian agak wild.

well peeps. wish me luck for my room makeover. udah bosen bgt sumpah ni semua monoton2 tai. tp ya at least it's still real pw. hehe

车！

if you ask me what my 3 favorite movies are, i will say Troy, A Clockwork Orange and CARSSS!!!!! yeah, disney pixar cars. i looooooovveeeee Cars even though not many people know this fact. haha

i remember i was awestruck when i first saw the movie. i just loooove lighting mcQueen's color and everything in the movie seems so alive. i was sooo captivated, i brought rhea and albert along with me to the movies to watch it as well while repeatedly telling them how good the movie is. apparently, they didn't like the movie as much as i did. lol. i remember how i used to loove visiting toystores and checking out all the cars merchandise. once i saw this pretty big figure of Lightning McQueen which moves when he talks. aaaaawww it's soooo cuteeeee but it was way too expensive.

now, i luckily happen to have a 2 year old brother who is addicted to cars. i introduced it to him in the first place. haha. he could watch the movie all day and he also has a lot of those little Cars figures, the ones i use to want but was kind of inappropriate if i bought them. haha. i remember seeing the cutest Lighting McQueen shoes on and i wanted to buy them for my brother sooooo bad but i didn't have the money and now they don't sell them anymore.

so my point in writing this post is to tell you all that i watched cars again today and fell in love with it all over again. aaaahhhh!  gosh cars is like probably the coolest animated movie ever made! well toys story is good, but Cars uses really captivating colors and scenery. the storyline is also really good, even though i agree with my sister, it is kind of like mendadak dangdut. hahaaaa

after watching the movie i went to look it up in the internet and guess what i fooouuuunnnnddd!

released in 2011. can't waiiiittt!! yaaah masi lama BGT siii. kelamaan malah. tp whatever, yang penting ada!!! sumpah ya gw br nyadar smp sekarang pengapus gw masi mater dibeliin nindi dulu. god, i love carsss!!!

oh and check this out as well

sumpah yaaaa. i want to touch it!!!!! a real life lightning mcQueen!

oh and one last thing, i went nuts when i first saw this poster. lucu bgttt

bored as shit

Bahkan barusan ada yg masuk kelas pake scarf. Oh myyy, I am sooo in the wrong class

i seriously picked the wrong class

I chose a random class for my english class and I think this a really stupid mistake. So my class consist of the prettiest bitches all with coloured long hair and skirts and cute little shoes and sling bags and at least one accessory in their body and nice cardigans to complete it all.
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh malessssss..... Mereka semua ni temenan trus janjian gt sekelas. I admit these girls emg yg gayanya bnran ens si bukan yg jijay gt and their all really pretty tp ni pasti ngegang gt d kelas dan gw krik2 crunch2 dgn buku pergolakan pemikiran islam gw and majorly oversize tee. Sigh.

Oh and, smlm gw br tidur jam 5 dan bgn jam 6. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

still can't sleep

Dan gw bingung sama diri gw sendiri karena:
-ga bisa berkomitmen. Parah2 paraaaaaaah. Tingkat tinggi parahnya
-ga pgn bisa nyetir pdhl kan enak klo bisa
-suka sm cowo2 kidal haha
-gw orgnya berantakan, tp rak buku harus ttp rapi. Haha
-pernah suka bgt sm clay aiken
-suka bikin2 ideologi sendiri
-ga kreatif sm sekali
-self controlnya minus
-lagi2 selalu gagal berkomitmen

Tapiiii despite all that:
-i think my weird ideologies are unique and they make sense
-my self control may be lacking but kesadaran diri agak tinggi
-akhirnya menemukan alasan logis knp gw suka cowo2 kidal. Haha
-meskipun ga pgn nyetir, tp gw pgn bgtttttt bisa naek bus dan kendaraan umum lainnya
-klo lg ga berkomitmen, gw total

masi ga bisa tidur

Gw paling bingung sm orang yang:
-suka ngebuletin umur. Kaya misalnya 15thn 7 bln dibilang 16 thn
-ga suka beli dvd bajakan
-sikap dan sifatnya bertentangan sm paham yg dianutnya
-ga suka maen the sims
-cukup tega untuk ngelipet ujung buku buat tanda smp mana bacanya
-ga suka sate padang. Haha

Eh ini cuma buat becanda2 ya jgn dianggep serius hehe

i'm trying to fix it

i am the worst listener alive.