recently...

i have been spending sooo much time with iman. F-U-N! seriously. i enjoy every second of it. problem is, i feel that our parents are interfering too much with our relationship. well, not our parents, MY parents. my mum kept asking if whether or not he will take business administration. seriously, that's his personal choice. my dad is also dead curious who his father is, seeing they've done business together in the past. then his mum starts to question my race. i'm not saying anybody's racist, i think this is COMPLETELY NORMAL. i mean i am 18 an i'll have to prepare for, well, the future.

but this all feels weird, i mean, if you've read my previous posts, you'll know i have this thing with commitment. i just don't see any point of committing. but all of a sudden my parents are barging me with the basic principles of commitment and i'm like, what??????

iman, out of all people, knows this commitment issue of mine. he knows how pessimistic i am about everything that i have to stick to, including our relationship. he knows how much i don't want to commit to one person for the rest of my life. but what i like about him, he doesn't really care and he's trying to prove to me that i do deserve what i don't think i deserve.

like what i wrote in one of my previous post, the only reason i want to get married is for the sake of having kids. surely there are other ways, but it's pretty much intolerable here. i also still respect my family's values. 

i always have a thing towards marriage, they're just not for people like me. seriously, i'm not one who have enough skill, or luck, to go through all those obstacles. beneran deh. and when it goes down in shambles, it will go down no matter what i do. so why bother start?

but what made me throw a smile is iman lent me a book he borrowed from his friend esp for me. the title of the book is divortiare. the author is ika natassa. anyone read it yet? it has a great and not cheesy cover. but what i like most is the synopsis at the back. the first sentences are

commitment is a funny thing, you know? it's almost like getting a tatto. you think and you think and you think and you think before you get one. and once you get one, it sticks to you hard and deep.

fair enough. can't wait to read it. tootles!