yeaaaaay!

hmmm honestly, gw bingung mau mulai dr mana. ok, gw mulai dr belakang aja. intinya gw menang lomba debate hari ini. hahahaha

jadi td kan gw k kampus lg, lomba lg. and just like what i wrote before, gw ga mood at all. bener2 mlsssssssssss bet bet bet. jd gw jg seharian males2an gt in doing anything. then my teammates noticed. well duh, secara kita brg terus. before i go on, my teammates names' are lesly and riza. wkt riza pergi sholat, which is just before the announcement of who goes into the finals, lesly blg k gw. 'i know you think debating is not your thing, i know you feel like you're not as good as me and riza and i know that you're on the verge of quitting. but me and riza chose you for a reason. we believe that you could do this.' aaaaaaaaw, sumpah gw lgsg g enak bgtttt. when i opened my mouth to speak, lesly cut me off, 'no. you have not dissapoint us at all. but you keep underestimating yourself. you're intimidated by me and riza. you're good, trust me. we couldn't have got this far without you. you also played a part. you're first speaker and you're pretty good for a beginner. i could never ever be  first speaker.'

then i asked if he ever felt like quitting. and he said yes. definitely, yes. even riza later on told me that she once phoned home and actually cried saying that she wants to quit debating so bad and that she just couldn't take it anymore. lesly also told me that the first time he debated, he was major awful. like blurgh. he said it wasn't until his 3rd debate tournament until he was equal to i am now. and the fact that i can reach this far as a newbie is just great.

so the announcement came out and our team made it into the final round. our team vs untar. the winner of this final round is the winner of the whole tournament. after what my teammates told me, i really didn't want to bail them and disappoint them in any way. so i did my best. what made the final round different from the other rounds is that the previous rounds were done in closed rooms. the final round had a number of live audiences. know what i did? i panicked and i cried. i cried and i really wish we would just do it inside a closed room again. how was i supposed to talk in front of all those people?????

then i thought to myself, isn't being able to speak in public my biggest wish right now? don't i always want to be able to make a whole bunch of people to actually listen to what i have got to say? so i wiped my tears and completely erased the thought off throwing up and remind myself of princess mia. she used to barf when she was told to give speeches, later on, she learned how to do it in a fun way and look at her now, she has brought democracy to genovia. so i got it, talked in front of those people aaaaaaaaaaannnnddd i actually enjoyed it! hahahahahahaha. seriously, it was fun! esp seeing the audience nodding their heads as you try to prove your point. lol

so in the end, our team won. hehehehehe. remembering a few days back, i was completely clueless about everything. i was even introduced to riza like 2 hours before the tournament started. when we got into the debater's hall, we could see a lot of people from different universities, each having papers scattered all over their tables and a laptop opened. they were all discussing the motions being given the previous day. while our team. we just sat there with our table completely empty cause we were soooooooo not in the mood of doing anything. and i thought, whatever, i''m here to have fun not to win. this is my first time. i'm completely clueless! but look where we got up to! champion! hahahahahaahaha. oh and, i changed my mind and i take my words back. debating IS my thing! haha

ooooh iyaaaaa. trus gw seneng deh. after we won, i sat down and 2 other ui students congratulated me. they were like, 'this is your first time???? seriously????? WOW! you got potential! seriously!' their surprise was completely genuine and it makes me happy cause they actually watched the debate so they actually saw i how i spoke. and if that's what they think, then thank you! and the best speaker was from untar, his score was 75, 2. and my score was 73,8. sooooooooo ternyata emg gw ga nyampah2 bgt and YES, i have been underestimating myself. hehe.